Previous Marriage Must Be Listed? Ugh.

JoyNJosh14

I wasn't aware that my fiance's previous marriage had to be listed on OUR marriage license.  I really don't understand this and it's driving me nuts.  What girl wants to look at her marriage license and see that someone is on there too??  To be honest, I'm frickin pissed! 
Am I the only one who feels this way?  I know it's a piece of paper...but this is my first wedding.  I'd like it to be special. 

Bad day

JoyNJosh14

Thank you for the awesome advice Wifezzilla.

MinM

Well, given you said you feel this way....

I'll always have a problem with feeling like I'm competing with the first wife.  He's been married before...and I havent.  I didn't start out trying to up one with his previous wedding but I can already feel like I'm gonna be doing that soon.  He's reassured me over and over, "it's OUR wedding day...it's going to be wonderful....its not about how much money you spend, not at all.  It's about the heart the couple puts into the wedding and the little things they notice ....and how happy we are together"  Sounds perfect, right?  But I still cant seem to help how I feel


I don't know what we can do for you.

TheDuckis

What are you planning to frame the license or something? The only time I've even looked at mine was when I went to get my name changed, and even then I only looked closely enough to know I was bringing the right document with me.

The (much) bigger problem is that you can't seem to get past your FI's previous marriage. If it's that big of an issue to you, why did you start dating him in the first place?

renegade gaucho

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_previous-marriage-must-listed-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:3667ab44-c2e1-44d8-838a-a24f7a7b176cPost:132a2a14-f224-45e4-b53f-206bb0fdedd8">Previous Marriage Must Be Listed? Ugh.</a>:
[QUOTE]I wasn't aware that my fiance's previous marriage had to be listed on OUR marriage license.  I really don't understand this and it's driving me nuts.  What girl wants to look at her marriage license and see that someone is on there too??  To be honest, I'm frickin pissed!  Am I the only one who feels this way?  I know it's a piece of paper...but <strong>this is my first wedding.  I'd like it to be special.</strong>  Bad day
Posted by JoyNJosh14[/QUOTE]

LOL!

zsazsa-stl

You could move to another state. I'm pretty sure that h's ex's name is not on our certificate. Or you could buy a bottle of white out.

DG1

Agreed re: marriage license. Ours is in a locked fire safe in the basement, where it has been for all but about 2 days in the last 5.5 years. It's fugly - I wouldn't want to frame it or anything. We framed the invite instead.

If you're having trouble with the previous marriage thing, surely there are places to go to get info from others who have been through it.

ZsaZsaSTL is a regular on this board, but she's OOT this week. Her husband was married before.  Somehow I think she's the only WW regular in that situation, but she might be able to give you her two cents. 

This happens ALL the time. If you're sure he's happy about not being with her anymore, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

mrsconn23

It's a state to state issue.  DH's previous marriage is not listed on our marriage license.

I've taken our marriage license out maybe 2X since we got married.  When I changed everything at the bank/soc sec office and to send it in for my passport.

We have a million copies of DH's divorce decree floating around because we send it with the kiddo if he travels without us (like he did when he went to TX w/my parents before I did).

::shrugs::  I've never been bothered by DH's previous marriage.  It happened and now it's over.  And now we're married.

ReturnOfKuus

If you don't want to marry someone who has been married before, then don't marry someone who has been married before.

WHY is this so hard for people to get?

kellbell1919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_previous-marriage-must-listed-ugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:3667ab44-c2e1-44d8-838a-a24f7a7b176cPost:86e8c528-3ccd-46a3-b28a-ef9499257bee">Re: Previous Marriage Must Be Listed? Ugh.</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, given you said you feel this way....<strong> I'll always have a problem with feeling like I'm competing with the first wife</strong>.  He's been married before...and I havent.  I didn't start out trying to up one with his previous wedding but I can already feel like I'm gonna be doing that soon.  He's reassured me over and over, "it's OUR wedding day...it's going to be wonderful....its not about how much money you spend, not at all.  It's about the heart the couple puts into the wedding and the little things they notice ....and how happy we are together"  Sounds perfect, right?  But I still cant seem to help how I feel I don't know what we can do for you.
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]
Well that sounds like an enjoyable way to live....not only would I get sick of feeling insecure, but I can bet you $$ DH would get sick of constantly having to reassure me.  Therapy, stat.