Wedding Woes

We didn't lie to the priest...

and he did not care at all that we lived together.  When he asked what the best part of our relationship was right now, I said that due to the fact we've been together for so long and have been through so much, we really know that we can stay together no matter what.  FI told him we are just formalizing what is already a reality for us by getting married.  He seemed to really like our answers.  The best part is that he said we don't have to do pre-Cana because we are traveling from NYC to CT to meet with him three more times between now and January, and adding another commitment would be too much.  He also told me since the church will be decorated for Easter at that point (we're getting married the weekend before Palm Sunday) I should save money and skip ordering flowers for the Church - sounds good to me!  Overall, it was a very successful meeting.  Beebee confession:  part of the reason I wanted to get married in this particular church is that my mother's mother was a member of the parish her entire life (she is now in a nursing home with severe dementia), and both my parents and my Mom's parents were married there.

Re: We didn't lie to the priest...

  • That's good news.  The Easter decorations saved us a ton of money too.  If you have anyone with a little pull with the decorating committee have them mention your colors.  It worked for us.
  • I'm shocked you can get married during Lent.And our pre-Cana was retarded, but really, we considered ourselves already married at that point, anyway. We didn't really need to have the discussions about money, or kids, or sex. We had it pretty well sorted.
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  • I'm glad to hear that it went well AND that you didn't lie to the priest.
  • We'll be doing two sessions of counseling with the priest, which will fulfill the requirement.  We just don't have to go to the all day session lead by a married couple.  Baconsmom, I think that's exactly why, in addition to the travel, he said we didn't have to go.  He actually said to us, "so you really do know each other very well and have decided to be together for the rest of your lives..."
  • He actually said to us, "so you really do know each other very well and have decided to be together for the rest of your lives..." Wouldnt that be most couples who get married? Is pre-cana only for people who dont know eachother and dont want to be together for the rest of their lives?
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  • No, jessjo, but I'm sure there are plenty of people who think they are ready to get married but haven't known each other that long and/or haven't discussed all of the important issues that come up over the course of a lifetime.  I'm sure from reading posts all over the knot, you've seen examples of this...
  • Jess, I would venture to say 80% of the people in our class had never discussed the big three - money, kids, or sex. Most had discussed at least one, but not all three. Add in other things like politics, future living arrangements, how much time is enough together, how to balance housework, how to decide whose inclinations (social butterflies vs. homebodies) would be honored - and you get people who really don't know each other that well. A lot of people were all starry-eyed and in lurve, but that's no basis for a marriage, IMO. My H and I discussed most of this stuff before we were even dating, so the class was really boring for us. The only super fun part was when they made us write love letters to each other at the end. Both of ours went something like, "This is boring. I'm hungry. Let's treat ourselves to dinner out for sitting through this. I hope Bacon wasn't horrible for the sitter." MFEO.
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