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Control freak, party of one

http://mommybeta.squarespace.com/blogs/2011/1/31/baby-mo-owners-manual.html

Dear god, I hope I didn't sound half this neurotic when I emailed Ethan's sitter instructions.

Also, hmo's baby mo is cuter than this one.


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Re: Control freak, party of one

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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    what the what.  i think my instructions would be "please do not kill or sell kthnxbai."
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    OMG.  This is a joke, right?

    "The cloth diapers function just like regular diapers except you don’t throw them away. Just don’t put them on too tight in case they cut off his circulation."

    If I trust someone to watch my kid, I have to believe that they have the minimal sense required not to cut off the kid's circulation.

    Also, I would be reluctant to watch someone's CDed kid long enough to have to wash the diapers myself.  I'd be on diapers.com so. fast.

    "No jarred food please!"  "Do not leave unattended or let plastic bag melt on saucepan."  "When washing him, clearly name the body parts that you are washing."  "If he is on the floor, please make sure he is not underneath a TV or other object that could fall near or on him."  I try to remember being at her stage, and I don't think even I was that bad.

    @ at "Download the Pandora app for your iPhone and get the Walt Disney children’s station."  B!tch, if I'm watching your kid I'll sing Katy Perry if I feel like it.
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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    This is the way I assume all parents thing and why I am always scared to even talk to a child I am not related too lest I do something wrong and get slapped with a lawsuit for helping a little girl pick up a dropped shoe after church.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow. She just goes on and on.

    I agree about her Baby Mo. Hmo's is far cuter.
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    L_WoodsL_Woods member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Clearly, neither her mother nor her mother-in-law was able to successfully raise a child on their own.

    Sidenote: I was taught that you raise an animal and rear a child, but I always feel really awkward typing that.
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    edited December 2011
    wtf did I read that whole freaking thing. At least now I'll know how to properly raise that random womans child, I guess. And I have to agree that he's a lesser baby mo. HMO's baby mo is the  REAL baby mo.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I am dying at him learning his body parts already.  Sure, the kid that can't yet eat normal food completely and totally knows where his nose is.
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    +candi++candi+ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, my instructions were much like hmo's. 

    Don't let the TV fall on the baby. WHAT?
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_control-freak-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:05f46af9-ea17-4075-b38c-c33c90d94279Post:f529a8ea-5b3e-4ffc-8109-c97f8632fa45">Re: Control freak, party of one</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, my instructions were much like hmo's.  <strong>Don't let the TV fall on the baby. WHAT?
    </strong>Posted by +candi+[/QUOTE]

    I literally snorted when I read that.

    I'm not being glib, it really sounds like the author has some sort of anxiety disorder.  I will admit to having a page of info when the Woozle was that age, but it was more like "If she's fussy, try taking her outside," not "Download Pandora for your iPhone so you can play Radio Disney for her and encourage her to vocalize."

    And L, I see your point, but having seen the results of MIL's parenting firsthand, there are some people I wouldn't trust with a kid, even if their own offspring managed to survive to adulthood.  In DH's case (who shot a hole in one of their kitchen chairs while playing with a gun that he <em>thought</em> was unloaded; who would pour gasoline on his Matchbox cars and light them on fire in the garage, etc.), reaching adulthood involved a good deal of luck, since there was precious little parenting going on.
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    +candi++candi+ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, I think if I had gone back to work at 6 weeks I think I might have had a ridiculous instruction sheet. I was battling some serious PPD/mood issues then and I did not think rationally at all. At 12 weeks I was much better, much more rational and knew that he would be FINE.

    This kid is like 6 months old. She needs to get over it a little.

    I mean, I am going to make Ethan's food but I wouldn't die if someone gave the kid some Gerber stuff, ya know?
    imageimage
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    L_WoodsL_Woods member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Heffa, I would agree with you if the last line of the post didn't say "not that mother or mother-in-law really need this" or something to that effect.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_control-freak-party-of-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:05f46af9-ea17-4075-b38c-c33c90d94279Post:7fbe0768-2dce-46c1-b682-48ecc24ab8d2">Re: Control freak, party of one</a>:
    [QUOTE]Heffa, I would agree with you if the last line of the post didn't say "not that mother or mother-in-law really need this" or something to that effect.
    Posted by L_Woods[/QUOTE]

    Good point.
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