Not excited enough??

TashaLauree

I am getting married at the end of March after an 8 month engagement.  The wedding planning process has been kinda stressful, we are paying for it ourselves, as well as doing many things for the wedding ourselves.  My fiance has been wonderful at helping plan everything, he is just as involved as I am.  I also have my mother helping with some things, and we are expecing a few relatives to pitch in for set up the day of.  That is all wonderul.  I am looking forward to getting married.  My fiance is a wonderful man, and I knew shortly after the first date that he was the one.  He is getting married a bit late in life (he is 40, I'm 27) and was sure of it as well.  However, as happy as I am about all of it, I am finding it a bit difficult to get that very excited feeling that seems to gush out of every bride to be.  We both work full time, I have a health condition that leaves me fatigued quite frequently, I also have had some stressors from family health and money issues so I haven't been 100% single minded focused on wedding everyday since the engagement.  I also can't really afford to do any of those pampering things you read about, like spa days and splurging on expensive makeup, jewlery, accessories and what not.  I don't have any close girlfriends, and most of my family lives on the other coast, so we didn't have an engagement party and I am not having a bachelorette party nor a bridal shower.  I know that some of those things might contribute to a bit of my blues.  I can't help but wonder why I am not getting ridiculously excited.

NeedWeddingFavors

Hopefully you are very excited about marrying your FI, everything else is secondary...

Amt2109

To be honest with you, I was the same way. I didn't gush excitedness... well, its not really in my nature anyway. I'm not a screamer, or a crier. But it was stressful with immigration stuff (I'm English, he's American), and only my mum was able to travel for the wedding on my side.

I was dealing with wedding stuff at the same time as leaving all my family and moving to a new country and it was a difficult time for me. Still is sometimes... homesickness kicked in for me big time around Christmas.

I would see if your mom could visit you maybe for some things... schedule a few appointments in the time she's there so you get someone to help you be excited... dress shopping, picking out flowers... things like that. If not your mom, then someone else you're close to. I think it would help you.

But in the end... as long as you're excited to marry your FI... ridiculously excited about the details... the day... the fluff... isn't necessary. Is it even in your nature to be that way?

[Deleted User]

I'm recently engaged and I've been more stressed than excited... and it's in my nature to be overly excited about things, especially weddings!  If it's not in your nature to be overly excited, then I wouldn't worry about it so much.  Also, the amount of stress planning/paying for a wedding can really put a damper on any pre-wedding excitement!  Hang in there!!

As for Amt2109:  I know how you feel.  I'm American, my FI is German.... I've been living in Germany for a year and I get homesick... but right now we can't even decide which country to have the wedding!  Which is the main reason I'm not excited

MiLadyK

I have many similar things (we're both in our 30s, both work full time, I'm recovering from Epstien Barr, we're working on buying a house, etc, etc) and I understand not being screamigly excited.

I'm very much looking forward to a nice evening with my favorite people and I think it will be lovely. But FI and I have been best friends for over a decade and dating for 4 years, living together for 3. We're adults. This isn't the biggest most specialest day ever with sparkles! This is the next step in our relationship.

I do get humbled and delighted when I run into some of the really lovely parts fo planning. I've enjoyed sending out invitations to our friends and family and hearing how happy people are to join us for the ceremony. I've been blown away by how many of our (admittedly small) guest list are making it a prirotiy to come. My crafty side has liked planning and making favors and my philosophical self has delighted in working out a meaningful simple little ceremony. I have loved how well FI and I work together and how much we agree on for the wedding. 

We dont' fight much to begin with, but our priorities on other things aren't always aligned, a lot of other life decisions involve a lot of discussion and analysis. Many of the wedding decisions have been made by conversations like  "What should we do about X?" I was thinking Y." "That's perfect" or "So was I." Its been very easy to get apicture of what we want. Making it relaity is a bit more complex, but knowing that we want the same things makes that easier. 

MiLadyK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_not-excited-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19aa6d7d-5255-4f0c-9e42-76a640c23454Post:063ff1b6-562e-41c7-bf5a-31e13daf5a04">Re: Not excited enough??</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm American, my FI is German.... I've been living in Germany for a year and I get homesick... but right now we can't even decide which country to have the wedding!  Which is the main reason I'm not excited :(
Posted by ahope108[/QUOTE]

<div>My vote is for Caymans. In all seriousness, with the families that spread out, unless you have your heart set on a big church wedding, seriously consider a destination wedding. The people who really want to be there will find a way (or you can spend some of your budget making sure they get there) and everyone is equally annoyed by travel and guarenteed to have a good time. </div>

Sydney91

I havn't gushed yet. Don't worry about it.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_not-excited-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19aa6d7d-5255-4f0c-9e42-76a640c23454Post:eacb0d66-1bb6-423c-a9bb-0698ec76b901">Re: Not excited enough??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not excited enough?? : My vote is for Caymans. In all seriousness, with the families that spread out, unless you have your heart set on a big church wedding, seriously consider a destination wedding. The people who really want to be there will find a way (or you can spend some of your budget making sure they get there) and everyone is equally annoyed by travel and guarenteed to have a good time. 
Posted by MiLadyK[/QUOTE]


We've seriously considered a destination wedding, but I've had my heart set on getting married on my family farm since I was a little girl.  It's over 300 acres with a pond and a weeping willow tree... my favorite place to be on this planet :)