Guest List Gripe!

kate5485

So i asked my FMIL for her list so that I can send out the Save the Dates. We are having a small wedding, with only blood relatives and close friends invited.  We had spoken about her list twice in the past, and I explained she could invite whoever she wants as long as she keeps it to the number I told her.  She gave me the list, and it has four extra people, over the allotted number.  I know its only 4, but since we are having such a small wedding, its impossible to accomodate these 4 extra people.  My fiance and I would have to cut 4 of our friends, so we could invite these 4 of FMIL's friends, which we both agreed we do not want to do.  I need some advice on how to firmly but politely tell her I need her to cut her list.  Obviously, the first two times we spoke, it didn't sink in.  So whats a polite way of saying "hey lady, you can't invite all your friends! Now drop 4 people or i'll do it for you"

Thanks!

Wzz

[QUOTE]So i asked my FMIL for her list so that I can send out the Save the Dates. We are having a small wedding, with only blood relatives and close friends invited.  [/QUOTE]

^^this

[QUOTE]We had spoken about her list twice in the past, and I explained she could <strong>invite whoever she wants</strong> as long as she keeps it to the number I told her.[/QUOTE]

contradicts ^^ this.


[QUOTE]She gave me the list, and it has four extra people, over the allotted number.  I know its only 4, but since we are having such a small wedding, its impossible to accomodate these 4 extra people.  [/QUOTE]

why did you tell her to invote whoever she wants if you cannot accomodate her people?


ANYWAY, i read that she has 4 extra people than you allowed. if your budget can;t accomodate them, then give have her son give her back the list and have her cut 4 people.

hmonkey

you can deal with this by saying, "i'm sorry, we cannot accomodate all of these people; we must keep it under X.  could you please take a look at your list and cut at least four?"

kate5485

Yeah well she and her husband are both only children, so there is no family on my fiance's side.  So i told her she could invite some friends (allotted at a certain number), so that its not like all my side of the family and she has no one.  I told her she could invite a certain number of whoever she wants.  Yeah, i guess i will have my fiance do the dirty worik.

kate5485

thanks. I guess i'm just looking for a pep talk, why do i feel scared about this?

*Barbie*

why isn't your FI managing this?

"mom, you need to keep your list to x or less. currently you are 4 over x. please let me know by (date/time) who you would like me to exclude, or i will just make that call on my own. thanks" 

kate5485

yeah we were trying to decide who should tell her.  He is fine with telling her, actually, he would revel in it.  I just thought maybe since i "asked" for the list, that I should "rebuff" said list. But whatev, i'll have him do the dirty work! Thanks for the quote...i sent it to him, it works perfectly

ReturnOfKuus

If it's that small, then why are you giving a guest her own guest list?  Why not just have your FI invite four more people that he wants to have there?

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_guest-list-gripe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0ce3bce0-8ce1-4585-b2be-5bb11058f6b2Post:d8b89624-0710-451f-bb15-967be53aa8e5">Re: Guest List Gripe!</a>:
[QUOTE]^^this contradicts ^^ this. why did you tell her to invote whoever she wants if you cannot accomodate her people? ANYWAY, i read that she has 4 extra people than you allowed. if your budget can;t accomodate them, then give have her son give her back the list and have her cut 4 people.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

zilla, she said to limit it to the #. I don't think the OP is wrong.


How about, "I know 4 people doesn't seem like much, but with such a small wedding, it makes a big difference. I'm afraid we need to ask you to remove 4 people from your list."

As this is your FI's mother, you can make him do the dirty work.