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judgey judgey here

About 4 years ago sFIL had gastric bypass.  He got off most of his meds, his diabetes went away, and he had a tummy tuck.

I was e-mailing MIL about the gestational diabetes and meeting a dietician next week.  She said they are meeting a dietician too.  sFIL's diabetes is back and out of control.  I know he had to get some bigger sized clothes at Christmas.  They are also starting Weight Watchers next week.

It makes me sad (and judgey) that he went through something as extreme as 2 surgeries and still can't take care of his body.  I wish they would have tried the WW before the surgery. 

Re: judgey judgey here

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited December 2011
    That's too bad, but so common.  So many people I've worked with have had bariatric surgery only to put the weight back on 2, 5, or 10 years later.   I know of 2-3 people that have successfully kept the weight off so far.

    I hope he can get back on track.  

    And I'd be judging the hell out of him too. 

    I judge my FIL for mismanaging his diabetes.  He talks about it all the time.  It makes me crazy because he's heading for insulin dependency.

    It's hard for me to bite my tongue as I'm the daughter of a Type 1 diabetic who's done everything he can to maintain his health to the best of his ability.  I want to scream at my FIL for being so damn stupid.
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    6fsn6fsn member
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    edited December 2011
    I can only imagine how hard it would be not to say something.  MIL's mom does the swim for diabetes every year in honor of sFIL.  I want to scream "Why should you care more than him!"  She's 83 and swims a mile for HIS CONTROLLABLE diabetes.  He won't even get out of the recliner to fix his own plate.

    I do hope the WW educates them on food and such.  They seem to have a lot of misconceptions.  Which is especially funny because MIL likes to be the know-it-all health and phys ed teacher.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    edited December 2011
    Y'know, I know it's frustrating.  But relationship with food is something that is really hard to control.  I've been thinking about this a lot b/c of my own weight loss and a friend who is still struggling (and will always) with anorexia bulimia.  I tend to fall more on a sympathetic side anymore.

    It's not like drugs.  Drugs be it illicit drugs, cigarettes, alcohol....they're extra.  You can stop doing them, remove yourself from environments and deal with the addiction away from them.  But you can't remove yourself from food.  You need it, it's not just an addition you need, you actually require it in your life.  So, you have completely jacked up, unhealthy relationship with something in your life that you simply cannot get rid of.  It's hard and there are bound to be mishaps all along the way all throughout life.

    And just b/c you were successful this time, doesn't mean you can always be successful for the rest of your life.  Sometimes, I get so tired of being vigilant about "Well this one pound today doesn't matter, b/c I had this splurge, but now I have to be extra careful for the next few days" but that's how my relationship with my weight has to be to be healthy.  B/c I'd rather eat (in general) lots of weightly carbs and fats....kinda like most people.  But my body likes to store it up and use it in unhealthy manners.

    I won't deny there are personal issues like exercising right and choosing right foods.  But it can be hard to have that willpower, especially if you feel like you fought the good fight and then ended back up where you started.
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    6fsn6fsn member
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    edited December 2011
    I get exactly what you are saying V.  I really do.  On the flip side, would you eat 4 ears of corn for dinner and think it was healthy?  And that the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter you slathered on has no impact?  That's why I hope the WW helps them learn. 
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm not saying I would, but I could.  That's really the difference y'know?  Hopefully, having an actual meal plan will help him.
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    edited December 2011
    I have more and more hangups w/ the bypass...
    MIL had it.
    It affects her nutrient absorption which is swell now that she has all these OTHER health issues...
    Of course, if she hadn't had the BP surgery, I"m failry sure the docs would be telling her she had the issues bc. she was a fatty.  So it's nto like there's a winning option here.

    I will say, my ED is under control...has been for years.
    There are still times when I fight it daily.  I'm headed into a bout of that right now for a bunch of reasons.  I hate that I have to put the bathroom scale away again because I can't control it w/o it controlling me.
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    6fsn6fsn member
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    edited December 2011
    V- the big point is MIL and sFIL think the 4 ears of corn slathered in ICBINB is healthy.  It's not an "oooh this is so good I can't stop." 

    I think a lot of people go into the surgery thinking it's going to cure everything and they won't need to work.  He was one of them.  Up to the day of the surgery he was eating everything he could.  There were lots of attempts at quick fixes (Atkins, etc) but nothing addressing the mental aspect.

    GB- I'm sorry you are strugglng right now.  You know everyone is here to listen.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_judgey-judgey-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:18a44fdc-394e-4f65-a009-a968fd08b92aPost:f25c89bd-bdf3-4b8f-8827-1c47ea7177bc">Re: judgey judgey here</a>:
    [QUOTE] I think a lot of people go into the surgery thinking it's going to cure everything and they won't need to work.  He was one of them.  Up to the day of the surgery he was eating everything he could.  There were lots of attempts at quick fixes (Atkins, etc) but nothing addressing the mental aspect
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]


    Ding, ding, ding.  The people that I know who've been most successful are the people who've received counseling along with the surgery and/or were in counseling beforehand.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    GB-Take care of yourself lady.  We're all definitely here for you. 

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