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August 2009 Weddings

HELP A SEPT BRIDE!

Hi ladies! Congrats to everyone who was married this month!!I was thinking that you might be the right brides to ask about things you would have done different/changed about your wedding? Or things that you are really happy that you did? Thanks in advance!!
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Re: HELP A SEPT BRIDE!

  • I really wouldn't have changed much our wedding - everything went off without a hitch! the one thing I'm really happy I did was hiring a DOC. she waited on me hand and foot all night long, and made sure I didn't have to stress over anything. she transported all our gifts, cards, guest book, etc to a designated vehicle at the end of the night, so that I wouldn't have to worry about it. she was definitely worth every penny! good luck with your wedding! :D
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    TTC since October 2010 | BFP 12/29/11 | RRQ BORN 08/26/12
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  • I'm really glad that I spent money, time and effort on the things that were important to us (i.e. food, video, first dance, and ceremony, particularly the music and readings). Those were the things that everyone complimented afterward, and that made us feel really good.Conversely, I'm also glad that I *didn't* spend money, time and effort on the things that weren't important, like centrepieces, programs, and most of the little details. By the last week or so, I came up to many points where I just said, "Screw it, not gonna care" and it saved me so much stress. In other words, what do you want people to say was awesome about your wedding? Worry only about those, and nothing else.I do wish that I had come up with a must-take list for our photographer though. I trust her completely, but now I look at some other people's photos and just keep crossing my fingers that my photographer also got some good stuff. It's a little nervewracking not knowing what kind of photos she got (other than the teasers, which I do love).Having a hotel room at the reception venue that night was GOLD. Especially given that I had asked my brother to help us check in, bring our bags, and transport all of the gifts up there beforehand, so at the end of the night, all we had to do was go upstairs and go to bed.I'm also REALLY glad that we arrived home from our honeymoon on a Saturday and had Sunday to recover before going back to work!Good luck to you!!
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    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • If you are getting ready at the same hotel room that you and your DH will be using that night after the reception, designate someone to clean it up a bit before you get back.  My girls and I got married in the room that we stayed in, and all of our crap was everywhere when we got back that night, so I cleaned up before bed (not really a big deal, but I was tired and would have prefered not to...)  Also, the boys got ready in my friend's room and left it a COMPLETE disaster, so I felt really bad about that. If you have younger brothers who are in the wedding in rented tuxes who have a history of being dumba$$es and you think might drink too much, put someone in charge of making sure they take home all of their clothing.  My brother called me the next morning panicking because he was missing his jacket and tie...and he didn't like it when I told him he was an adult and it wasn't my problem :)
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    BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
    BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
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  • See, I'm the complete opposite of Mandee - I'm glad I didn't hire a planner, but we're really good at keeping to a schedule and keeping organized. As for things I would have changed - the only thing I'd do is make sure that I got some of the passed crab cakes appetizers. Our guests kept telling us they were the best they'd ever had, and neither of us got to try them. Sadness!I will say, don't let your photographer (of anyone else) drag things out... or let socializing get in the way of eating. I made my photographer pause so I could try all the appetizers (save the aforementioned crab cakes) because food & drink was my priority.
  • I second kaesha on the appetizer part--I was bummed that I only got to try one of each of ours... Also, eat a piece of cake...we had cheesecake and besides the tiny piece I ate when we cut it, I didn't have any.  Luckily the guy who made them made a bunch of extra, so my parents got us an entire cheesecake for a later date...I can't wait to dig into it! And, if your officiant calls you by the wrong name the whole ceremony, don't sweat it.  I was called "Kristen" the whole time (my name is Tristan), but we just laughed it off and the guests got a kick out of it later (when they realized we weren't upset)
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    BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
    BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
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  • If you have younger brothers who are in the wedding in rented tuxes who have a history of being dumba$$es and you think might drink too much, put someone in charge of making sure they take home all of their clothing. Haha! This made me laugh!
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    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • good point on eating the appetizers! I only had a small bite of our chicken skewers. our guests RAVED about the crab (crap?) dip we served, and I didn't get to eat any of it!
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    TTC since October 2010 | BFP 12/29/11 | RRQ BORN 08/26/12
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  • I'm really happy that I enjoyed myself despite all the little things that went wrong. I was able to relax and be in the moment, consequently, I have very good memories of the day and although it goes by too fast, I feel like I enjoyed every moment. Ditto on hiring a DOC, that was another part of the reason we were able to have an amazing day and just enjoy it. She took care of everything, including keeping us on schedule and that was very helpful.
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  • My wedding went off with out a hitch. I was very very organized. Make sure you have a list of vendors and a schedule. Give a copy of it to everyone. You never know who might need it. My DOC was awesome they helped keep everything in order. If you can't hire one. Maybe a friend or someone can be that for you. It really helps.If your DH's best man drops the ring don't sweat it. Just laugh. :D. Eat your food and cake. Enjoy it you've worked so hard to decide on all of the decisions.  If you don't finish any of your DIY stuff no one but you will notice. I didn't finish everything.When you make your first appearance stop. Just stand there for a few seconds. I had to wait 15 seconds before I could walk because of the music. It was one of the most magical 15 seconds. I was standing with my Dad. Looking at my future husband. My mom said she heard him sigh.At your reception do the same thing. I stopped at one moment just to take it all in. I was so happy and everyone I cared about was there celebrating with me. I was lucky enough to have a photobooth. BEST MONEY I SPENT hands down. Everyone had a blast.on a practical note. Make sure you have clothes together for your wedding night. DH and I both forgot. Also a girl from my local board. Make sure if you are wearing spanx that you have somethign pretty to change into. Your New Husband is not going to thing it's sexy at all when you take off your gown and he see them. In fact everyman I know of who has heard of them or seen them in the laundry is disturbed by them.Best wishes and have a wonderful wedding.
  • I agree with everyone on the appetizers. Have someone set a plate aside for you. My DH and I didn't get any (didn't even get to see the display until photos). I have people tell me all night how great the spread was. Also, make sure you get a piece of cake set aside for you. We did chocolate (for DH) and vanilla (me). I requested that we each get a piece set aside for us. So glad we did! Sweetheart table is a must. It was so nice having some time alone with DH. Give someone your camera. I won't see my photogs pics for 6 weeks or so. I gave my SIL my camera for the day and she got great shots. I am so glad I got to see them. Definitly do a list for your photog. And make sure you give it to them. I made a list and somehow forgot to give it to them! I know they got most of it but am hoping they got some other stuff (like my diy projects, table set ups, etc.) Most importantly let it all go. Despite drama or issues or problems you may face leading up your day will be perfect! My MIL is total drama queen and wasn't really happy we were doing a destination wedding so she "pretended" to be sick and didn't even attend the rehearsal dinner or reception. The morning of was pouring rain and I had to make a decision about whether to continue with plans for outdoors or move indoors (which I wasn't super excited about). Amazingly I stayed calm through all of this. You can't control things like others behaviors or the weather so just go with it...it will all be perfect! It all goes so fast...enjoy every moment of it!
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  • Most of mine are in agreement with others. We did a sweetheart table, and it was an excellent decision. You get to sit and just soak it all in with your new hubby. Our DOC from the hall we had the reception at was amazing. She ran around so I didn't have to. i wouldn't have paid for one, though, since I was so anal about making sure everyone knew what they were doing and when. Make sure to take the photographs you want, and don't worry about the timeline. It was one of the best things we did. Plus, there were moments he'd catch us during the reception to try something else he had thought of. Those are excellent pictures. Try to do anything the photographer asks, because they usually know what they're talking about. Don't be afraid to speak your mind to your vendors if you want or don't want something done. Remember to look up when you walk down the aisle and tell the person you're walking with to do the same. I didn't get any pictures of that moment we saw each other because I was so worried about tripping. Remember to have fun and not worry about what others want or are thinking. We spent a lot of wasted time going around to the tables. We maybe got to 5 out of 18 and most people were leaving right after the cake. They'll get thank you cards, so don't stress it. EAT! For the love...eat your food. You paid for it, and it's probably delicious. I didn't get to eat or drink anything during pictures, but my whole wedding party did. It was frustrating, since I love to eat. Soak it all in and try to remember the moments, because it only happens once. Congratulations and have fun!
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  • My biggest advice would be make sure you spend time with the people you want to see who you dont get to see very often. We of course stopped by every table and said hello to everyone and thanked them for coming, but after that, if they werent dancing, we didnt see them. That is my only regret of the day.
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  • I wouldn't change a thing about our wedding. It was a DIY wedding and we had a very limited budget, so I had to do alot of research before I chose my vendors and I ended up discarding some projects because I ran out of time and it wouldn't have added anything more to the wedding.I planned everything from day one, from vendors/contracts, down to setting up the day before ourselves and we even did the breakdown, too (no one knew we did this). It was easy for me to stay on top of all my vendors, payments, timelines, inventory, etc, because I am detailed-oriented (some could say I was a control-freak, but I did let go of a lot of things). I kept to my mantra: simple elegance. The best decisions I made was 1) not using real flowers for the reception and bouquets and 2) hiring a DOC. At first my DH was highly uncertain about the role of a DOC and was concerned because of the extra expense. Having her there really made everything run smoother and she took care of the stuff that came up during the reception. She made sure that everything went the way I planned it and even did a few things to improve upon my original layout.  She helped me to relax and just let go. I wouldn't have been so calm without her there taking care of vendor deliveries setup. Everyone raved about the ceremony, the food, the cake, the decor, they loved everything and what they loved the most was that it truly expressed what "our" day was about. That was the fruit of all of the stress and anguish that I went through making sure everything was just right.I was very calm the day of (my DH was not, his hands were shaking a bit during the ceremony). At first, a couple of my family members thought I was nuts to set up the day before the ceremony, but then they understood why I wanted the space "turn-key ready". I know there are people out there who frown upon using fake flowers, but the ones that I used were realistic and no one noticed that they weren't real.I am glad the whole wedding experience is over (I don't miss the stress and losing sleep over stuff), but I am very happy that things turned out the way it did.Good luck with your wedding!
    Joseph Michael - 12/22/2010
    5lbs 9 oz, 18.5 inches long
    6 months: 16lbs 15 oz, 27 inches long

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  • As much as I loved my wedding there are a couple things I'd change if I could go back: 1. I would not spend money on the little things no one really notices like centerpieces, linens, silly decorations around the venue, the kind of plates and silverware we had, etc.2. I would spend the money on a DOC. There were quite a few things that weren't ready. I wanted everyone to arrive to a fan on the seats and bottles of water chilled in this big bucket thing I bought since it was an outside ceremony. The chairs were being set up as the guests were arriving, and the fans and water had to be handed out while they were waiting. The water had been in the fridge at the venue all night so they were cold, it just would have been a nice touch. Other than that, I am happy with everything. I didn't dwell on what went wrong, they're just things I would have had go differently. Furthermore, just make sure you have fun. Even if you aren't a dancer try to do a couple songs. Even if you don't like taking pictures, make sure your smiles are big and sincere. Talk to everyone you can, laugh a lot, be happy for this day!
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