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My parents are draggin their feet booking our venue!! :(

I am looking for advice on working with my parents. I have always know them to be procrastinators I guess I just didn't think about that in terms of my wedding planning. My fiance and I have found a few venues to look at including our dream location. My parents were out to visit us in CA from IA over Thanksgiving, but they didn't want to take time out of the holiday weekend to see the venues with us. Now they can't come back until Mid-January :( The woman working with us at the venue we want is trying her best to steer other couples away from our date, but I am not sure how much longer she can hold out. What do I do? Do I tell my parents that I understand they want to be a part of the venue choosing process, but because they weren't willing to see it with us in November that option is out and ask for them to put the deposit down? I am worried that this will be a constant thing happening when it comes to decision making from a distance. Any suggestions on how to get them moving would be very much appreciated. We are hopping for a wedding date of Sept. 17th and this stall is seriously affecting our planning...

Re: My parents are draggin their feet booking our venue!! :(

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_parents-draggin-their-feet-booking-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2014643b-3e5b-4758-88d3-bd51c2e4d1ddPost:3a994732-7f63-4d87-bc08-48725538cd14">My parents are draggin their feet booking our venue!! :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am looking for advice on working with my parents. I have always know them to be procrastinators I guess I just didn't think about that in terms of my wedding planning. My fiance and I have found a few venues to look at including our dream location. My parents were out to visit us in CA from IA over Thanksgiving, but they didn't want to take time out of the holiday weekend to see the venues with us. Now they can't come back until Mid-January :( The woman working with us at the venue we want is trying her best to steer other couples away from our date, but I am not sure how much longer she can hold out. What do I do? Do I tell my parents that I understand they want to be a part of the venue choosing process, but because they weren't willing to see it with us in November that option is out and ask for them to put the deposit down? I am worried that this will be a constant thing happening when it comes to decision making from a distance. Any suggestions on how to get them moving would be very much appreciated. We are hopping for a wedding date of Sept. 17th and this stall is seriously affecting our planning...
    Posted by VivianH11[/QUOTE]
    Really? Why are your parents booking your venue anyways? Just do it yourself!
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    MrsMyrtleMrsMyrtle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Are they paying for the wedding? If so, you'll just have to wait until they can come back out. 

    If you're paying for it, go ahead and book it. If you're old enough to marry, you're old enough to make decisions on your own.
    image
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    edited December 2011
    Did you expect them to change suddenly because you became engaged?
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    edited December 2011
    Did they actually offer to pay for this or did you assume since you're the bride and "the bride's family pays"?
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    L_WoodsL_Woods member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I see you are in San Diego. What venues are you looking at? I will tell you if they're good.
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    edited December 2011
    Sounds like they're paying for it.

    Unfortunately, I think that gives them some sway. Or, you can tell them you like it and need to book it. Be direct.

    If they're not- then who cares? What will them seeing it do? Sounds like you're going to book it anyway.


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    edited December 2011
    Your bio says we're from the same area-I know venus book up really quickly here around that time of year so I understand wanting to lock it down.  Anyway, can you just pay the deposit yourself and then let your parents pay you back (assuming they've offered)? 
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    catwalshcatwalsh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    If you are paying for the wedding, then you should go ahead and book it.  Send your parents photos or video.  You are a grown women and should plan the wedding you want.  Make a point of asking your parents to be involved in other things that may not be as time sensitive.

    If your parents are paying for the wedding, then they have more say.  If this is the case I would suggest having a very direct candid conversation with them about money and what level of involvement they want.  Ask them for a wedding credit card that you can use anytime.  Or ask them for 1/2 the budget up front, so that you can put down the deposits and pay for things as they come up.  Phrase it, that you don't want to bother them with details, so that it sounds like you are doing them a favor.

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    crys-cryscrys-crys member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_parents-draggin-their-feet-booking-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2014643b-3e5b-4758-88d3-bd51c2e4d1ddPost:e35ed1b0-ea7a-49af-9d44-f9cf7e7dbdfa">Re: My parents are draggin their feet booking our venue!! :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]If your parents are paying for the wedding, then they have more say.  If this is the case I would suggest having a very direct candid conversation with them about money and what level of involvement they want.  Ask them for a wedding credit card that you can use anytime.  Or ask them for 1/2 the budget up front, so that you can put down the deposits and pay for things as they come up.
    Posted by catwalsh[/QUOTE]

    1/2 the budget up front sounds like an outrageous thing to ask. I never understood parents paying for their children's wedding but if that's going to happen then I think the OP is going to have to unfortunately learn some patience. I understand why the parents wouldn't want to interrupt their holiday weekend with wedding planning.
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    deb84deb84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How old are you and why are your parent's booking your venue?!  I guess I understand if they are paying but seriously, if they are paying and live in IA (half way across the country) you may have to have a talk with them about how the money situation is going to work.  They can't be making trips out there all the time to plan and put deposits down.  You need to figure out the logistics of planning.
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