Wedding Woes
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Officiant

So my wedding is in May and we have everything booked...except an officiant. My fiance, Dave, is not Catholic, but I am. We are not getting married in a church, however my mother and grandmother are pressuring me to find a priest who will marry us. Dave is more spiritual than religious and does not believe in most of the Catholic practices. Here's my family's argument, if a priest does not marry us, then our future children cannot be baptised. I lean more towards Catholic beliefs, but I do not want  Dave to feel that I am forcing my beliefs on him as it is his wedding, too. Also, since we are not getting married in a church, I do not want a very holy ceremony. I want it to be more tailored to our needs. I am very close with my aunt, and she is willing to officiate our wedding, but again my mom and grandma do not like this idea. I don't know what to do. 

Re: Officiant

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    I thought priests couldn't marry outside the physical location of a church?

    What do you want for your ceremony and future children?  You can always have your marriage blessed aftewards, right?
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    You don't know what to do? 

    "No, that's not in our plans."
    "No, we're not doing that."
    "Let's talk about something else."

    I mean, it doesn't sound like you're on the fence, it sounds like you and your FI know what you want.  Don't have a ceremony that neither of you want just because someone else wants it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_officiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:15de8c51-3ea2-46a1-9b2d-81ddad13d986Post:6ba64c83-5daa-4809-8c13-c92fedb49363">Officiant</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my wedding is in May and we have everything booked...except an officiant. My fiance, Dave, is not Catholic, but I am. We are not getting married in a church, however my mother and grandmother are pressuring me to find a priest who will marry us. Dave is more spiritual than religious and does not believe in most of the Catholic practices. Here's my family's argument, if a priest does not marry us, then our future children cannot be baptised. I lean more towards Catholic beliefs, but I do not want  Dave to feel that I am forcing my beliefs on him as it is his wedding, too. Also, since we are not getting married in a church, I do not want a very holy ceremony. I want it to be more tailored to our needs. I am very close with my aunt, and she is willing to officiate our wedding, but again my mom and grandma do not like this idea. I don't know what to do. 
    Posted by JenniferC723[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ditto both V and Heffa. A priest might be allowed to come say a prayer or something, but unless you are married inside the physical walls of a Catholic church, then as far as the Church is concerned, you are not married. IDK the official position on baptisms, but it sure as heck seems like babies shouldn't be penalized (by not being baptized) for the sins of their parents. </div><div>
    </div><div>I'd be taking a much harder look at whether you will want to baptize your babies in the Catholic Church at all, since you only sortof lean that way and your children's father seems to have some negative opinions about the institution. And THEN I'd think about how you're going to raise them, religion-wise. Will you bring them to church? Which one? Send them to Catholic school? CCD if they don't go to Catholic school? </div><div>
    </div><div>These are all pretty big questions that your mother and grandmother should have NO say in whatsoever.

    </div>

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    You don't have to be married at all to have a baby baptized Catholic. I know; I baptized my adorable little bastard 3 years before I married her father. 

    The Church won't consider you married unless you're married by the Church: after going through all the pre-marriage stuff, after signing documentation about your religious practices now and in the future, after proving you've had your Sacraments, and after having a religious ceremony in a Catholic church. 

    Your family's nuts. Tell 'em to pound sand. 
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