Just stressed and tired

mariakhristine

Just wanted to vent about my fiance's need for a pretty princess wedding (or whatever the guy version of that would be). I'm a super laid back person (honestly, I'd rather just elope, not spend all this money, and just host a BBQ to celebrate), but all this stuff is just so exhausting and annoying. I seriously do not understand why anybody would want all this stuff for a wedding. 

Anyway, wanted to get that off my chest. I'm only about three months into planning and it's driving me crazy. I hate how this big fancy wedding culture just permeates into everything. 

AddieCake

Is he helping?

BostonGIrl4732

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_just-stressed-and-tired?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2f5f737f-0b74-4561-934c-c188435eca14Post:be0a71d3-480c-47f0-8ceb-18c97b62d715">Just stressed and tired</a>:
[QUOTE]Just wanted to vent about my fiance's need for a pretty princess wedding (or whatever the guy version of that would be). I'm a super laid back person (honestly, I'd rather just elope, not spend all this money, and just host a BBQ to celebrate), but all this stuff is just so exhausting and annoying. I seriously do not understand why anybody would want all this stuff for a wedding.  Anyway, wanted to get that off my chest. I'm only about three months into planning and it's driving me crazy. I hate how this big fancy wedding culture just permeates into everything. 
Posted by mariakhristine[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I am very much like this as well.  I find it interesting because I think we get bombarded with these messages that it's always the BRIDE who wants the big wedding.  Sometimes, it's the groom.  When we do the planning, everyone just assumes that I'm the one who wants everything and I'm dragging him along for the ride, when in reality, I'd be very happy with a quick trip to the courthouse.</div><div>
</div><div>Is your FI helping you?  I know that mine did for a while, then stopped helping, and now is back to doing most of the planning.  He's the one who wanted the big wedding so I didn't think it was fair to put all that work on me.  I give my opinions and have taken responsibility for a few things and left a bunch up to my FI.  It's worked out really well.</div><div>
</div><div>I know with my FI, he sometimes gets very caught up in how things are "supposed" to be.  Then I have to gently remind him that things don't "have" to be any particular way and there is more than one way to have a wedding.  I prefer for our guests to be comfortable and to have a good time.  He's starting to see my point and has dialed things back a bunch.</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck!

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mariakhristine

I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this! He does try to help when he can, but his job is a lot crazier than mine and his free time is on weekends and evenings--which doesn't work well for vendors and scheduling.

But our situation sounds the same, BostonGirl. He is very focused on how things are supposed to be, and on things that his friends have done for weddings, so that's just a big frustration--I'm tired of having so many aspects of our wedding compared to what other people have done. Hopefully I'll do as good a job as you did of getting him to dial it back a bit.