Well, THAT didn't go well.

DG1

No actual salary negotiations. Since our last meeting (approximately 7 business days ago), he's gotten negative feedback about me from 2 different clients.  Several times he said, "this is not a meeting about letting you go, but we really need to X, Y, and Z."  

I basically have until 9:30 tomorrow morning to decide whether to keep my fancy job or go back to contract work, which he says he'd be happy to do with me.  

Right now, I'm trying not to be that person who cries at work.  I'm wrapping up one thing, then leaving. (It is 4:41 here - totally within the realm of normal for my departure to do daycare pickup.)

I really have been trying, but I guess it still isn't good enough.

That's what I get for wearing a pink shirt today, I guess.  

zsazsa-stl

Gah!  Not good.  Were the complaints valid?  Like you know you coulda/shoulda done something different?  Or were these assy clients trying to negotiate a bill?

Either way, it sucks. 

::wise decision-making vibes::

6fsn

I'm very sorry. 

TheDuckis

Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry. I have the same questions as zsa. How valid was this negative feedback?

DG1

It's a lot of things, I think.  These 2 clients, in particular, were unhappy in part because they weren't hearing what they wanted to hear.  My job is to conduct experiments and report the results. I really can't control the results themselves without violating professional ethics.  (There are no actual penalties for that, like if I were a member of the bar or something, but it's still just skeevy and bad form.)

On the other hand, I do have this ridiculous history of "not being relatable" and "being harsh." Not unlike my knot persona, but way way way WAY more mild. But I am a very bad liar, which also makes me a bad employee, I guess.  One client could tell I was pissed at them (for changing our experimental protocol THIRTY SECONDS before a session was supposed to start). Boss called that "nearly dismissal-worthy by itself."  OK. I get that clients shouldn't see your true feelings, especially if they're bad. I know I have a horrible poker face, and it's bitten me in the ass before.  But there was no malice involved, and the client was happy at the end, so I don't see that as dismissal-worthy. 

Anyway, I know I need to fix that, but I'll be damned if I know how, since I've clearly been trying and failing to do so for several years now.

Really, Boss wants someone "visionary."   I told him I couldn't be "visionary" if I was also doing grunt work 40+ hours/week.  He just keeps saying I need to carve out 5-10 hours to be strategic and visionary.  This does not keep him from scheduling 40+ hours of non-visionary work into my schedule. 

I do think my initial response was relief, which was telling.  And, like I said before the meeting, I did have one foot out the door anyway.  It still just sucks, and mostly because I don't know what I did wrong, really, if anything (not just these 2 instances, but longer-term to make me seem "unvisionary") or how to fix it.

So, I guess I go back to contract work. At least that way I can actually "hang out my shingle," as it were, for actual consulting gigs. Last time I did that, I got 3 unsolicited requests in the first few months alone, without putting much effort into it.

I'm talking with my mentor to figure out what rate to bill for the hourly consulting (I've kindof got him by the short and curlies for the short-term, and long-term, I'm pretty confident he'll dump me anyway, so I'm planning to ask for a lot of money.) and whether to refer a colleague for my position. (I think NOLA woiuld tell me to refer him, so I guess I should do that.)

Your thoughts and opinions would be most appreciated, really.

TheDuckis

Honestly, your boss seems like a douche. Obviously I'm not the most professionally successful person here, so take this for what you will. But unless you cussed out the client, calling being annoyed with a client a "dismissal-worthy-offense" is laughable.

If I were you, and I were feeling generous, I'd go in tomorrow and explain exactly why you acted the way you did that earned those complaints, and give him a chance to agree with you. If it's because you're trying to maintain professional integrity and he still thinks it's "dismissal worthy," then f him.

But if you can afford to go it alone, and/or you don't feel like working past your anger, just put in your notice.

GBCK

I"m w/ TD on your boss sounding like an azz

nicoleg1982

I can see your boss' position here.  I understand, too, that you are often put in a difficult situation.  

I think most of this lies on you, though, and it sounds like you need to work on your people skills.  Unfortunately, the customer will always be "right" to your boss.  I'm not saying you should devitate from true data/results to give the client the results they want, but maybe you should be more clear about your process, the various outcomes and how you actually perform your work.  And be explicitly clear with the client that you are not willing to alter the facts to produce the results they seek.

Perhaps you should reevaluate your time management skills.  IDK what your life/work schedule is like, but it seems like you spend a lot of time spinning your wheels at the most inopportune times.  Maybe you have too much work or maybe you don't know how to effectively manage the work you have.  IDK.  I'm just saying it seems like there is a lot of down time on your hands that you could be devoting to your work.  If I ever say I'm swamped at work, I definitely expect someone to say, "Well quit knotting/shopping/researching/reading, moron."  Or maybe you're doing so much at home that you're focused on that during the day.

Like I said, IDK WTF you have going on in life and how you're managing it all.  I have a desk job that is as laid back or stressful as I make it, and am fortunate enough to have a child that sleeps.  I'm not you and I'm not trying to say you should do X Y or Z to do things "right."  I just think every complaint is colored with a broad stroke of truth.  I'm hoping that if you go back to contracting you can be more selective and more attentive to the jobs you do take, and generate work product you are proud of without trying to please a boss or unrealistic client.

NOLABridesmaid

I think you should listen to the whisper, and bounce. This isn't the place for you, and I have a feeling many unexpected doors will open once you aren't there full time.

You are right, I would suggest someone for your position.

*Barbie*

i totally understand what you're saying in regards to being strategic and visionary when faced with too much grunt work. At the time i started in my new role, many people were laid off, which left us will essentially 0 administrators and a ton of transactional work that wasn't being done (correctly or at all). I've had to suck it up and take on some of this work; while my review is not based on it, if it's not done, it impacts the big picture, which impacts me.

I have had multiple conversations with my bosses on how to get back to more strategic work, and have taken on more projects (which is what I really enjoy). I have offered some suggestions and work process improvements that should increase efficiency and reduce the amount of transactional work that i see - if you decide to stay, this is something you may want to try.

Have you ever looked into a class on dealing with difficult people or voice of the customer (VOC)? I'm just starting my six sigma GBPL certification, and have a VOC elective. If you're in a market-facing role, and interacting with customers or stakeholders on a regular basis, this may be something useful - even as a contractor.

InksWell

I HATED the "visionary" crap when I worked for a larger company. What they want you to do 40 hours of what your told to do, and then spend 5-10 hours imagining more things for yourself to do? No.

Boo for your azzhat boss who seems to have borderline religious reverence for your almighty company.

DG1

To be fair, he's also the founder, president, and CEO. So I can get his religious reverence for the company.  I don't get why he doesn't understand my lack of religious reverence for the company. (Though his other pet employees have drank the kool aid. I am too old for that sht.)

And Nicole, you're right. While I can explain these specific instances, it comes up way too often for me to be able to say it doesn't have anything to do with me.  I'm not a people person. It's not shocking that I have so few IRL friends. Geography is part of that, but that can't be all of it, either.  And yes, my time management sucks. Not just with knotting (though that certainly counts), but just in general. I can't focus at all most of the time. Remember last summer I went to the doc looking for ADD meds? And he said I didn't have ADD?  So I guess I just don't know how to address either of these issues, really.  I do know I'm tired of working really hard and stressing a lot and not getting anywhere.

Thanks for the recommendations, Barbie.  DH is Green Belt-certified. Maybe he can shed some light on availability of those kinds of classes to the outside world.  One thing about not being corporate (I haven't been in a looooong time, like 10 years) is that you don't have an internal training department to offer continuing education on both hard and soft skills.  It's kindof a drag. 

I was revisiting my lack of "visioneering time" this morning when I spent 45 minutes reformatting a word document. Yeah. I have a vision of me NOT spending the morning typing "helvetica" and "11" over and over and over again. 

This colleague who I am going to hook up with Boss is all vision, no execution. I think part of my motivation for wanting to hook them up is to show Boss that he doesn't really want what he thinks he wants.  All vision isn't any good, either.  I'm not actually going to recommend the guy, but I will probably mention to Boss that he's available (and to him that my position is available).

I was thinking this morning about all of the intellectual property I have basically handed over since I got here. Methodologies. Sales tactics. It makes me sick.

I got some good advice on the specific job situation from a mentor last night, so that is helpful. But it doesn't address the larger issue. 

I had a few margaritas last night. And Dex gave me lots of hugs. So it's not all bad.