parent question

spunkygrl107

I need help with a parent issue.  My parents have done a lot for me, been extremely supportive and encouraging and have been there for me my entire life.  They are also helping me pay for a lot of the wedding and have been involved with the planning of it.  On the otherhand, my fiance had a very difficult childhood growing up and has only recently (past couple of years) reconnected with his mom and her side of the family.  While he is very happy to have them involved in his life now, (and they are making an effort to become more involved in his life now) they were not there for him while he was growing up and other than attending the wedding, they are otherwise not involved with it or paying for any of it.
So here is my question, I would really like to honor my parents at the wedding or give a special thanks to them for everything they have done for me; however, I'm not sure how to do this without making his parents feel excluded.  Suggestions please???

iamjoesgurl

The best thing for you to do (IMO) is to honor them privately.  If you are having a rehearsal dinner, would you be able to go to their home after and give them the gift?  I would stay away from a public display just so that you don't hurt your FI's family's feelings.  I think it will be as meaningful to them if it is done in private.

FutureMrsRyan

i agree with pp completely.  do it privately if you're worried about the feelings.

kkidd28

Would you feel comfortable just kind of thanking them when everyone is making their toasts etc at the rehearsal dinner?  Everyone is thanking everyone then, so it would be appropriate right?

FutureMrsMcDaniel

I agree with kkidd28. 

I am in the same situation as you, in terms of my parents are paying for everything and his parents are not paying for anything.  I don't feel like it is a snub to toast your parents during the reception.  It can be done tastefully too:

'I'd like to thank FI's parents for supporting us and being here today to celebrate with us.  I'd also like to thank my mom and dad for putting on such a wonderful wedding weekend.  I love you very much!'

I see nothing wrong with recognizing the person/people who helped you plan the wedding.  If I was your FI's parents, I would have no reason to feel snubbed. 

CourtneyBC

100% agree with FutureMrs!

lleavell

Also, if your parents' names appear on the invitations and his parents don't, it's understood that they are the hosts.  So I think as the guest(s) of honor, it would be fine for you to thank the hosts.

mahnkenc

You can totally thank them! Traditionally the brides parents pay for most of it anyways so its not abnormal to thank only the brides parents at the reception. I would also make them feel a little extra special by getting them a sentimental thank you gift and give it to them before the two of you leave the reception. Just make sure you include a really thoughtful letter or card and express most of your emotions there vs publically. So sweet of you to think of his family though!!