Young Marriage Opinions?

Chelsea124

At 20, I often get the OMG response when I tell people I'm getting married. ("But you're so YOUNG!" or "what about school??" or even the occasional "is she pregnant?" when they think i'm out of earshot.)

I was just wondering what you guys think about young marriage.
What age qualifies someone to be "old enough" to get married?
Does it depend on age or "readiness"?
What do you consider "ready"? 
Would you assume a young bride to be pregnant when you hear about the wedding?
Do you assume they're going to quit school to settle down?
Say you were in a wedding dress shop, and the bride next to you looked 18-20, would you judge her?
Would you be suprised if vendors judged her?
Do you automatically assume the marriage won't last?

I'm just curious for opinions. Thanks ladies

TheDuckis

26
both
The kind of emotional maturity that doesn't exist yet in your early 20s.
Yes
Yes
Yes
No
Yes

6fsn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_young-marriage-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:166f9bff-74a2-43c2-8252-a587c626b3b3Post:5dea78b1-cf30-4936-be9a-4b23e39d7650">Young Marriage Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE] What age qualifies someone to be "old enough" to get married? <strong>25.  There are exceptions, but those are few and far between.
</strong>
Does it depend on age or "readiness"? <strong>The two are intermingled.  Some things are hard to be ready for until you are older.
</strong>
 What do you consider "ready"?  <strong>Out of school.  In a career.  Have a stable residence of their own.  understand themselves and don't need others to validate their marriage

</strong>Would you assume a young bride to be pregnant when you hear about the wedding? <strong>It would cross my mind.
</strong>
Do you assume they're going to quit school to settle down? <strong>No
</strong>
Say you were in a wedding dress shop, and the bride next to you looked 18-20, would you judge her?<strong>Yes
</strong>
 Would you be suprised if vendors judged her? <strong>No
</strong>
Do you automatically assume the marriage won't last?<strong> I assume they are going to have a rough go of it.</strong>
 
I'm just curious for opinions. Thanks ladies :)
Posted by Chelsea124[/QUOTE]

Heffalump

DNFTT

NFT

TY for the C&P, 6fsn

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_young-marriage-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:166f9bff-74a2-43c2-8252-a587c626b3b3Post:77c01d4d-46ed-4537-ab8b-d5f847b78cc3">Re: Young Marriage Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]DNFTT NFT TY for the C&P, 6fsn
Posted by Heffalump[/QUOTE]

Ah yeah...I thought the name looked familiar.

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_young-marriage-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:166f9bff-74a2-43c2-8252-a587c626b3b3Post:5dea78b1-cf30-4936-be9a-4b23e39d7650">Young Marriage Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]At 20, I often get the OMG response when I tell people I'm getting married. ("But you're so YOUNG!" or "what about school??" or even the occasional "is she pregnant?" when they think i'm out of earshot.)

 I was just wondering what you guys think about young marriage.<strong> Well, Beebee avenger, I think it depends on the individual. Some know who they are their whole lives, and never have to question their decision making. I got married young, divorced young, and had to grow up because of it. So even if a person does get married young, it doesn't make it a mistake, it may be a kick-you-in-the-ass learning experience. </strong>

 What age qualifies someone to be "old enough" to get married? <strong>I've heard it said that you should not make any life altering decisions before you are 28.</strong> 

Does it depend on age or "readiness"? What do you consider "ready"?<strong>That's really up to the individual. But a plan should definitely be in place. All the questions need to have been asked.
What about children?
 What about education?
 Do we know how much it takes to stay afloat?
Is that enough for us?
 Do we want more than enough?
 How do we get that?
Are we both honestly willing to put forth the effort to give ourselves the lives we want?
How does he feel about his role as a husband?
What does he feel is the role of a wife?
 What do I feel is the role of a husband?
What about my role as a wife?
Some personal goals and achievements need to have been met and also put in place as well as goals for your family. I'm not against the idea that two lives can be experienced together, but I am against the idea that two lives should be 100% wrapped up in each other without any individuality.  
</strong>
Would you assume a young bride to be pregnant when you hear about the wedding?<strong> It would depend on the individual. If I didn't know anything about her I would assume it was somewhere in her belief system to marry young. This was not the case for me, so there you go. Bias. </strong>

 Do you assume they're going to quit school to settle down?<strong> No</strong>

Say you were in a wedding dress shop, and the bride next to you looked 18-20, would you judge her?<strong> It would depend on ther demeanor. If she's down to earth and can manage to have a conversation without stomping her foot and throwing a tempertantrum then she's probably ok-ish.
 </strong>
Would you be suprised if vendors judged her? <strong>No. I assume that since people judge by nature they probably judge every person they deal with, not just the young ones. </strong>
Do you automatically assume the marriage won't last? <strong>I just hope they get whatever they are supposed to get out of it. I know a couple who has been happily married since they were 16, they're now nearing 40. They still hold hands and flirt. So who knows? </strong>

I'm just curious for opinions. Thanks ladies :)
Posted by Chelsea124[/QUOTE]

katorigasuki

I was just wondering what you guys think about young marriage.
It's not for everyone.  and by everyone i mean most people.

What age qualifies someone to be "old enough" to get married?
If you and your partner can support yourselves financially without help from mommy and daddy, then you're old enough to get married.

Does it depend on age or "readiness"?
there are 40 year olds that aren't "ready."  but more often than not, 20 year olds aren't ready either.
What do you consider "ready"?
Financially stable and emotionally mature.  which most 20 year olds are not.

Would you assume a young bride to be pregnant when you hear about the wedding?
Sometimes.

Do you assume they're going to quit school to settle down?
Yup.  and by "settle down" i mean "pop out babies in rapid succession."

Say you were in a wedding dress shop, and the bride next to you looked 18-20, would you judge her?
hell yeah.

Would you be suprised if vendors judged her?
not in the least.

Do you automatically assume the marriage won't last?
I don't give it that much of a chance.  you grow so much between 20 and 25, and often times your partner does not follow the same path of growth.  Some times it works.  but chances are both young people are not ready for what it takes to be married. 

Chelsea124

Thanks for the responses Duckis, 6fsn, Butter Cookie, and Katori.

I was just curious as to the opinions of the women on TK boards. thanks

Joyishlysmilish

What age qualifies someone to be "old enough" to get married? Legally 18 years old
Does it depend on age or "readiness"? Rediness all the way! I know some 18-20 year-old's that are way more mature (ready) to be married than some 30-year-olds I know!
What do you consider "ready"? I feel like in order to be ready to get married you need to be mature enough to take care of yourself. You need to know who you are, and especially who you want to be. You need to know you found the right guy without a doubt, and be willing to commit the rest of your life to him.
Would you assume a young bride to be pregnant when you hear about the wedding? It depends on the setting. Unfortunately, in many cases, yes. However, hearing about their year-plus long engagement, or knowing she's from my church tends to change that unfortunate presupposition.
Do you assume they're going to quit school to settle down? Oh my goodness no! I think it's a shame when girls drop out of school to be married! I know many people thought I was going to drop out when I got engaged, but I want to have something to do besides work at Wal*Mart when all of my children are in school!
Say you were in a wedding dress shop, and the bride next to you looked 18-20, would you judge her? Nope. She'd probablly look just like me :-)
Would you be suprised if vendors judged her? No, unfortunately. Vendors are meanie-butts!
Do you automatically assume the marriage won't last? Nope! This one is somewhat similar to the pregnancy one in my mind, in that it is more likely to change in different circumstances. But unfortunately many marriages don't last, and I know that a couple who gets married at 20 instead of living together for 5 years and then marrying at 25 is more likely to stay together.

I've been dealing with a lot of these same issues. It really stinks! Eventually, people either shut up or you learn to ignore them. Remember that nobody else knows you as well as you know you, and they have no right to judge your decisions! Live your own life, and try not to worry about everybody else too much. I know it's really tough, but it's worth a shot. If you can manage it even to a degree, you'll be happier for it!

Chelsea124

thanks that's the nicest response I've ever gotten on this website!