I don't know if I still want to get married!!!

ashachilds

I am about to pull out all of my hair. The funny thing about all this wedding stuff is that I have not been stressed out about finding a venue, picking colors, picking a dress, flowers, or even food. My stress has come from me and my fiance trying to please everyone in our family about the wedding. I really do not want a big wedding and would rather just go to the courthouse, but he said that was selfish because we have told all of our family!!! I thought that the wedding was about us and no one else! I love my family, but we both have huge families. I mean huge. Our tenative guests list is at 300 people!!! What the heck??!! Who is going to feed these folks???!! People are asking for an invitation, but no one is offering help. Not that I want anyone to help me and my fiance pay for the wedding, but that is a lot of money to dish out just for a show for our families or a party just for them to come and attend. Also my fiance found a wedding planner for me to reduce the stress who questions everyone of my ideas???!!!! What? She is suppose to help me create my wedding vision and not make me look stupid!! Especial when my ideas are things that everyone is doing such as different bride's maid dresses. I mean they will be the same color and fabric. She told me this would look tacky?!?!! What?! All my friends are not the same size and will not look good in the same dress. Anyway, just wanted to vent.

katorigasuki

My stress has come from me and my fiance trying to please everyone in our family about the wedding.

this is your problem.  stop trying to please everyone else, and just please yourselves. (dirty).

seriously though, have the wedding you want.  not what your family is trying to impose on you.  you'll find it to be a lot less stressful.

ashachilds

wifezzilla-Wow. Calm the heck down. Really helpful. Yes, we have set a budget. I gave an example of the wedding planner questioning my views on things such as the bride's maid dresses. No I am not going to pull out my hair it really was an expression as I was venting to other brides. That is all.

katorigasuki - Thank you. My problem comes with trying to get my fiance to understand it is about us and what we want and not pleasing everyone.

*Barbie*

have the wedding that you want and CAN AFFORD TODAY. 

if this means going to a courthouse and having dinner at a nice restaurant with your immediate families, then do that. 

.. also WTF at the wedding planner - who is paying for her, and what is she doing *for* you. We successfully got married without a planner, and you can too. I'd say to fire her if she's not doing anything to help you, and save the added cost.

Mrs.Thistletwat

You do need to calm down, actually. And take it as good advice. You can't think clearly when you're wound up.

If you are the ones paying for the wedding then you are the ones who say who comes and who doesn't. No matter who is asking for an invitation. If that means upsetting people, then so be it. You are footing the bill. You need to be able to afford it.

Your FI needs to calm the hell down and realize that you do not need your 16th cousins twice removed. Invite the people most important to you and don't freak out over distant relatives.

ashachilds

I probably do need to calm down. I was just offended by the delivery. The wedding planner did not just question the dresses, but the venue, the food, the decorations, the flowers, and whatever else two cents she had to add. I am not going to use her it was just aggravating at the time.

For everyone who replies, please don't take me as an overwhlemed freak. I was just venting my feelings. I am not going around screaming and crying like a bridezilla. Just some thoughts running through my mind.

ashachilds

Thank you for the advice. No we did not hire her. It was just a consultation thank goodness.  I am fine once I vented. I just need to explain to the fiance that inviting the whole city is not the way to go. Someone is bound to be offended or hurt and there is nothing we can do about it.