Does anyone else have a similar situation?

ammerrose

I am 19, getting married in 4 months. I am saving myself for marriage. Recently went to the doctor, and she told me, if they gave me "the shot" that day, I would not get my menses on my wedding. My period switched weeks. So now it won;t be the week after, like it was supposed to be. I will be getting it either the day before or the day of . It has me kinda bummed. Anyone have any advice?

I know waiting a few days will not be a big deal, but because i'm feeling overwhelmed, it seems hard to handle haha !

I hope all of you are having awesome, day/nights/afternoons/mornings :]

*Barbie*

waiting a few days for what? unless you get very bad PMS symptoms (cramps, bloating, upset stomach, etc. ) it shouldn't be a big deal to have your period on your wedding day - make sure you have extra pads/tampons/diva cups/etc.. heck, the stress may delay it anyways.

you can have sex when you have your period. just put down a towel. since it's your first time, you may bleed a little bit anyways.

SmithMcFarlane

I didn't wait, and I honestly have an IUD (even though I don't have kids) so I haven't had to deal with a period/pills ect for well over a year now, but I guess I thought that even if you started the depo, or the pill it wouldn't guarantee that you wouldn't get your menses or that you'd be "regular".  You should be able to call and talk to your doctor or nurse about this as it is still 4 months out.  With the pilll how I was told to take it from what I remember was wait to start until the Sunday after you get your menses, and sometimes they will allow you to take an extra week or so to "adjust" your cycle.  If you are currently on the pill, they might allow you to take a up to 8 weeks of the active pills before the inactive pills.  But again, I would call your doctor and see what they can do, I started birth control when I was about 12 for irregular menses and there were many times where my dr would prevent me from having regular menses anyway.  Good luck!  and Congrats!

I would talk to your doc about having sex while you have your menses, my doc told me that wasn't a good idea.

TheDuckis

My suggestion is not to get married when you're 19 and still afraid of your period.

mrskaniver

I would talk to your doctor about using birth control to skip your period entirely. My GYN has me doing this on a regular basis and it is wonderful.

jess9802

Oh, I don't blame the OP for not wanting to have sex for the first time while on her period. I'm perfectly comfortable with my periods and with my body, but I don't particularly enjoy period sex.

I'm not quite sure what shot the doctor gave you--was it Depo-Provera? If so, your period might stop, from what I've heard, so long as you get the shot on schedule. Otherwise, I'd go back and ask about the birth control pill. It's pretty easy to skip your period on the pill. It's what I'll be doing the week before my wedding.

6fsn

I can't really relate.  I didn't get married at 19.  I was also older than that when I had sex.

If you are medically concerned about the shot, talk to your doc.  If you are worried about waiting a couple of days more to have sex to talk your FI.

Like Barbie said, the stress may jack your period up regardless.

Butter Cookie

My advice? Get on birth control now, so that it is effective when you get married.

Also, talk to your FI. He may have no issue at all with your period.

I'll admit - I wouldn't want to have sex for the first time while on my period. On the other hand, sometimes *ahem* sex helps cramps. I'm just saying.

ReturnOfKuus

There is not a single bit of this that I can relate to, not the marriage at 19, not the "waiting" (is it really much of a wait if you get married as a teenager?), not getting a nebulous shot from my doctor without apparently knowing much about it, and especially not calling my period my "menses".

LoveMuffins

I did not have a similar situation, but I did have a friend who saved herself for marriage. She did the smart thing and went on the pill several months before the wedding... the biggest problem was that they did nothing other than a little under the shirt action before the wedding. So... they ended up not having sex on their wedding night. Or on their honeymoon at all. Partly because she was freaked out, because she had no experience whatsoever (he did, from previous girlfriends, but went through blue ball hell to be with her), and partly because she had never had anything in there before other than a tampon so that COMPLETELY freaked her out and she ended up clenching up so tight he couldn't get in and she screamed in pain when he tried. They finally had sex 2 weeks after their honeymoon.

So... not sure if you're doing something similar and completely saving yourself... but if you are, the lesson that I saw from her experience is not to rush everything on the wedding night anyway. Taking a few days to be naked together and just touching and exploring each other's bodies without the pressure of 'we must have sex tonight', might not be a bad thing.

Of course, if you're an 'everything, but' girl, then I can understand your frustration about waiting even longer, and i would say go and get on the pill now. It allows for a little more regulation, and you have to be on it for a couple months beforehand in order for it to be effective anyway.

jess9802

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-similar-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2b046159-5ccf-4422-b5d6-8f086108179cPost:97aeb8e6-4977-48a5-94f0-b25717b60a1b">Re: Does anyone else have a similar situation?</a>:
[QUOTE]I did not have a similar situation, but I did have a friend who saved herself for marriage. She did the smart thing and went on the pill several months before the wedding... the biggest problem was that they did nothing other than a little under the shirt action before the wedding. So... they ended up not having sex on their wedding night. Or on their honeymoon at all. Partly because she was freaked out, because she had no experience whatsoever (he did, from previous girlfriends, but went through blue ball hell to be with her), and partly because she had never had anything in there before other than a tampon so that COMPLETELY freaked her out and she ended up clenching up so tight he couldn't get in and she screamed in pain when he tried. They finally had sex 2 weeks after their honeymoon. So... not sure if you're doing something similar and completely saving yourself... but if you are, the lesson that I saw from her experience is not to rush everything on the wedding night anyway. Taking a few days to be naked together and just touching and exploring each other's bodies without the pressure of 'we must have sex tonight', might not be a bad thing. Of course, if you're an 'everything, but' girl, then I can understand your frustration about waiting even longer, and i would say go and get on the pill now. It allows for a little more regulation, <strong>and you have to be on it for a couple months beforehand in order for it to be effective anyway</strong>.
Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

Not true. Depending on when you start (first day of period vs. first Sunday after your period), the Pill will be effective at preventing pregnancy no later than seven days after you start.

LoveMuffins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-similar-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:2b046159-5ccf-4422-b5d6-8f086108179cPost:b1fcbc8e-ea6d-4737-8bdf-c49966744abc">Re: Does anyone else have a similar situation?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does anyone else have a similar situation? : Not true. Depending on when you start (first day of period vs. first Sunday after your period), the Pill will be effective at preventing pregnancy no later than seven days after you start.
Posted by jess9802[/QUOTE]

No offense, but my gyno said 2 months to be absolutely sure, and I'm going to trust her over you =) I don't mean that in a mean way... I'm just paranoid about pregnancy and I trust my gyno 100% and I don't know you at all.

jess9802

The information re: efficacy of BCPs is available at Planned Parenthood's website (among others) and is also found in the manufacturer's insert which is required by law to be provided to the patient with each pack of pills.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm:

Combination Pills
You may start the combination pill at any time. If you start within five days after the start of your period, you are protected against pregnancy right away. You will not need to use a backup method of birth control. That means that if your period starts on a Wednesday morning, you can start the pill up to Monday morning to be protected right away. If you start at any other time during your menstrual cycle, you will be protected from pregnancy after seven days. Use another method of birth control — like a condom, female condom, diaphragm, or sponge — if you have vaginal intercourse during the first week of use.

LnR70707

what the hell is "the shot"??? I know it can't be the only birth control shot out there, because you don't get your period at all on that unless you f_ck it up or your body has other problems.

Butter Cookie

Another thing to consider: If this is the first time you're taking Depo are you sure you want to start it on your wedding day? If you're allergic to it you'll be hating life.

LoveMuffins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_anyone-else-similar-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:2b046159-5ccf-4422-b5d6-8f086108179cPost:07527168-71e0-4ecb-9a55-c49be24d2e1c">Re: Does anyone else have a similar situation?</a>:
[QUOTE]The information re: efficacy of BCPs is available at Planned Parenthood's website (among others) and is also found in the manufacturer's insert which is required by law to be provided to the patient with each pack of pills. <a href="http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm</a> : Combination Pills You may start the combination pill at any time. If you start within five days after the start of your period, you are protected against pregnancy right away. You will not need to use a backup method of birth control. That means that if your period starts on a Wednesday morning, you can start the pill up to Monday morning to be protected right away. If you start at any other time during your menstrual cycle, you will be protected from pregnancy after seven days. Use another method of birth control — like a condom, female condom, diaphragm, or sponge — if you have vaginal intercourse during the first week of use.
Posted by jess9802[/QUOTE]

Granted... I also got on the pill over ten years which is when she told me this =P it's very possible that they've made improvements... still, tbh, I'd be worried that the egg from previous period hadn't gone away (it happens) and would still be on birth control for at least a month and had a period after being on birth control, before doing the dirty. =) Girls still get pregnant on the pill, so better safe than sorry. Also, since different pills have different amounts of hormones and other small discrepencies, if I were OP and going on the pill, I'd still ask my gyno when is the <em>safest</em> time to start having sex.