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Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter

From the WaPo live chat.  I added the boldface because really, WTF?

"QNo sympathy...

I recently caught my Sunday School class off gaurd [sic], when hurricane katrina was brought up...AGAIN! *sigh* I made it known that I have no sympathy for anyone that lost homes, lives, loved-ones etc... when Hurricane Katrina hit. My reasoning? 99% of those people made a CHOICE to live in an area that they knew was prone to hurricanes, therefore, it was my opinion that I shouldn't have to feel sorry for someone that made a mistake, and chose to live in the wrong area of the United States. Does this make me a bad person?"

Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter

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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Why is she even asking the question? You know when people tell her Yes, she'll be all, "Well, that's YOUR opinion!" 

    I mean, I accept that my lack of compassion is a major fault. And even I feel bad for people who lost everything to a natural disaster. Must be nice to just live wherever you want, with no thought to keeping/getting a job or taking care of family or any of the other myriad reasons people live in certain areas. 
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    And where does SHE live, exactly?  Where is this magical land free of the threat of hurricanes, blizzards, earthquakes, and tornadoes? 

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    edited December 2011
    California has earthquakes, the mid-west has tornados, other places have bad weather...so, my question, where is the right place in the US?
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yep, Jebus said to always tell people it was their own damn fault.

    (which doesn't mean that I don't line up w/ Bacon'sMom on some of this--there's still a 'enabling' aspect to a lot of charity that kinda sucks.  But, really, this is a 'the quality of mercy is not strained' moment.  It costs nothing to be a bit kinder.)
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_big-fat-wtf-this-prudie-letter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:244b53c3-3b65-4d3d-b794-8f09c5a21d78Post:51038678-9774-4fe1-90e9-85fb66a757cd">Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter</a>:
    [QUOTE]California has earthquakes, the mid-west has tornados, other places have bad weather...so, my question, where is the right place in the US?
    Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]
    I've wondered this myself, even before this.  Mudslides, floods, blizzards, forest fires, earthquakes, it seems like every area is prone to some kind of disaster.

    They made Prudie earn her pay today.  In addition to a question about a very dumb poem soliciting cash via wedding invitation ("If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way. A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day"), there was a woman who is still a virgin after two years of marriage, and this:

    <div class="glyph"><abbr title="Question">Q</abbr>.  <a name="question-19"></a><font color="#0076a3">Daughter's Crossdressing BF</font>
    </div><div class="text question-text"><p>My 20-something daughter, 'Claire,' has been dating a wonderful man for about a year. 'Brad' is gainfully employed, seemingly kind to her, and quite easy on the eyes. He's also a crossdresser, or at least I strongly suspect that he is. His hair is shoulder-length and styled in a rather feminine bob, and I've seen him wear it in quite girlish ways: headband, up in a high ponytail, etc. I believe he curls it regularly. He wears light makeup daily. His typical clothes are borderline women's: capris, sandals, floral print tops, & the like. Last weekend my 2nd husband (not Claire's father) and I ran into them at a local bistro and he was wearing a sarong-like skirt with his hair up in a bun, hoop earrings, sandals with painted toenails, & so on. Frankly, he looked lovely.
    </p><p>My question is, how should I react, or not? We live in a progressive but fairly small Northern California city and it will quickly get around that Claire's beau is also a belle. I have no problem with his "look" but, at the same time, my husband and I have fairly prominent roles in the community and I'm not sure how it will go over if Claire shows up at an event with a man in a dress. My husband, who's less open-minded than I, has already made a couple of derisive comments. I'm also wondering how this will be presented to their kids, if they indeed have kids. I'm not sure how to raise this in a non-judgmental way with my daughter: "So, have you and Brad picked out wedding dresses yet?" Should I just ignore it, and hope that he's discreet in his fashion choices?</p></div>
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    She's 20 and they're dating.  I'd let it run its course.  If they do end up MFEO, then deal with any extraneous issues.

    In the meantime, try to figure out why your H is such an ass.  WTF indeed.

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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    for the Katrina letter...I do wonder how peole don't 'get' that it's not always that easy.

    I mean, I work in the ghetto and anyone w/ enough $ to get out has gotten out.
    90% of the people I deal w/ don't have a way to get out--they don't have the education to get a job elsewhere, the $ to move, etc.  Some of that's their own doing but...well, as long as they steay here, they're doomed.  it just kinda sucks.

    I'm lucky enough to know tht if my life went into the crapper, my family would take care of me.  As would my ILs.  But not everyone has that sort of 'safety net'.

    (my SIL showed the same attitude toward Katrina...but she very much came from crap and doesn't always see that not everyone manages to get out as cleanly as she did)

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    TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ahahaha @ "so, have you and Brad picked out wedding dresses yet?"

    What is Prudie telling these people?
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I do not have a problem with this. Perhaps it's just me. I wouldn't give a damn if my daughter came home with a guy who was a crossdresser, as long as he met the motherly criteria of not ever making my baby cry, leaving her to care for him because he was too lazy to go to work. squandered away their money irresponsibly (as opposed to responsible squandering, I suppose) etc.



    Edit: I do not have a problem with a man wearing women's clothing. I think the other woman is too ridiculous to even bother responding to. I suppose she'd kick the teddybear out of the arms of a child whose home had just been destroyed by a tornado in flat lands. After all, she should have known better.
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Woah, woah, back it up. 

    A virgin after 2 YEARS of marriage? 

    And yeah, why would you have to "bring it up" that your kid's BF is a transvestite? So what if he is? It's not something that needs discussing, just like you wouldn't "discuss" her BF's brown hair. Why do people make up issues? 
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    zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    This is giving me flashbacks to our "I don't care about Haiti" discussions.  I think I need to back away slowly before my blood pressure rises.

    The "cross-dresser" just sounds super crunchy/alternative to me. 
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_big-fat-wtf-this-prudie-letter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:244b53c3-3b65-4d3d-b794-8f09c5a21d78Post:b45cc448-9204-459c-bc91-841b7c9a6426">Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter</a>:
    [QUOTE]ahahaha @ "so, have you and Brad picked out wedding dresses yet?" What is Prudie telling these people?
    Posted by TheDuckis[/QUOTE]

    <div class="glyph"><abbr title="Answer">A</abbr>.</div><div class="wholine">Emily Yoffe :

    </div><div class="text"><p>Do you teach at the Ayn Rand "It's Your Own Fault" Sunday School? When you teach the story of the flood, you must disparage God for instructing Noah to save the living creatures of the earth -- according to you they all deserved to drown. By your reasoning, anyone who lives someplace prone to natural disasters: earthquakes, tornadoes, blizzards, should be left to their own devices when catastrophe hits.  Perhaps you should instruct your students where the proper places to live are, since vast swaths of the earth put populations at risk.  Maybe you want to open you home to the millions who must migrate if they follow your principles.
    </p><p>I'm assuming Katrina came up yet again, because your students find your point of view morally indefensible. Good for them. Having such a discussion -- and citing Biblical texts to support various points of view -- will make for a challenging, lively class. Although you are very certain about your lack of empathy for victims of the hurricaine, I will leave unanswered your question as to whether you're a bad person. I just don't have enough information about you to draw such a sweeping conclusion.
    </p><div class="glyph"><abbr title="Question">Q</abbr>.</div><h4 class="qa-title"><a name="question-9"></a><font color="#0076a3">Two year old marriage and still a virgin</font></h4><div class="text question-text">Prudie, I have a huge problem. I married my Mr. Absolutely Perfect two years ago an we want to have kids in the near future. But I'm terrified of sex. It's not that I was raped or molested as a child. I am from a conservative culture and my parents always taught me sex was disgusting and evil - but I can't see how this is a problem, since all my five siblings were taught the same and they have no problem changing this attitude after marriage! I feel like a horrible wife and I have tried to force myself to have sex several times, but each time I break into a sweat and begin to cry. My husband is more than patient about this and told me he will never do anything that makes me feel upset. I have tried therapy but the therapist kept trying to discover some kind of childhood trauma that may have contributed, except there is none. My husband and I have no other marital problems, and I love kissing and cuddling. It's just sex that terrifies me. Is there any hope for us? Signed, Reluctant virgin </div><div class="answerAttachmentList"><div class="answer"><div class="h-rule hr-thin hr-lightgrey hr-dotted wp-pad-top wp-pad-bottom"></div><div class="glyph"><abbr title="Answer">
    A</abbr>.</div><div class="wholine">Emily Yoffe :

    </div><div class="text"><p>Contact  sex therapist Joyce Penner at Passionate Commitment <a href="http://www.passionatecommitment.com," rel="nofollow">www.passionatecommitment.com,</a> who treats couples from a Christian perspective. One of Penner's specialties is unconsummated marriages.  Searching for a childhood trauma as the key to unlock you has gotten you to your second anniversary with your virginity intact. As a couple you need a <em>positive </em>physical and psychological approach so you can fully participate in the joys of marriage. This isn't going to be an instant fix, but that you want things to be different, and that you have a loving, patient husband means that with some work you surely will get there.
    </p><div class="glyph"><abbr title="Answer">A</abbr>.</div><div class="wholine">Emily Yoffe :</div><div class="text"><p>Stop worrying about how "the community" reacts -- and tell your husband you understand his discomfort, but you don't want to hear put-downs of your daughter's boyfriend.  You haven't said they're engaged, so instead of worrying about what to tell the grandchildren, have a talk -- as non-judgmentally as possible -- about her relationship with Brad.  Say something like, "Honey, it seems to me that Brad dresses very femininely, and possibly he's a cross-dresser. Can you tell me about this?" If she has nothing to tell, then drop it (and don't offer Brad any of your hand-me-downs).</p></div></div></div></div></div>
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hey, hey, let's leave Ayn Rand out of this. Rational self-interest doesn't, actually, mean leaving people to die in the streets. Jeez. 


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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    DG1, the magical natural disaster-free area is Pittsburgh.  Seriously.
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    andrea2473andrea2473 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_big-fat-wtf-this-prudie-letter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:244b53c3-3b65-4d3d-b794-8f09c5a21d78Post:bf379fad-51f8-4a7f-a67d-9283367eee86">Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter</a>:
    [QUOTE]DG1, the magical natural disaster-free area is Pittsburgh.  Seriously.
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
     
    Yeah, but then you'd have to live in Pittsburgh.
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_big-fat-wtf-this-prudie-letter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:244b53c3-3b65-4d3d-b794-8f09c5a21d78Post:e48e2d71-0cfe-4024-a628-eeea5d605d8b">Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Big fat WTF @ this Prudie letter :   Yeah, but then you'd have to live in Pittsburgh.
    Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

    FTW!
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