African American Weddings
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Advice

Hey Ladies,

I need some advice and know that you will all stare me in the right direction. I have always wanted to get married in the Church as it means a lot to me. The hubby and i have been together for 7 years and started attending a Church together about 6 years ago. Now this is the issue: Right now, we have pretty much everything and are WAY over budget. We are now at the point where we don't want to spend any more unnecessary money.  The only place we have not booked/confirmed his the ceremony location. I want to have it at the church but if we do so, we would have to pay for transportation for the bridal party and ourselves and there are some fees we would have to pay the church. The deposit is 250 but we get that back a few days after the wedding. (They do that incase something gets messed up). The other fees include using the technicians/ church audio etc which ends up being around another 250. THEN we have transportation which is not even something i have looked into yet but i know with everything it will be way a nice amount.

The hubby is all for  doing he cheapest thing and not looking or thinking of anything else.

The reception is at the airport Marriott in Philadelphia and if we have it at the Marriott, it would be the same amount as far as fees but we would not pay for transportation but there is NO PLACE FOR PICS or anything like that around there since it is so close to the Airport.

It has always been important to me and its not settling well with me that the only reason we would not have it at the church is to save money.

I am so torn about this issue and need to decide soon as we are hitting the 7month mark next week

Thanks ladies
Mrs-Flawless-Pitts

Re: Advice

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like your heart is set on getting married in the church so I say go with that. Is it possible to cut the budget from another area to make up the difference?
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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Girl i wish we could cut the budget... It seems to be going up in everything.... I wish i didn't have such high taste. The thing is hubby is like " get it, do it" whenever i tell him about something but i do not want to push it or make us broke :(
    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
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    edited December 2011
    Well I guess it really depends on how much the transporation would be since you said it would be about the same in fees for the Marriott vs. the church. Sorry, I cant really offer much help because my ceremony and reception were at the same place!
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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Its ok honey, thanks for responding... It felt to at least vent, lol
    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Is there time in your schedule for a part-time job? 

    Instead of a chauffered vehicle, could you rent a fancy, roomy SUV to accomodate your WP?

    Can you talk to your church, explain your predicament, and set up payment arrangements for the fee and the incidentals?


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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Nah, i work in a very field that will not allow me to EVER work a second job due to the kind of field that i am in. WISH I COULD


    I have 12 in my bridal party so i doubt i can find one car for all of them



    Deep inside i know it is something that can be done, its just the fact that we are WAY over the budget ... I know God will make sure it will all work out


    Thanks babe

    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
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    sadou02sadou02 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    For transportation for my Bridal party, since it is only 10 people I was gonna rent two- midsize SUV's and then for my vehicle I was gonna get a friend of my brothers to chauffer us in  a Mercedes. Almost Sex in the City style. Maybe you could consider that with regards to transportation.  Im praying that I remain within budget and anywhere where I can do inexpensive yet taseful I am doing. Plus if you rent the luxury car, you can probably keep it for a day extra if you like just to drive around in.

    HTH
    image139 Made the list!
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    edited December 2011
    I guess I may get hit for asking this question:  why do you feel obligated to provide transportation for your bridal party?  Perhaps they may be willing to drive their own vehicles/carpool since they will need transportation back to the church to retrieve their vehicles anyway.  I know the weddings where I have been an attendant, I wanted to drive my own vehicle but the bride wanted us all to ride together and I obliged because it was her day.  I enjoyed the one where there was no transportation for the bridal party because I was able to leave the reception without trying to find a ride home or to get my car.

    All I'm saying is that you shouldn't forgo a church ceremony because of transportation costs for your bridal party.

    Just asking......
    Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    I think you should have your wedding in the church, and everything else will fall into place. It seems as though your heart is set on it.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:fe2ada75-3046-403b-8966-5406390503cbPost:751c7b1a-1700-4e6c-a926-4006f91e765f">Re: Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess I may get hit for asking this question:  why do you feel obligated to provide transportation for your bridal party?  Perhaps they may be willing to drive their own vehicles/carpool since they will need transportation back to the church to retrieve their vehicles anyway.  I know the weddings where I have been an attendant, I wanted to drive my own vehicle but the bride wanted us all to ride together and I obliged because it was her day.  I enjoyed the one where there was no transportation for the bridal party because I was able to leave the reception without trying to find a ride home or to get my car. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't forgo a church ceremony because of transportation costs for your bridal party. Just asking......
    Posted by banks69[/QUOTE]

    Excellent point and so very true.  Consider cutting out the transportation and work from there.
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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Personally i would not want my bridal party to drive to the location for the ceremony, picture location and then back to the reception. My bridal party will probably spend a lot of money on time before the actual day on me and i would not want them to do anything extra than they have to do that day, and want to feel special that day even if they are just bridesmaid. We are getting ready at the hotel so all their vehicles will already be at the hotel so they have a way to get home. Also if i am going to have have pictures taken, i can't expect them to drive around the city  of Philadelphia which is probably where i will get shots done in between the service and reception and looking for parking. Plus in Philadelphia, they tow cars like people drink water and they will not care if you  are having a wedding and taking pics.  Personally it is just not something i would  not ask them to do. I think it would be so tacky for me to roll up there in a limo or classic car and they show up in like 4/5 cars. I know if it was me, i would be annoyed but that's just me
    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
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    TNMurrayTNMurray member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are going to have a church wedding with a limo so just choke it up. :-) I am sure that there is somewhere that you can look to cut a few dollors even if its not the full amount of the limo. Or tell FI to work Over time.
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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    lol @ tnmurray, u know i always  love you. I think hubby is going to let me have my way but i feel so bad because i am like $_,000 over budget... lol

    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_advice-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:fe2ada75-3046-403b-8966-5406390503cbPost:1fa98ee7-7a16-4807-b808-e64f6b8ab77a">Re: Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are going to have a church wedding with a limo so just choke it up. :-) I am sure that there is somewhere that you can look to cut a few dollors even if its not the full amount of the limo. Or tell FI to work Over time.
    Posted by TNMurray[/QUOTE]

    She just spoke it into existence - I can't argue with that.....

    If that's what you really want, I'll agree with you that it will happen. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
    Anniversary Trying to Conceive Ticker
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    flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I love you ladies..... I feel like you ladies are like my sisters :)
    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
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    edited December 2011
    I think you should get married in the church, since that's your dream. I'd hate for you to have to regret it later. If you have any friends or family members with nice cars, ask them if you could use their car for the day of your wedding, to save on the car rental fee. 
    And we all know income tax season is coming up, so you can use some of that cash towards the fees. I'm pretty sure that's what most of us Brides-to Be are using our taxes for anyway.. 
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    I'm with PP. If this is what your heart's set on, the money will work itself out. See where you can cut back on other things, and how much extra you can save. You don't want to look back and wish you'd done what you really wanted. Good luck!

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    my advice would have been to either make cuts to your budget or have them drive themselves.  look really hard at the budget.  is there any way parents could contribute on transporation since you want to provide it?  is there a trolley service you can use that would be cheaper than a limo or suv?  i know there's no hindsight in this, but i would have booked my ceremony spot first.  that way you could have secured it.

    good luck.
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