Dear Prudie,
I have been unemployed for almost a year. A good friend got engaged last fall, and she's asked me to be in her wedding in 2011. I tried to say no, because she wants an over-the-top event, so my participation fee could be $1,000. As I laid out my concerns, my friend looked as if she was going to cry. She pleaded, assuring me I'd have a job by then and if I didn't, she'd help me with the dress (with a loan, I presume). I relented. Now I worry that either I'm going to be labeled the difficult bridesmaid or the employed bridesmaids will resent me, since I can't pay for extravagant events such as bachelorette parties with limos. I need to start declining invitations she sends to "My Bridesmaids," and I don't know what to do.
—Unemployed Bridesmaid
Dear Unemployed,
I think the e-mails to "My Bridesmaids" are mislabeled and really should read "My Subjects." Your friend is planning a wedding siege longer than some presidential campaigns. As for your "participation fee," that sounds like something that should be covered by a RICO statute. Since she likes browbeating, feel free to bow out by e-mail. Explain that you wanted to give her plenty of notice, and, sadly, your finances don't allow you to be part of her wedding party. If she disinvites you from the wedding, just laugh that this queen wouldn't even let you eat wedding cake.
—Prudie