Wedding Woes
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Kuus - the cheating story

I can't believe I forgot to tell you guys. It's f'd up. Before we got married, H cheated on me with the girl that ended up being his BF's (and best man's) wife. They hadn't started dating yet, but H knew his BF really liked this girl. H and BF's wife slept together many times, all the while H was telling me that he loved me, wanted to marry me, could never see himself with anyone but me, blah blah f'n blah. H and BF's wife eventually told H's BF what they had done. BF was of course, livid and demanded that H tell me (we were engaged by this time). H promised he would, but never did. H, BF and BF's wife all watched me walk down the aisle knowing that H had cheated many times, and not one of them had the courage to tell me the truth. H then apparently cheated on me several times throughout our marriage, including the time that he was deployed. He only had the "courage" to tell me the truth as the ink was literally still wet on our separation of property agreement that I just signed a week ago. And a reminder, this after he tried to kill my career when I started seeing someone new after we'd gotten a separation. He claimed I was cheating on him, knowing full well that we'd agreed it was ok to see other people. Oh the hypocrisy.
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Re: Kuus - the cheating story

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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    WOW. What a jack azz.
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    edited December 2011
    Good Lord. I'm sorry spos, that sucks.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I can't believe the actions of anyone in this story, except for you.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just disgusting.  Since you're military, can't he get reprimanded for cheating? Do you have enough proof? 
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Holy crap.  That's effed up.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Are the menfolk still friends?
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    edited December 2011
    Have you been tested?
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you been tested? <---- This.
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    edited December 2011
    Spos, tell me to STFU and MYOB but aside from the cheating (that you didn't know about at the time you wanted to separate) what was the catalyst for all of this?
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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I could definitely kill his career with this. But, honestly, I don't really feel like that would make me feel any better or teach him anything he hasn't already learned. He begged for me to take him back. Even when he told me about the cheating, he was still asking for me to give it another try. And I made it clear that regardless of the problems we already had, I could never be with a man I couldn't trust. So I hope the sex was worth it. He was sobbing and playing every guilt card he had. Didn't work. I'm done, he now realizes what he lost, and he knows there's nothing he can say or do to get me back. So ruining his career would just be out of spite. And I won't stoop to his level, regardless of how good it would feel.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I find there to be a lot of value in spite.
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    edited December 2011
    Spos you're one tough lady. I really admire you for taking the high road here. I can't say that I'd do the same.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no kidding, cw.  i'd burn this in gasoline on the national mall.
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    edited December 2011
    dude.  he deserves to EABOD.  that should end his career in the U.S. Military.
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    MizBiscuitMizBiscuit member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Holy hell. He is a jackass in the extreme.
    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh. my. god. You are handling this with so much grace and tact. I really don't think I'd have your courage in this situation.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I've always had the theory that the myth of the value of the high road was woven into society to prevent assbags from receiving retribution for their jackassery.
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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Menfolk are still friends. I did get tested - thank jeebus, i don't have anything. And the catalyst was me feeling like i was being smothered by him, being forced to either mommy him or have fights (and lose money since he couldn't do anything his dayum self), and feeling like I needed time away from him. By the time he got back from military training, I knew it was over. And that was before he told me about the cheating. But I always had a feeling he'd been unfaithful (with her in particular) and he's always convinced me I was paranoid, jealous, and insecure.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I can't believe that his idiot best friend is still friends with him.  What a group of icky douches.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are a bigger woman than I.  Especially since the MF'er tried to ruin your career...I would be all over sending this up the chain and see it all come crumbling down around him.  
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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lol re: spite Well, to be completely honest, I do take a certain glee in knowing that Bliz, Mr. Bliz and a few of our other friends who'd once been fairly close to him are now out for blood.
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    edited December 2011
    This guy is a real piece of work. Sucks you have to go through this, but you are awesome in the way you're dealing with the situation.  Is everything straight with your career now, is it safe?
    MIL is thrilled you're joining the family. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    *Candi**Candi* member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow. What a douche. You are much better off without a lifetime of that.
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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So far, my commander hasn't decided to pursue it. Thankfully I'd built a good rapport with them and they get a lot of positive feedback about my quality of work. But I definitely wouldn't say I'm in the clear. Technically, they can kick me out, take my pay, and take my clearance. So I'm still a little nervous.
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    ~~Busy.~~~~Busy.~~ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
      No one else is.  Don't protect him under the guise of it's out of being the bigger person.  Telling the truth and protecting your name and career is NOT SPITE.  Stand up for yourself with everything in your aresenal.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you're DD&D free (that would be... drug, disease, and douchebag free)
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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sadly Busy, I don't think dragging him under the bus with me would protect my career at all. I did tell them that we were separated and agreed to be able to see other people. But the military doesn't really care if you're separated or not.
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    ~~Busy.~~~~Busy.~~ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Understood but he cheated and therefore is also in violation.  Delaying the release of that information would make it appear as if you are lying for revenge.  Do you have proof?  Emails or anything with his confession if it came down to it?
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    edited December 2011
    Spos, you know how to reach us if you need an angry mob. I think I can find a couple of pitchforks and some torches.
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