Four months to go and it's just not right

mitzirene

Hi Ladies,

So i've reached my four month mark and the planning is coming along just fine, but...

I have an overwhelming feeling that the wedding is getting bigger than what I really want and it's loosing everything I feel is important.  From the guest list (now at 150) to the food selections, it's just too much.  Most importantly, i feel as though all this planning is more about a big fancy party rather than celebrating the love and union of me and my FI.  He feels the same way.

I haven't sent out the invitations, but I have sent save the dates.  What I really want to do is re-group before it's too late and make sure only those who truely know how special this wedding really is...are in attendance.  The guest list would be cut in half and I'm sure I would upset many people. 

Is it too late?  Am I just overreacting? How do I tell my save the date recipients that they won't be getting invited after all?  OMG, that is so tacky!  But it's my day, right?  It should be what I want.

hmonkey

not sending an invite to people who were sent an std is very tacky.

only wanting people who know how "truly special" your wedding is is unrealistic.

klm03013

Unfortunately, unless you cancel the wedding all together, I think you are stuck with the guest list you have at this point.

saric83

I would be so offended if I received a save the date, and then wasn't invited afterall.  There is just absolutely no way to go about that without it being incredibly rude unless you cancel the entire day and just elope or something.

Instead, start looking for ways to scale back your plans for the day.  If all you've sent out on the save-the-dates is a date listed, then maybe start looking for a more casual venue or maybe even an early morning and brunch/lunch reception.  Sit down with FI and make a list of the top five things you want the day to include and make sure that happens!  Kudos to you guys for realizing that things are getting out of hand, but I think you still have a lot of time to re-focus everything without un-inviting people. 

Good luck! : )