Wedding Woes
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Interesting.. your thoughts, please?

A Case of the ExBefore the summer officially says goodbye, I’m taking you guys back to July, specifically the 15th week of my pregnancy. I had just come back from New Orleans, where I had met up with a few of my best friends for the Essence Music Festival. Given the fact I’m the last person in my college crew to have a kid, my girlfriends were too excited to see my baby bump. All weekend, we’d talked pregnancy, labor and real life after baby. We also took tons of pictures, so I wasn’t too surprised when one of my BFFs posted a Facebook pic of me chowing down on some Louisiana crab cakes. Her caption: “Eating for two!” I laughed, but then I thought maybe should I have her take it down because this was the unofficial announcement of my pregnancy to the outside world. As I was about to text her, the following email arrived: Date: July 9, 2009From: Ex-boyfriend circa 1994Subject: I don’t mean to be in your business…Message: But am I reading this caption correctly, are you expecting? For the record, these were not his exact words but it was definitely something this direct. I didn’t know how to respond. I was more shocked the word was out than his brashness. Me and my ex had no bad blood between us. We checked in with each other every few years, always over email, and the messages were always light and cordial. After shaking off the shock of how did he know, I felt the proper thing to do was answer truthfully. As I typed my response, I thought about adding “I apologize for not telling you sooner.” Then I thought, why am I apologizing? If he had a kid, would I be one of the first few people to know? I doubt it. Am I obligated to tell ex-boyfriends I’m with child? Before you ladies think I had a little black book full of dudes, my ex-boyfriend list is pretty short. I’m a monogamous gal and my serious relationships lasted about two years. If I went down memory lane, I’d have three guys to notify. Not a lot, but awkward conservations to have with men I was once close to and now who I communicated with only through email or text. Then my heart softened as I remembered I was once close to these guys. I had met their families, shared holidays, and spent hours hanging out before we realized we weren’t completely right for each other. I didn’t hate one of them and genuinely wished them well in their relationships. So why didn’t I think they’d wish the same for me? With that, I decided it was time to advance to the next level of maturity and call them with my good news. Each of them seemed happy for me, ex #2 said he’s thankful I told him myself. After I hung up leaving a message for ex #3 (hey, it’s not my fault he didn’t pick up), I breathed a heavy, “all done.”Weeks later, I’m glad I did it. My pregnancy is a blessing and I love sharing in its joy.  TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK: Did you tell your exes you were pregnant? Do you feel obligated to share your life’s major events with past loves?
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Re: Interesting.. your thoughts, please?

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    jojobrnjojobrn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hell no. We are exes for a reason. The only time I notified an ex of anything was to introduce my DH when he was my fiance to the ex I went to high school at at our reunion. And I only did that because all night long he and his wife kept staring at us.
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    LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Half of that reads like a Missy Flow book.and no, ex-BFs do not need to know the current status of your junkdrawer
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    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So - he can see her friend's pics on FB. And he read a caption. And he emailed to inquire if said caption was correct.I - don't know what the big deal is. How hard is it to reply, "Yes, and we're so excited!" and then graciously accept his congratulations? And no, you don't have to tell your exes you're pregnant. FFS, srsly? Unless they're still in the center of your social circle, it doesn't matter to them. And even then, they'll find out when everyone does. Do people not have anything better to think about?
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No way.  ::eyeroll:: My exes hardly know I'm married.
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