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Um. (a C&P)

This is an excerpt from a thread on the relationships board:

"I got into a very serious relationship, and he was in one too, but we would run into one another every once in a while (we lived in a small town).  Both relationships ended within a month of eachother, and I made a promise to myself that the next guy I dated I was going to marry.  I was just sick of the whole dating game.  Fast forward about 5 months, he asked me to go for coffee.  A couple dates later, he asked me to be his GF.  I told him I had to think about it, and that I would get back to him.  2 days later, after much prayer and soul-searching, I knew he was the man I wanted to marry.  I told him I would be his GF, but he didn't know I already knew I would be his wife."


Does this seem all kinds of crazy to anyone else?
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Re: Um. (a C&P)

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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Meh.  It seems hindsight is 20/20 to me, and she made a story to go along.
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well she did two whole days of soul searching, what more do you want from her?
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can smell her desparation wafting through my monitor. 


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    edited December 2011
    This seems to be the standard level of crazy for women who have their minds made up that they are going to be married by age X.
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    MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    At least it didn't say, "after 2 days of banging my brains out with a random stranger"?

    I'm trying really hard to see a good thing in a bag of marbles.
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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like a great way to get yourself into a crappy marriage.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    SposatiSposati member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_um-cp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:1891dbcc-6f28-4e4d-a016-b43acd31a9c5Post:77067e37-5aa1-4e6c-a20d-8b5f203c1c85">Re: Um. (a C&P)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Meh.  It seems hindsight is 20/20 to me, and she made a story to go along.
    Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]

    O, that's what I'm thinking too.
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    " I made a promise to myself that the next guy I dated I was going to marry.  I was just sick of the whole dating game."

    Do people really get married because they're just tired of dating?  Sane people?
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_um-cp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1891dbcc-6f28-4e4d-a016-b43acd31a9c5Post:ac4becd0-6565-4288-a240-13929b695e81">Re: Um. (a C&P)</a>:
    [QUOTE]" I made a promise to myself that the next guy I dated I was going to marry.  I was just sick of the whole dating game." Do people really get married because they're just tired of dating?  Sane people?
    Posted by Heffalump[/QUOTE]
    Well, there is a sort of theory floating around that men get married when they want to be married, not because they've met a particularly spectacular person. Not that they don't love their wives, but that if the woman they're with when they're ready to settle down is decent, they'll marry her instead of waiting for someone "perfect".<div>
    </div><div>I think you can decide to marry someone pretty quickly after meeting them and have it be a perfectly wonderful relationship. But that assumes that you're going into marriage practically, not romantically, and you've already had all the important discussions with said person ahead of time. I knew my H would make a good H before we ever started dating. That wasn't desperation: that was because we'd already talked about leaving the state and how to discipline children and did he object to religion and what were his feelings on divorce, etc., etc.  </div>
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    "Well, there is a sort of theory floating around that men get married when they want to be married, not because they've met a particularly spectacular person. Not that they don't love their wives, but that if the woman they're with when they're ready to settle down is decent, they'll marry her instead of waiting for someone "perfect"."


    I have read this a few times, but I've seen absolutely no evidence of it.  It has always sounded to me like an excuse to stick around with a guy who is in meh with you and hope for marriage.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well, I thought to myself on our second date, This is the guy I'm going to marry.  I didn't love him or anything and I wasn't his girlfriend yet.  I also hadn't really had that thought about a guy before.

    So, I'd willing to give the benefit of the doubt that maybe she just didn't write out her thoughts well or something.
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    jcamm11jcamm11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_um-cp-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1891dbcc-6f28-4e4d-a016-b43acd31a9c5Post:b8b7611a-668f-47ee-a797-b4f7e21a2ad5">Um. (a C&P)</a>:
    [QUOTE] I made a promise to myself that the next guy I dated I was going to marry.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    What!?  This could've gotten really ugly Fatal Attraction style if he didn't feel the same way! 

    I too have heard of some men just deciding it's time to get married.  Actually, at my cousin's wedding, his best man made a joke in his specch that he and groom had a deep convo one day and the groom said he just really felt like it was time to settle down and start a family - so he headed down to the local high school (the former part being true, the later part being the joke; B&G were like 18 and 24 when they started dating).

    I also dated a guy once who admitted he was wife shopping because 'it was time'.  I think it happens, but I definitely wouldn't say all men do this.  FI was not looking to get married ever again or even be in another serious relationship when we met.  I wouldn't necessarily say one way is better than the other, but at least I know FI picked me for me and not because getting married just made sense to do at the time.
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