Wedding Woes

Oh Wonkette!

For you ladies tomorrow:You know what else went to Hell during eight long years of George W. Bush? The nation’s teen-aged girl children! Perhaps influenced by the ghetto trash Bush Twins, America’s gals reversed a decade of progress in the reduction of sex diseases and teen pregnancy. Oh, just kidding about Jenna and Barbara — this was actually the direct result of Bush Administration anti-sex-education policy. The Guardian reports: In a report that will surprise few of Bush’s critics on the issue, the Centers for Disease Control says years of falling rates of teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted disease infections under previous administrations were reversed or stalled in the Bush years. According to the CDC, birth rates among teenagers aged 15 or older had been in decline since 1991 but are up sharply in more than half of American states since 2005. The study also revealed that the number of teenage females with syphilis has risen by nearly half after a significant decrease while a two-decade fall in the gonorrhea infection rate is being reversed. The number of AIDS cases in adolescent boys has nearly doubled. Oh and guess where the increases in teen pregnancy, syphilis and AIDS were biggest? In the South! Jesus really doesn’t fucking care a bit, does He? So, congratulations once again to America, and to George W. Bush, and especially to Abstinence Training. Here is a clue about all that nonsense: Today’s hormone-charged boy has an easy way to know which girls will do anal on first hook-up: the ones wearing the Purity Rings.

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