Wedding Woes

Reception Seating

Ok... here's my issue. My wedding is still about a year away and I'm already so stressed about seating arrangements I can't bare to think about it. My parents are divorced, my mom's parents are divorced, my dad's brother is divorced, my mom's sister will likely be divorced in the near future... Yes I know, bodes well for my future doesn't it? 

My concern is if i put the divorcees at the same table, someone might end up killing someone else. OR, they will pretend to like each other so they don't upset me, but the tension will be so unbelievable the whole night will be like walking on eggshells. 

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Re: Reception Seating

  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There is absolutely no reason you need to be thinking about this right now.

    At this point, I'm certain you haven't sent invitations and, therefore, have no RSVPs. You need to wait to create your seating arrangement until you know 100% who is coming and who is not.

    Even if you think you have a good idea of attendees, people often suprise you. Those you think will show up may not, and vice versa.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • pfjc62511pfjc62511 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know I shouldn't be worrying about it now, but I'm so worried about every aspect of this wedding because of how messed up my family is... I want to have fun and historically, when all the members of my family are in the same room, fun is the last thing we have and i usually end up crying. I work in a high school and by the time the school year is over, i will have less than a month to put finishing touches on everything. My goal was to have almost every aspect of the wedding planned so that all I had to do was minor adjustments since I wont have time to do a whole lot during the year.

    Maybe I should rephrase the question... I KNOW, even though (you're correct, i haven't sent invitations) that my Mom and Dad will be coming. Do I put them at separate tables? I can't do a "mom's people table" and a "dad's people table" because people within each side of the family don't get along well either... 

    I know I shouldn't be worrying this far ahead, but I literally can't sleep at night with all the thoughts I have running around about every thing. Maybe we should elope haha

    Thanks!
  • vsgalvsgal member
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Don't put them together if you know they are going to fight.  That being said, I find it very disturbing that they can't put their whatevers aside for one day at your wedding.  They need to put on their big girl and boy pants and suck it up.  Now, that being said, there is no reason for you to be worrying about this right now.  School or no school, this is step #5436 on the list and you are haven't even reached step #415--sending out the invites.  Relax and don't work yourself up over this right now.  It is too early. 

    ROCK IS KING!!
  • pfjc62511pfjc62511 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks... just getting it out of my head on paper has made me feel a bit better about it. I know it's silly to worry about such things at this stage in the game, I'm just really good at worrying haha.

    I agree it's sad... they CAN put their differences aside, but they do so in a way that it's just awkward and uncomfortable to be around them. He's moved on, my mom is still stuck on "how could you" mode as well as rebellious teenager mode. She kicked me out of her house because i started talking to my dad, and my dad promptly moved 2,000 miles away after we started trying to develop a relationship and now we don't talk hardly at all. I'm not even sure I want my dad to walk me down the aisle, but in the sick twisted way that i'm sure some part of him really cares about me, i think that would probably be devastating to him... 

    Like i said... my family is just... beyond help. Lucky for me, I absolutely ADORE all of my FH's family members!

    Thanks again for letting me vent and whatever suggestions people have i'm open to. Consensus so far is, don't worry about it, so i'll try not to :)
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Get a shitton of counseling and elope.

    Seriously, it's not worth worrying about a year out. If they're this difficult, why include them?
    image
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_reception-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:35c408b1-ef93-427e-a984-5c14d8b6f5a7Post:d1fc39cc-72d1-4c60-8d20-338cfe591b6a">Reception Seating</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok... here's my issue. My wedding is still about a year away and I'm already so stressed about seating arrangements I can't bare to think about it. My parents are divorced, my mom's parents are divorced, my dad's brother is divorced, my mom's sister will likely be divorced in the near future... Yes I know, bodes well for my future doesn't it?  My concern is if i put the divorcees at the same table, someone might end up killing someone else. OR, they will pretend to like each other so they don't upset me, but the tension will be so unbelievable the whole night will be like walking on eggshells.  Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
    Posted by pfjc62511[/QUOTE]
    Just because. 
    image
  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Why not have a mom's table and a dad's table and ask THEM who they would like seated at their table.  If they have family members they don't get along with they probably will not choose those people. They will probably chose family.


  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just let them host their own tables, and let them each choose who sits at their tables.
    Married 10/2/10
  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto quotequeen. That would probably be the best way to avoid confrontation, as they would be sitting with people they enjoy.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_reception-seating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:35c408b1-ef93-427e-a984-5c14d8b6f5a7Post:51b77ca8-4ad0-45e2-808a-f8d3578d2e44">Re: Reception Seating</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just let them host their own tables, and let them each choose who sits at their tables.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    This is what I am doing.  My parents are divorced and each will host their own table at the reception.  In between their 2 individual tables will be my FI's parents table.  They are each choosing who they want at their own tables.  I would not dream of seating my parents together at the reception.  They don't hate each other, but they are not each other's biggest fan, needless to say. I want each of them to enjoy their night as much as I will and allowing them each their own space will ensure that.
  • JenO24JenO24 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You really shouldn't be stressing yourself out about this already.
    Take a deep breath and forget about it.
    You haven't sent out invites yet so you don't need the unnecessary stress of a steating chart (who sits w/ who b/c of family drama).
    You will get way too overwhelmed planning a wedding if you try to figure out all the details in the beginning all at once.
    Take things as you have to in the planning process...this way you'll stay sane and not a crazed bride!
    imageAnniversary
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