Wedding Woes

I really liked stalking her until I found out she's a drunken slut!

Prudie's advice is ridiculous. This guy's a jerk.

Q. Shattered Dreams: There is this girl I have been interested in. I'm sure we will get along great when we finally get together. Anyway, I keep track of her through Facebook, and recently she changed some settings that allowed me to see a bunch of her pictures. Needless to say, I was shocked. From what I can tell, she has had THREE boyfriends in the past two years. She also has lots of pictures of her in somewhat compromising positions with other girls, and also lots of pictures with alcohol. I was expecting her to be a nice clean girl, but obviously now I feel I have to let her go. Is this a normal occurrence in the young adult dating world? Or should I continue to keep trying to find the right one?A: The object of your desire sounds as if she's the object of many people's desire, and the beauty of Facebook is that everyone can now see documentary evidence of such things. It's obviously dumb to post compromising photos of oneself on Facebook. But you should also know that many people use Facebook to goof around with their sexual image and relationship settings. You may be turned off by her displays, but you also sound rather a prig when you say you desire "a nice clean girl." Nonetheless, it's clear that your style and this girl's don't mesh. So when using Facebook as a filter, look for someone who understands the wisdom of being more circumspect.Update, Feb. 7, 2011, 4:20 p.m.: I agree with readers who point out that I overlooked the Travis Bickle aspect of the this question, and it's likely the young woman in question doesn't even know him. He's a creep! However, I remain concerned that young people in particular are displaying for the world a version of themselves, let's say "sexy party girl," that can have unanticipated consequences, even if they think they've got their page contained. It's great to be young and sexy—but does everyone have to know?
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Re: I really liked stalking her until I found out she's a drunken slut!

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Holy crap, 3 boyfriends in 2 years? If that makes one a slut, then I am the sluttiest of the McSluttersons and I'm lucky H deigned to marry me.

    Prudie does have a point about young people and sexy facebook personas, but what this guy described seems pretty normal.
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I agree she has a point about what you put on the internet,  but this is not the place or time for that. This is the place and time to tell Creepy McCreeper that he needs some brain bleach before he tries to engage an actual human woman. 
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  • edited December 2011
    How can he let her go, if he never had her?  That gets a big ol' hee from me.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I get being turned off by the Girls Gone Wild persona she's putting on the internet, but three boyfriends in two years?  What, is there a minimum amount of time you have to keep dating a guy after you realize he's not for you in order to be a "nice girl"?
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  • edited December 2011
    Plus, I'm sure she's young, so 6 months is like 2 years for the under 20 crowd.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_really-liked-stalking-her-until-found-out-shes-drunken-slut?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:3483a4f2-1455-49c5-9923-311581370bb5Post:2b5a9207-b746-45bf-b71a-bb505fcd5f33">Re: I really liked stalking her until I found out she's a drunken slut!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I get being turned off by the Girls Gone Wild persona she's putting on the internet, but three boyfriends in two years?  <strong>What, is there a minimum amount of time you have to keep dating a guy after you realize he's not for you in order to be a "nice girl"?</strong>
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
    Of course there is, Kuus. <div>
    </div><div>And you just KNOW he keeps bitching about how women don't like "nice guys" anymore, too. </div>
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    They always do.

    On a related note, Mr. Kuus said something to me about maybe I should have continued dating guys a little longer for appearance's sake in high school to avoid the big ol' whore reputation (I wasn't complaining, hadn't even mentioned it until he asked if people got the wrong idea and I admitted that some did).  I am still annoyed.
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm imagining the people in this story are over 40.  It makes it extra amusing that way.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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