Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion
Options

Had to postpone my wedding 1 week before.. Ruptured Appendix... So SAD Need ADVICE

Nikiwedding09Nikiwedding09 member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
I was set to be married on August 29, 2009... Was to be the happiest day of my life.... Then 1 Week before I had a ruptured appendix and spent 9 days including my wedding day in the hospital...  I am so very depressed I missed my wedding day as it was a gorgeous day with perfect weather.  Now I don't know what to do...  Rescheduling is posing a problem as my recovery time is 4-6 weeks which brings us into the dreary fall and winter months of November, december...  My father has been battling cancer for the last 5 years and we don't know how long he has left.  my fiance father just went in for emergency surgery 2 weeks before the wedding for a triple bypass.  Both our fathers are on the edge, where everyday is a blessing that they are still here...  We can't wait till next summer for fear of losing our loved ones before the wedding, but getting married in such a dreary month as november is not really what I had imagined...  I am so very depressed and feel like if I do reschedule the wedding, something else bad is going to happen and kill that one too...  I almost can't find it in me to reschedule and stick to a new date..  What can I do to releive the stress that my wedding day is not going to happen or if it does happen, that day is going to be dreary and cold, and nothing as it was supposed to be.I need some advice please, I have been waiting for my perfect wedding day for 14 years, and now it seems it will be anything but perfect...  Even my fiance is saying he is not excited about our wedding either, We are both scared its not going to be what we imagined it to be.  Advice please...  Depressed in Minnesota
Report Reply to Post

Re: Had to postpone my wedding 1 week before.. Ruptured Appendix... So SAD Need ADVICE

  • Options
    katorigasukikatorigasuki
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ok, you need to focus on the brightside here.you're NOT DEAD! now, what's more important to you, being married?  or the "perfect" wedding? everything else is just noise.  if you want to marry your FI, then just do it.  if you just want the perfect wedding, then you may want to rethink your marriage plans, because you ain't marriage material.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Future Mrs ButterworthFuture Mrs Butterworth member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You know, a) this isn't Dear Prudieb) I was gonna pick on you about calling November dreary until I saw you live in Minnesota. I'd have to say yes, it's probably going to be pretty dreary and icecold. However, if you get married inside what does it matter what it's like outside?Go ahead and get married. In 10 years you won't look back on your wedding and go, "Oh, it was so cold outside." You'll be thinking about the family and friends you shared it with.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jessjo04jessjo04 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This sounds like an actual woe. I agree that you should get married sooner rather than later. Its much more important who can be at your wedding than what the weather is like.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Which is more dreary?  November or not having one or both fathers there?  Your focus on the weather seems to indicate that you are more interested in throwing a party than actually getting married.
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I can understand being depressed.  You and your FI need to sit down and figure if you even want a full wedding at all.  There is nothing wrong with keeping it simple if you don't feel you can stick with your original plan.
    br>imageimage
    IF/Baby Blog
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers


    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Nikiwedding09Nikiwedding09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are very fortunate that all the vendors we have contracted with are holding our money to reschedule for another day... The only problem now is hoping they will all be available on the same day...  We have both decided to wait this long to get married so that we could have the wedding day we both wanted.  We both want the extravaggant affair as do our families, we are the only children in both our familys that will get married and both our families are so looking forward to it... After waiting this long, I can't imagine doing something so small and informal, but on the other hand my father being there means everything to me...  I think I will have to come to terms with a dreary November wedding but don't want to look back at my happy day and have any regrets.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Future Mrs ButterworthFuture Mrs Butterworth member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You'll be married and your family will be there. You won't have any regrets.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pegasuskatpegasuskat member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Getting married is the important thing. No matter the month you can't control the weather, you could pick a summer day in MN and have it turn out cool and dreary. I live in TN and got married in Nov. it was actually colder for us than normal, but I honestly didn't even really notice or care. If your wedding is indoors it will be great no matter what. Be happy your all alive at this point! My 25th anniv is this Nov. and if I hadn't thought about it would not have even remembered it was cold.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Nikiwedding09Nikiwedding09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OK Guys, your right, I had been focusing on my perfect day to much to remember whats really important here..  The most important thing here is my marriage to my FI.  I want more than anything to be married to him and be his wife, and have that marriage celebrated with the people who I love the most.  It seems very petty that I am worrying about the weather. stupid. Thanks for clearing my head and making me realize what is really important... I need to stop thinking about the "party" and focus on my marriage to the man I love. Thanks all, that's what I needed.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    fishgirl77fishgirl77 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First, I'm sorry you're going through the family medical issues that you are now.On to the practical stuff, since your vendors are open to rescheduling find out their availability for dates in say Nov. and Dec.  That will give you a more solid idea of what you're dealing with, which may lessen your anxiety.You do need to let go of the what-might-have-beens.  I have lots of moments that could have or should have turned out differently, and holding on to them never did anything for me but make me upset.  That's not useful.  You should focus on how to make your dream about the day your can have later this year.  You can only control so many things and how you view your wedding day is one of them.  If you view it negatively (the whole dreary day, it's not what we wanted thing), then you will not have a good day.  Check around the internet and the local Minnesota board for weddings that took place during those months.  I'm sure some are lovely.Trust me, I hated Minnesota during the winter so much that I left as soon as I could, but I'm sure can find a way to have a lovely day.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    katorigasukikatorigasuki
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    yay!  we helped someone! :-)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Cant_wait!Cant_wait!
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    gah, I'm sorry. What a mess. p.s. Novemeber is a beautiful month. Fall colors, pumpkins, pie. It's a great month and you'll always remember your wedding day as a beautiful day, no matter when it is :) good luck and keep us posted!
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Future Mrs ButterworthFuture Mrs Butterworth member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    CW, November in Minnesota is probably not so harvest-y
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards