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QOTW - Does Tradition still live in terms of

Who's paying?

In today's wedding world, we have various ages of brides and various situations.  Are we sticking to the brides family pays for almost everything?

For me and my FI, we didn't.  I am 30 - at least till Monday - lol!  A homeowner - etc.  My parents gave me a lump sum.  His parents paid for the RD & the honeymoon.  We are footing the rest of it.  How goes it for the rest of y'all?

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Re: QOTW - Does Tradition still live in terms of

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    We're both young...I'll be 24 at the wedding...he'll turn 23 nine days later.  We'll graduate from college 28 days before the wedding, so we're really starting out at the very beginning.  My parents are paying for the ceremony and  reception.  FI is taking care of the honeymoon and the videography (they're friends of his, and he said he could take care of that).  His parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner, but they're also helping with some aspects of the wedding day.  For example, the church his dad is the pastor of is letting them bring 35 black tablecloths so we don't have to rent/buy them, and they're paying for FI's sister's plane ticket and worked out with her to be our photographer.  She's a professional and is doing this as our wedding present.  I was concerned that she would want to "enjoy the day" but she loves photography and would probably be taking pictures anyway, so this is her way of enjoying the day.  So, "Who's paying?" is mostly traditional, but we're accepting help if it's offered.
  • edited December 2011
    My parents gave me $5K, we're paying for the HM and his parents pay for rehearsal dinner.  Anything over the 5K is on us... luckily, we haven't even reached 6K yet and I dont think we will. I am anal and have saved almost every receipt and have kept track of everything that I have spent on this wedding, including the gifts to our WP and family (which is most of the excess over the 5K).

    Is anyone else tracking what they spend also?? Weddings are expensive!!!
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  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Both his parents and mine are helping pay for the ceremony, reception, and rehearsal dinner. We are also helping contribute to everything and the honeymoon. Our total budget comes to 10,000. We are saving by us DIYing some things. We are also going to have an old school/ retro cake and punch reception between meal times. We splurged on the photographer since that is the most important thing to us.
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  • edited December 2011
    My Fiance and I are both 25.and so far his parents gave us 10K for the wedding in a check. my parents bought my dress and are paying for the ceremony and centerpieces. My fiance paid for our honeymoon and certain down payments for photographer, dj, etc.....
    We got lucky his parents were so generous with our "wedding gift" that was half of our budget. Everything turned out wonderfully so far :) couldnt be happier
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  • edited December 2011
    I have to have 2 weddings (and multiple outfits to change to). One is the traditional Nigerian wedding which my parents are footing the bill for. FI and I will be paying for the attire and jewelry and such that we will be wearing.  

    The other is the "western" wedding which FI and I are paying for fully.

    FI's parents are paying for the day after brunch because we won't be doing the rehearsal dinner since our Nigerian wedding is the night before the western one.

    Like KK, both FI and I own our own places and we're both 32 and 31 so we really felt blessed that our folks offered to help out because we weren't expecting it.
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  • DanielleB80DanielleB80 member
    edited December 2011
    So far it looks like we will be paying for everything ourselves. Cry  Unless there is a wedding fairy....ha ha
    I set the budget at 10K and will be doing a lot of things myself. FH is paying for the honeymoon so that's not included in the budget. Since there is no WP, what ever rehearsal will be done, but no dinner afterwards. If anyone wants to eat we may go to a restaurant or something. I bought the fabric but my mom is making my wedding and reception gowns (that really helped the budget LOL).

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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I was 38 when I got married so I fully expected to pay for everything.  

    When my sisters each got married, they were a lot younger and my parents gave them a set amount for their weddings.  When my younger sister got married, I asked my parents to give her my "share" but they wouldn't.  One of my sisters had children in the wedding and they were both in the wedding so I knew having a place to stay would be an extra expense.  I asked my parents if they would be willing to pay for everyone to stay there (we got married about 10 hours away from home so everyone needed to stay there).  That was my parents' contribution.

    DH's parents wanted to pay for our invitations, 1/2 flowers and the RD.  We paid for the rest.

    I really feel like it depends on the situation of the couple getting married and how much parents could afford to be able to help them.  Anyone at my age should certainly not expect or ask for help.  For younger couples, I think it is great if they can pay for it since saving for the wedding requires discipline and good stewardship.  But if the parents are able and willing to help, I don't see a problem with that.
  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_qotw-tradition-still-live-terms-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:bbf76013-34e2-4573-918e-6f6b8c87b756Post:8bc23c92-8e7e-439b-8b24-0113a44b55af">Re: QOTW - Does Tradition still live in terms of</a>:
    [QUOTE] Is anyone else tracking what they spend also?? Weddings are expensive!!!
    Posted by heatherk_11[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah...I'm putting my Excel spreadsheet knowledge to work for this wedding.  Tracking costs and estimating what things will cost initially caused my parents to realize that with the huge guestlist THEY created, we couldn't feed with the budget they had originally said...so they're has been some wiggling, but for the most part, we're trying to stay under on a lot.

    I'm fine with the guestlist...it was just one of those *internal* moments of, "I told you so," when they said they had upped the food budget.  I am the first wedding in the family in a VERY long time, so they just really didn't know what food was going to cost.  We didn't even think about alcohol, so that wasn't an issue at all...but food and flowers are going to cause me to break out. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
  • jm121323jm121323 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are paying for everything ourselves.  We are both in our 40's and well established.
  • edited December 2011
    My Parents and FI's parents are just putting equal amounts into a wedding bank account. We are keeping track of all expected budgeted items and then putting in actual costs. When we originally did our budget we did it with 300 ppl, most expensive venue, most expensive food choice, etc. so that we could really see what a wedding could cost in our area then we have made economical choices and picked things out that mattered to us.
  • edited December 2011
    My parents decided long long ago to put money aside for both of their daughters' weddings.  I think, but I'm not sure, that they and my fiance's parents have divided the expenses very traditionally. 

    I paid for some of my accessories and some of the decorations when I've been out running errands.  We're buying the sparklers ourselves, and we bought each others' rings.

    I am so thankful that our parents have been so generous. I graduated college last year, and my fiance just graduated in May, so money's tight for us.  We had a short engagement, and I would have been devastated had we had needed to put the wedding off for a year while we saved up for it.  A small ceremony would have been nice, too, though. :) 
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    edited December 2011

    My parents are paying for the wedding and recpetion.  My fiance's parents are paying for the rehersal dinner and a second reception for people in their home country unable to come to our wedding.  Both my fiance and I are 25 years old.  He's in grad school, and I'm unemployed due to a lay off. I wish I could foot at least part of the bill, as I feel bad having my parents pay.  But they seem to be okay with it and have expected it.  They're a pretty traditional bunch.

  • mwhitson14mwhitson14 member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My parents paid for about half, DH's parents paid for the RD. I footed things that were more important to me, personalized details like the cupcake wrappers and monogrammed aisle runner that my mom wasn't too keen on. I honestly didn't expect my parent's to contribute anything, but they ended up paying for the catering, photography, and cake.
  • edited December 2011
    My hubs is 26[27 in Oct] and I'm 24. We're homeowners and both of cars are paid off and as of now we are footing the bills for the wedding. We actually feel more comfortable paying for everything ourselves however, my FIL is offering to pay for the cake and I'm sure our families will offer more financial help closer to the day of.

    I would feel weird having my family pay for everything after already being fiscally responsible.
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  • orangespidersorangespiders member
    edited December 2011
    FI and I are paying for the entire wedding. I like it because the only person I have to comprimise with is my best friend and we already have similar taste. =)
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