Wedding Woes
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BM woes

Hi, So I have four bridesmaids (my sister and three close friends) I'm getting married in September. For a little background, these past couple of months have been pretty tough for me. I had a best friend (a guy) who has refused to even speak to me since he found out my bf of over five years was planning to propose. I never really got closure from it, we went from speaking everyday since we were 13 to not even talking. Enter bridesmaids. My BFF from high school is my MOH and she was close to joe as well until he stopped speaking to her out of nowhere too. Another girl in my bridal party is mutual friends with Joe as well, and the second he stopped speaking to me they got super close and then I started hearing rumors about myself that all seemed to stem from my BM and Joe. This has been incredibly hurtful, and I keep trying to move past it all, but now my BM and I haven't spoken in months outside of work, and she's the only one who knows nothing about the wedding. She hasnt asked anything, she hasn't seen my dress, she doesnt know about flowers, or the photographer or the dj....all of my other girls have been wonderful and call me or email me at least once a week to see if they can help with anything or let me know about a cute idea they stumbled across or just to check in and see how I am, and I really appreciate that. We've all gotten much closer, but I don't want to chase down a rogue BM...kicking her out is not an option 1. She bought her dress 2. It would just be rude I'd be so upset if someone did that to me and 3. Her fiancé is a groomsmen. 4. Seriously, that's just so rude!! But I'm also afraid she will make things uncomfortable and awkward on my day, and I don't want to look back at bridal party pics and be sad and bitter about her.... Am I being stupid and too sensitive? Has anyone had a situation like this or any suggestions on how to handle it????

Re: BM woes

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    When you look back at the pictures from your wedding it should be nothing but good memories. At least if you could help it. I think you should try talking to your BM and tell her how you feel. You were obviously close at some point so you should be able to talk to her about how you feel.
    If you talk to her and it turns out bad I would consider asking her if she still wants to and feels comfortable being in the wedding.she could always be a guest. But if it turns out good you both may feel better about the situation.
    I am a little confused at why your Male friend stopped speaking to you It seems like you may need to also have a conversatation with him. Just keep in mind these people have been friends try not to be harsh and keep a open mind
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    I tried to approach her a couple times, but each time she basically says "I'm going through some stuff right now, and I tend to withdraw from people when when it happens, and I don't notice until its too late and the damage is already done" and leaves it at that. I've approached him, and the two of them together because I don't understand what happened or why all of the sudden they stopped talking to me, it just seems like they are super secretive when I do, I never get a full answer...its so confusing and frustrating. She says she just wants to be friends with both of us, and I understand that and I'm not asking her to choose, but she spends her free time with him and has completely brushed me (and my wedding) off...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_bm-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:3555a849-0d40-4b72-adc0-471cea3413d1Post:44f1bb5f-3bb8-42a7-b425-278ce99c7824">BM woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi, So I have four bridesmaids (my sister and three close friends) I'm getting married in September. For a little background, these past couple of months have been pretty tough for me. I had a best friend (a guy) who has refused to even speak to me since he found out my bf of over five years was planning to propose. I never really got closure from it, we went from speaking everyday since we were 13 to not even talking. Enter bridesmaids. My BFF from high school is my MOH and she was close to joe as well until he stopped speaking to her out of nowhere too. Another girl in my bridal party is mutual friends with Joe as well, and the second he stopped speaking to me they got super close and then I started hearing rumors about myself that all seemed to stem from my BM and Joe. This has been incredibly hurtful, and I keep trying to move past it all, but now my BM and I haven't spoken in months outside of work, and she's the only one who knows nothing about the wedding. She hasnt asked anything, she hasn't seen my dress, she doesnt know about flowers, or the photographer or the dj....all of my other girls have been wonderful and call me or email me at least once a week to see if they can help with anything or let me know about a cute idea they stumbled across or just to check in and see how I am, and I really appreciate that. We've all gotten much closer, but I don't want to chase down a rogue BM...kicking her out is not an option 1. She bought her dress 2. It would just be rude I'd be so upset if someone did that to me and 3. Her fiancé is a groomsmen. 4. Seriously, that's just so rude!! But I'm also afraid she will make things uncomfortable and awkward on my day, and I don't want to look back at bridal party pics and be sad and bitter about her.... Am I being stupid and too sensitive? Has anyone had a situation like this or any suggestions on how to handle it????
    Posted by masseyimages[/QUOTE]

    Is Joe in love with you or something?
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    I would just be happy that she isn't trying to contact you more, it sounds like she doesn't have anyting nice to say.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    Joe wasn't a real friend.  He was this kind of friend:

    http://xkcd.com/513/
    image
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    Kuus, I have always thought you were great, but your linking to XKCD confirms it.

    Also that was not meant to sound creepy. Soooo.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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