Washington-Seattle

RANT: First Dance song

So.  A year ago I brought up the first dance song with FI.  Played it for him in the car.  He showed no interest in making that decision then.  Started off by joking "Beastie Boys "Girls!" should be our song.  Then when I get frustrated he wasn't taking the topic seriously, says "We don't need to decide it right now, do we?  We can do it closer to the wedding." 

So here we are less than 2 months away.  I bring up first dance song a couple nights ago, ask if he has anything in mind.  His response is "Well, since it's something that important, I would have guessed you already had that picked out."  And when I ask again if he had anything in mind he says "No, I'd be find with anything you want." 

So tonight I play for him (AGAIN) the song that I like which is Babyface's "Everytime I Close My Eyes."  His response?  While making somewhat of a face says "It's alright." So I ask, AGAIN, if he has a song in mind.  His response is "Not at the moment."  I'm about to go bridezilla on his arse.  WTF!?  I'm sick of the freaking mixed messages!  Not to mention I really don't want to effing wait until a freaking week before the wedding to figure out the song!  Yeah, I get it's just a song, but seriously.  It's his responses that are pissing me off.  Am I going insane here?
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Re: RANT: First Dance song

  • jennuinnejennuinne member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI has this same reaction to most things wedding, saying "Its alright" unenthusiastically and/or saying "no," and never having any other suggestions, saying, I'll think of something, but never does.  I think its a guy thing?

    On our first dance song, I made suggestions a long time ago and FI didn't like my suggestions ("Its a'ight, but naw").  He had no suggestions, ever.  I suggested many other songs, none of which he liked, but kept re-suggesting my original song(s).  Until during one conversation FI decided he loved that song and it was perfect.  Hello?!?   Maybe suggest some terrible songs and then bring back up your choice.  : )
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    i think that maybe that song just isn't it for him. keep suggesting songs, he'll like one. :) it is frustrating though.. this is something that both of you should pick out and i could imagine being extremely frustrated! sorry boo!
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
  • edited December 2011
    yeah Fi keeps shooting down songs.  I think its something that is going to be decided last minute.  But its definately not a priority right now.  I can totally understand your frustrated by his reaction and not suggesting/helping in this manner.  Just keep throwing songs at him and he;lll hopefully start forming an opinion
  • edited December 2011
    I agree - I think its a guy thing.  I'll ask FI opinion about something and if he doesn't want to deal with it at that moment its "my" wedding, but when he wants a say - as in cake design and flavors - its "our" wedding. 
    Amanda & Joel
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  • edited December 2011
    Um, yeah. Deciding our first dance song 3 days before the wedding sucked. :)  We didn't have a song... so since fiance knows music isn't my thing... he told me to pick one that I liked. So I mentioned it to him and he said sure, it sounds good. And so it was.

    Hope you get it straightened out soon so you can check it off your list.
    debi & jason 05.01.2010

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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Do what I did: I picked three songs I liked the best and had him pick one of the three. Why make things harder on yourself?
  • edited December 2011
    I had this EXACT same experience last night.  "FI, do you mind if we use a country song for our first dance?  They have the best love songs."  "No country!"  "Ok, well, what should we use?"  "Baby Got Back!"
    Um, NO.
    I am gonna go bridezilla on him if he isn't careful.  But I pretty much decided to do what Melissa said.  Because if he doesn't have anything to contribute, he doesn't get much choice.
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  • edited December 2011
    Jennyann - I swear our FI's are fratnernal twins separated at birth or something.  They both respond the same doggone way!
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  • edited December 2011
    Tygirl - I think my FI must be related then as well!! He's finally gotten a little excited about putting together the general playlist for iPod DJing it...but first dance song conversations have been pointless. His response to my choice (two options from Postal Service) is "I know you think of that as our song but I dunno." So obviously, we don't have an OUR song and I've told him that means our first dance song will BECOME OUR song so it better be something we like!! And still...nada. And yeah, he'd love "Baby Got Back" :P Sir-Mix-a-Lot, our homeboy, represent!
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_rant-first-dance-song?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:affa0d98-e1a4-4a6d-9d0e-f7ebab3e18acPost:5aac39fc-26ef-4375-82fc-366ab2584cab">Re: RANT: First Dance song</a>:
    [QUOTE]So obviously, we don't have an OUR song and I've told him that means our first dance song will BECOME OUR song so it better be something we like!!
    Posted by KST_[/QUOTE]

    Ooh, I like that!   Apparently FI was listening to his Ipod the last couple days trying to think of a song, and as you mentioned, we really don't have one.  Honestly, in NONE of my relationships have I ever had an "our song."  And yeah, maybe they were triplets? ;)
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  • jennlinjennlin member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    tygirl~ sorry he's being a butt. like pp said..maybe this isn't the right song for him, and so come up with your own list....maybe 20 or so songs..and just go down the list...."do you like this song, do you like this song, etc...." then narrow it down to however many he liked in there, and just pick one yourself....he obviously has no real interest in choosing.

    jennyann~ uwhuskygirl and her H used baby got back for their first dance song!
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  • edited December 2011
    I think this is becoming a common trend! We had a problem, we didn't have a song. And the ones we kept thinking of we didn't really want as our first song. It's tough!
    But I agree with the other girls, you pick and he gets to choose from YOUR list. If he doesn't know, you'll just make the decision! I'm sorry it has to be that way!
    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
  • jennuinnejennuinne member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Also, we played the contenders and danced to them.  That helped.  For both of us, the really slow songs felt awkward and not us and we knew we'd be really self-consious in front of a crowd.  Let's Stay Together, which is sort of our song, just felt right.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Jennuinne - Good tip on the dancing together to it!

    Tygirl - haha, my first boyfriend told me a song was 'our song.' What was it? "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys! Should have known that relationship was doomed to quick failure...that song is about a break up!
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • edited December 2011
    Lol Kst! That is hilarious!
    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
  • edited December 2011
    Uhh, yeah, that would be a sign.  I once had a guy in 6th grade "dedicate" a song to me.  It was Boyz II Men's "End of the Road"  Wow, smart one, dude!
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  • irshis20irshis20 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My fiance is being this way...about everything. He'll be uninterested or undecided on something until it's time for me to sign the contract - and then he has an opinion! He's slowing me down!
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