ceremony trouble

smatthews6

i want to have the wedding ceremony at my church and he wants it at his.  here's the pros and cons:
his                                           mine                                         
old-timy/out dated                   recently rebuilt/renovated
dark royal purple everywhere   blue decor (that complimentswedding colors)
small balcony space                larger balcony space
larger floor space                     medd-large floor space
wooden ben pews                    cushy blue chairs
no video avail.                         video screens to video tape and/or project pics
furthest travel dist. for guests    about 20min tops from airport, hotels,& family

the thought of having the wedding at his church bugs me terribly ot the point of when i think about it i usually have the expression of diisgust because i think our colors (blue and green) would look terrible in the wood-paneled church packed with purple.  both of our churches would be free to host a ceremony there but i think our ceremony pics will look bad.  and i can't go all "bridezilla" because it's not my personality and also beecasue he and i both aer paying for the wedding so his financial input entitles him to a vocal input'/decision as well.

our wedding is suppossed to be next july and we don't even know where it's gonna be! what do i do? advice?

missGrogan12

Do what me and my fiance did; have it outdoors.

It was too hard to choose which church to have it in, so we're having it at our favorite spot at his dad's house.

We're both big church people but we don't see it nesassary to have the ceremony in a church.

Hope this helps your decision! (:

6fsn

I kind of find it interesting that you don't mention anything about beliefs or the pastor.  Since that doesn't seem to matter go with the most convenient.

(and please don't subject your guests to a video montage.  That eliminates one point.)

Queen Jane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ceremony-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0f160b86-141f-44f9-9a80-7e14b652318aPost:f37ebff7-75c8-4b48-98ca-e7e3702f05f8">ceremony trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]i want to have the wedding ceremony at my church and he wants it at his.  here's the pros and cons: his                                           mine                                          old-timy/out dated                   recently rebuilt/renovated dark royal purple everywhere   blue decor (that complimentswedding colors) small balcony space                larger balcony space larger floor space                     medd-large floor space wooden ben pews                    cushy blue chairs no video avail.                         video screens to video tape and/or project pics furthest travel dist. for guests    about 20min tops from airport, hotels,& family the thought of having the wedding at his church bugs me terribly ot the point of when i think about it i usually have the expression of diisgust because i think our colors (blue and green) would look terrible in the wood-paneled church packed with purple.  both of our churches would be free to host a ceremony there but i think our ceremony pics will look bad.  and i can't go all "bridezilla" because it's not my personality and also beecasue he and i both aer paying for the wedding so <strong>his financial input entitles him to a vocal input'/decision as well</strong>. our wedding is suppossed to be next july and we don't even know where it's gonna be! what do i do? advice?
Posted by smatthews6[/QUOTE]

Doesn't the fact that he's one of the two people getting married entitle him to have a say in this decision? Geez.

afeliz79

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ceremony-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:0f160b86-141f-44f9-9a80-7e14b652318aPost:e9aadf28-bc7f-42c6-9aaf-9932605f5a10">Re: ceremony trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to ceremony trouble : Doesn't the fact that he's one of the two people getting married entitle him to have a say in this decision? Geez.
Posted by Queen Jane[/QUOTE]


This exactly!

Raeily

Um, basically everything on his is a con... I don't think that's how pros and cons work. 

I don't understand why you would feel "disgust" at the thought of having your wedding at your FI's church. If you love him wouldn't you want him to be happy too? At the cost of -Maybe- some color clashing. He's getting married too, it's his wedding too. 

If it is so big a problem get married outside like a PP suggested. 

A marriage is half about compromise. It's a good time to start.

smatthews6

ok this is all good advice...and from reading your responses i had to kid of check my self and ask is some of this hinting at a little "bridezilla" mentality.  And my answer was no because i do want his opinoin and i agree it's his special moment too because i'm not marrying myself but for whatever reason i feel like if i agree to having it at his church he'll be more than happy and i will be terribly sad wishing i didn't.  and i don't to feel that way on what's supposed to be one of the happiest days of our new life together.  the outside idea sounds like a good idea as a compromise but it's finicky because of weather and such.  also it will be a late July wedding and if next summer is anything like this summer has been in atlanta we can expect either HEAVY rainfall or 100+ degree temps.

missGrogan12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ceremony-trouble?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:0f160b86-141f-44f9-9a80-7e14b652318aPost:513b6553-d72f-4988-9ff5-631f9ea3fef7">Re: ceremony trouble</a>:
[QUOTE]ok this is all good advice...and from reading your responses i had to kid of check my self and ask is some of this hinting at a little "bridezilla" mentality.  And my answer was no because i do want his opinoin and i agree it's his special moment too because i'm not marrying myself but for whatever reason i feel like if i agree to having it at his church he'll be more than happy and i will be terribly sad wishing i didn't.  and i don't to feel that way on what's supposed to be one of the happiest days of our new life together.  the outside idea sounds like a good idea as a compromise but it's finicky because of weather and such.  also it will be a late July wedding and if next summer is anything like this summer has been in atlanta we can expect either HEAVY rainfall or 100+ degree temps.
Posted by smatthews6[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Then pick another church.</div><div>Like a family member's church that you BOTH like.</div><div>It doesn't really matter if either one of you have gone to the same church since you were born, it's really just the PEOPLE you've gone to church with.</div><div>The church is just a building, but the people are what matter most. Just invite the people and BOTH of your churches will be present.

</div>

Queen Jane

Wow you don't want your FI to be happier than you. That's special. Also, a church isn't a prop. You shouldn't be using one just because it matches your decor. If religion isn't important to you (which is fine, I'm not at all religious), get married outside like PP said. If it is however, important to your FI, you two need to have a long talk about it.