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Christian Weddings

How do you get along with his family?

I must admit.... with his parents, I always felt like a guest until we decided to get married.  His extended family took right to me.  His immediate family is a little different because they lost his younger sister to a brain tumor 4 years ago.  So its always been a little awkard.  The wedding planning has given us more time to get to know each other!  I've actually decided I think I like them - lol!  This is great since you kind o marry the family too!   What about everyone else?
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Re: How do you get along with his family?

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    His sister and brother in law live about 15 minutes from our college, and FI will be living with them next year, so I'm pretty close with them.  His sister and I can even hang out without FI. :)  His parents are so sweet, and I've realized (mostly from the boards) that my FILs aren't the norm.  They treated me like family from the first time I visited with FI, and they've been super helpful with wedding plans, but not intrusive at all.  His dad is actually doing the ceremony, which is the one thing we were both set on.  FI is the youngest of 6, so besides the sister that lives near us, the others are spread out from Chicago to SC.  I've only met most of them once, and that was before we were engaged, but they've all been messaging me on fb asking how plans are going, and his older sister has volunteered to do the photography.  I'm the oldest of 3 and my brothers could honestly care less that we're planning a wedding.  I could really get used to this whole "sisters" concept. :)
  • edited December 2011
    FI lost his dad almost 3 years ago.  I had only met his family a few times before that.  His mother had a lot of psychological issues after her husband's death, so she wasn't someone I could really talk to.  She became very needy and was very jealous of mine and FI's relationship. 
    She has healed over time and is now doing much better.  She has moved on with her life and has been seeing someone for a few months now.  She is very excited for the wedding and tells me she loves me.  And I love her too!
  • edited December 2011
    I get along really well with most of his immediate family.  One of his brothers is kind of in a jerky phase of life, so I don't have much to talk to him about!  But I try to make it over to their place every weekend we're in town.  I get along really well with his extended family, too, whenever they come out for holidays and such.  Their family is pretty different from mine--much more country-type folk, where my parents are a little more of townies!  But we all get along really well and I rarely have a bad thing to say about any of them. 

    My fiance hangs out with my parents when I'm not there, but I'm not that comfortable with his folks yet!
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  • edited December 2011

    I've always been the type of girl to never really get along with a guys family. When me & my fiance started dating I was scared because of how we met everyone judged us. When we got engaged  he text his mom and told her..yes stupid but thats how he did it. Later that day I was scared to even go to his parents house but we went and I was greeted at the door with a hug & welcome to the family. his mom got on the computer & started planning the wedding right away. At that time I lived 2 hours away from him so over the course of a month his mom would call me every night telling me the new ideas she came up with. Now I live closer and honestly his mom & I are like best friends. She wants to be apart of the wedding planning so much and I love it because its not like she's trying to take over. Also he has a sister that is the same age as me & we're all the time hanging out. Alot of people say its strange but I feel like I'm really apart of their family now.

  • edited December 2011

    I've always been the girlfriend mother's love, so meeting FI's mom and her not really welcoming me was something new to me.  But that first month together I had pretty much met the whole family.  He told his aunt that I was his FI before he ever asked me.  Everyone took to me like family like I had been around for years.  Then I also had went to school with his sister and brother but the were a few years older so we never really knew each other but we did see each other.  I think it will take both of us a lil while to really get totally familiar with each others families because we are both so shy, but I think our first priority was establishing relationships with each others kid(s)!!

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  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    DH Is an only child so his immediate family is just his parents.  For the most part I get along very well with the ILs but there are some awkward moments still.  When we were dating, it was a LDR so I had to travel to see him and always stayed with his parents.  That was a little bit awkward but now that we are married it is different because he is here now and I don't have to see them as much.  I'm sure it has been hard for them having him get married and move away so I try to be sensitive to that.  

    I'm so thankful that his parents are believers and raised him the way they did.
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  • edited December 2011
    We get along really well. I met his brother within a week of meeting him, and a few days after DH decided to ask me out (but before he actually did ask), his brother out of the blue told him that he should date me. His mom and I have very similar beliefs and interests, so we get along well. Plus, she's a licensed cosmotologist and an artist, so she loves it when I throw new hair challenges at her. His dad is a very quiet man, he really doesn't talk much. I think he likes me. He's never said he doesn't.
    Anniversary
  • KMB611KMB611 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I haven't met my FI's father yet, but he is close to his mom and she and I get along very well. I also get along with his sister, aunts, grandmother, and cousins. They have welcomed me into their family since I met them last year. I'm excited to be marrying into a family who reminds me so much of my own.
  • felkelsfelkels member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FIL's live about 8 hours away!  I LOVE THEM!   LOL
    His dad is very sentimental and thoughtful.  He always goes into very deep sentiment and emotion when he talks to me.  like 2 weeks ago, we drove through town and stayed at their house over night.  His dad asked if he could help carry stuff out to the car (after mom loaded us down with late shower gifts), so once we got out there he gave me a big hug, and welcomed me to the family.  He told me (for probably the 10th time) how much it meant to them for us to have gone out of our way to stop by (literally like 4-5 hours out of the way, having to drive around yellowstone park instead of through it to get there).  Mom packed us down with stuff, and as they are trying to downsize their house, they are trying to pawn off old furniture and clothing on me...when I need to downsize to make room for FI moving in!  Finally I had to tell her thanks but no thanks on a couch, used clothes (that looked like 70 year old ladys wear), and several other pieces of furniture.  They have always been very warm and are happy to welcome me into the family.  His mom is sad by the fact that she has no daughters, and every time she makes a suggestion about the wedding, it is something I already have, or something we have already agreed to.  Like I told her about my tiara, and she mentioned that she already had one...and had I known that I would have been happy to wear hers instead of buying a new one.  she is a deal hunter and has tons of things like unity candles that she has horded for years, with the intention of her son's using at their weddings...and our contract says we have to use smokeless dripless candles, so I already had those, and told her I already had them, but she still tried to insist on us taking them just in case (we need 16 candles and I bought 2 dozen). 
    Anyway, she is sweet... :-)  I am more grateful for the inlaws I am getting than the MIL my FI is getting...my mom is crazy!!!!!!!
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