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HELP! Too Early for Save the Dates? & Family Drama.

Is a year and a half too early to send out save the dates? Our wedding is September 2013.

To make a long story short, FI’s cousin is planning her wedding for the weekend before ours. Both our weddings will anticipate many out of town guests from their side of the family who are scattered throughout the states & Canada. It’s highly unlikely that anybody will come to both her wedding, and ours.

 

Just wondering how i should handle this?

Re: HELP! Too Early for Save the Dates? & Family Drama.

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    This sounds like the wedding equivalent to calling shotgun.
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    FIRST!!!

    *dammit, conn, you beat me to it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_help-too-early-for-save-the-dates-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2b394f8b-2502-437d-aebc-a3249e08233dPost:b006361a-729b-4611-8b1b-afb5eba2ea55">Re: HELP! Too Early for Save the Dates? & Family Drama.</a>:
    [QUOTE]FIRST!!!<strong> *dammit, conn, you beat me to it.</strong>
    Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-sealed.gif" border="0" alt="Sealed" title="Sealed" />
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    Why does she have to move her date? You move yours. But since logic always fails, it's not too early. Just remember that anyone who gets a STD has to get an invite (to the public health department for follow up treatment).
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_help-too-early-for-save-the-dates-family-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2b394f8b-2502-437d-aebc-a3249e08233dPost:80f942c3-7756-4d16-87a3-2755b76d5dda">Re: HELP! Too Early for Save the Dates? & Family Drama.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<em><strong>Why does she have to move her date?</strong></em> You move yours.
    Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]

    But PMeg, she was engaged <em>first</em> and therefore her relationship is more valid than her FI's cousin's. <u> DUH! </u>
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    I never understand these "the family isn't going to choose my wedding" posts.  The family will come to your cousin's wedding and bring your presents with them at the same time.

    You still get to see them and have their gifts/money but you don't have the burden of feeding and entertaining them.  It's clear who the winner/loser is in these situations.
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    lol... thanks everyone....

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    It's kind of early, in the sense that some people will not realize that your wedding is NEXT year and not this year. but you can send them out whenever you want, really.

    you may also be surprised at how many people actually pick and choose to go to both weddings.
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    thats my concern too is people might not realize it's 2013, not 2012.

    i didn't plan to send them until around this time, NEXT year!
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    or how many people choose to go to neither.

    as for whether people choose your wedding or your cousin's wedding, it's only an issue if you choose to make it one.

    dh's aunt went to bil's wedding but not ours.  i got to spend the rehearsal dinner with her and had a great time, which is something that would not have happened at my own wedding.
    image
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    Really - I do think it's too early. 

    How silly can you be? They're not going to choose which wedding to go to based on who got their STDs out first (and really, fvcking early). I too cannot understand why people worry about this - they'll either come or they won't. 

    You don't like your wedding this close to your FI's cousins? Change your date or stop worrying about it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    Life is good today.
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    ok, thanks all.
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    Agreed. No one is going to choose where to go based on when they get a STD. So just do it the normal time before. 
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    A year and a half is way too early to send out Save-the-Dates.  A year to six months is typical.  We sent ours out in September for an April wedding.

    From a time and financial perspective of your guests, I could understand why you are concerned about the timing of your event. Talk to your FI and tell him your concerns. If you think that two weddings in the space of two weeks could be too much for your family given budget/time constraints(which can be a valid concern), then the two of you talk it out and see about mixing things up a bit.

    This really all boils down to really what the two of you expect from a wedding:

    Do you want an intimate small gathering with your closest friends and relatives or do you want a big family wedding with lots of people coming from out of town?

    This whole thing if you think about it, can turn out to be a blessing in disguise if you're going for a smaller intimate wedding--with less mouths to feed you could really amp up your decor, deck out your menu, get a coutoure wedding gown, get a higher level package from a wedding photographer--the list goes on and on really.

    Ultimately, the people who will matter most will always show up for your wedding.

    You need to focus less on what your cousin is doing, and try to straiten out your priorities, likes and dislikes--rather than turning your wedding planning into a competition.


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