http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49232517.aspx The OP:
To give the full background of all the custody issues regarding SD would take 10 posts so I'll basically summarize and keep it as short and sweet as is possible. SD (2) is currently in the custody of BM's mother and DH and his family has visitation. BM is currently not involved at all, other than to pay her mother CS. DH signed guardianship to the grandmother so she could get SD on her medical insurance at the time and also make medical decisions should the need arise.
We are now expecting our first baby due in July and up until now DH has been seemingly content with the current arrangement. Recently however he has been talking about getting full custody of SD who has not lived with him since she was about 8 months old. Here is the concern: we have a 3 bedroom ranch style home, 2 of those bedrooms are currently in use one by us, one by an elderly relative who also lives with us for safety reasons, and the last will be the nursery, which is rather small and unrealistic for a crib, dresser and toddler bed to be fit into. My MIL and FIL agree that with all that is going on that right now is not the best time for him to try for custody and don't want him to rock the boat. I don't want to look like the evil witch that tells him this isn't the best idea. I am just very concerned with having a newborn and also trying to adjust a toddler to a new living situation will be very stressful to take on simualteneously.
He is acting pretty disinterested in anything baby supply wise and has complained about the crib and dresser set being too expensive (I am buying it from JCP so it's not like I am spending 1000's). Yet when it comes to potential legal fees he acts like that is not a concern at all, which it is, we honestly don't have a couple extra $1000 laying around to shell out on a custody dispute. When I bring this up he acts like I am being difficult when I'm not trying to be! I am just concerned about the financial aspects and the logistics. SD has been passed around a good bit in the past year and a half and she is currently in a good place with her grandmother. I guess what I am wondering is given the info is would you agree it would be better to wait until after our baby is born and a little older so she can share bunk beds (which would be the most logical set up for 2 kids in that room given the size). Otherwise DH suggested putting our baby in a pack n play in our room and letting SD have the whole other room to herself, which I don't think is fair to our baby to have to live out of a pack n play until she is big enough for a big kids bed.
*The post is too long to C+P the responses. But if this woman was standing in front of me, I'd smack the isht out of her.