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Invite "Friend" of Groom? kinda long... sorry

My fiance has a friend, Scott, that he has been friends with since high school. Now let me tell you how I know Scott. Scott and I dated for a month at the end of 2008. My fiance (or Scott's friend at the time) ended up telling me that Scott was dating 2 or 3 other girls at the same time. Eventually, his ex also brought the situation to my attention to where he was playing her too. After I ended things with Scott, my fiance and I started dating.

For almost 6 months, Scott would not talk to my fiance at all. Eventually they became friends again, but they're still not that close. Scott is very cocky, and has even grabbed my butt in the bar (luckily my fiance stood up for me) and has even told me that my degree is pointless (he doesn't have a college education so I don't see how he has room to talk). My fiance has also not invited him to things where the rest of "the group" has been.

So here's my issue: After aggreeing with me about not inviting Scott to the wedding, my fiance has now changed his mind and wants him there. I've tried to explain to my fiance how I feel, but he really wants Scott there. So do you guys think Scott should be invited? I've also told my fiance that if he comes then my parents are not paying for him and he can not bring a guest. Do you think that's ok? Also, my furture MIL at first said that Scott should not be invited, but now she's just telling my fiance that she doesn't understand, but it's up to him who he invites. HELP!

Re: Invite "Friend" of Groom? kinda long... sorry

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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Tell your FI that you can't promise you won't bone Scott in the bathroom at the reception, last minute jitters and all.
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    PrincesaKim28PrincesaKim28 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Haha... unfortunately, my fiance knows all about my hatred for Scott so he'll just call my bluff.
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why in the name of all that is crumbly and delicious are you still friends with this creep? His character isn't even questionable. It's just sucky. He cheats on women, makes unwanted advances at friends girlfriends, has belittled you - I guess i'm not seeing what is so great about this guy that either of you want to be friends with him, much less have him at your wedding, where you will be paying $X for him to attend - and what? Judge you both? Get 10 sheets to the wind and tell everybody he "hit that" before the groom? Your fiance is being too nice or too stupid.
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I <3 Kuus.

    Seriously though, I don't think he should be invited either and I think your FI should respect that.   But if he were invited, would he even want to come?

    Also, this:
    Scott is very cocky, and has even grabbed my butt in the bar (luckily my fiance stood up for me)

    does not compute for me.    Why did your fiance need to stand up for you?  Can't you stand up for yourself?
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Wait, I'm sorry, I'm still hung up on you dating a guy for a month and expecting him to not be dating other people, too. I just - I - buh? I dated three or four other guys the first month my husband expressed interest in me. Why wouldn't I? Why is this a problem you needed to be "informed" of? 

    And yeah, Scott's a jerk, whatever. It's a wedding. You know how many other people will be there? A lot. You won't notice him. Your husband won't even notice him - but he will notice the fight you're having now about how you hate his friends and you're deciding whom he can and cannot associate with. 

    TL;DR: This is not a hill to die on. Send the guy an invitation. 
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_invite-friend-of-groom-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1a893cf2-e092-4ea4-b197-897778d21c1bPost:807c4046-0388-453e-80d1-48c39edbc075">Invite "Friend" of Groom? kinda long... sorry</a>:<div>
    </div><div>Just because I don't trust anyone anymore. </div><div>
    [QUOTE]My fiance has a friend, Scott, that he has been friends with since high school. Now let me tell you how I know Scott. Scott and I dated for a month at the end of 2008. My fiance (or Scott's friend at the time) ended up telling me that Scott was dating 2 or 3 other girls at the same time. Eventually, his ex also brought the situation to my attention to where he was playing her too. After I ended things with Scott, my fiance and I started dating. For almost 6 months, Scott would not talk to my fiance at all. Eventually they became friends again, but they're still not that close. Scott is very cocky, and has even grabbed my butt in the bar (luckily my fiance stood up for me) and has even told me that my degree is pointless (he doesn't have a college education so I don't see how he has room to talk). My fiance has also not invited him to things where the rest of "the group" has been. So here's my issue: After aggreeing with me about not inviting Scott to the wedding, my fiance has now changed his mind and wants him there. I've tried to explain to my fiance how I feel, but he really wants Scott there. So do you guys think Scott should be invited? I've also told my fiance that if he comes then my parents are not paying for him and he can not bring a guest. Do you think that's ok? Also, my furture MIL at first said that Scott should not be invited, but now she's just telling my fiance that she doesn't understand, but it's up to him who he invites. HELP!
    Posted by PrincesaKim28[/QUOTE]

    </div>
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
     has even told me that my degree is pointless (he doesn't have a college education so I don't see how he has room to talk).

    What is your degree in?   Maybe it is pointless.  Just saying.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Really, Baconsmom?  I thought that only happened in Sweet Valley High, and only then if you were Jessica.  Pretty much everyone I know dates one person at a time, from the get-go. 
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Well, maybe it's the definition of dating? I mean literally that - I was going on dates, like out to dinner or bowling, with several different guys. I wasn't sleeping with all of them - wasn't even really making out with them - but I was seeing them in a romantic context. 

    I do have to say, it was a strange boom-time in my love life. And that H was still tied up with the ex, so I felt I had no reason to sit around pining for him. But I didn't see anything wrong with trying these guys on. 
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Huh.  I always went out on A date with a guy, decided that I either liked him enough to continue or not enough to stop looking (and therefore not enough to bother), and went from there.
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm thinking your fiance doesn't want to invite Scott out of friendship, but more out of some weird competition or something. I'd just stick with a firm "no."
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    PrincesaKim28PrincesaKim28 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    One of my fiance's excuses is that inviting Scott is more of a "F you" to him, but I think it would be more of an "F you" to not invite him. Scott never thought that my fiance and I would get this far... he basically thought that we would date a little and then end.

    And I understand what some of you are saying about being able to date more than one person at a time, but personally, I feel that you go on a couple dates to see if you are compatible or not. I would think that after dating for a month (going out every weekend and meeting friends) then you would have weeded the others out by then.

    Also, my degree is in criminal justice, and I do work in the field so I don't think it's as pointless as he thinks.

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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I guess the real question here is why he thinks your wedding is the appropriate forum for a f*ck you to Scott, more so than being about the bride and groom celebrating something happy.  I think I'd be pretty pissed if that were my FI's focus on the day he marries me, but that's just me.
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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So I was right, and your FI is kindof an ass.
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_invite-friend-of-groom-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:1a893cf2-e092-4ea4-b197-897778d21c1bPost:2e9ddaa2-11ff-4c03-b178-1fed7a213dfd">Re: Invite "Friend" of Groom? kinda long... sorry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess the real question here is why he thinks your wedding is the appropriate forum for a f*ck you to Scott, more so than being about the bride and groom celebrating something happy.  I think I'd be pretty pissed if that were my FI's focus on the day he marries me, but that's just me.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    This.

    One other thought: You'll be paying how miuch for this guy to eat and drink on your dime, and yet somehow your FI thinks that's an f-u? Not only is the wedding not an appropriate venue for that kind of high school b.s., but your FI has definitely not thought this through.
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oh man, I am so glad I'm not the only cheap bastard thinking of how much it would cost to feed the guy.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I so think you should invite Scott and play Cee-Lo's "F*ck You" and dedicate it to him. 

    Or not. 

    I agree with TD, your FI is an ass.  Why does he have to 'prove' anything to anyone? 

    The last person I know of who had to 'prove' something to someone was 10 and he drank 10 cups of sprite and 3 bags of popcorn and then puked his guts up.

    Also, I'm with Bmom...I was juggling 3-4 guys at one time for a couple months way back in the day.  I wasn't sleeping with all of them (just one), but we were definitely not 'just friends'.

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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, Mrs.Conn, did I miss a kiddo story? I don't know if I'd be more annoyed or amused if my kid did that.
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