Wedding Woes

This sort of pisses me off

On every bump board, someone has posted a message about having a moment of silence for a Bumpie whose son died suddenly. They are also asking people to remove their signatures for like 24 hours.

Maybe I'm callous but this is just stupid to me. I feel horrible for that woman, and after reading the story it is tragic as it was unexpected and horrifying.

But I've seen several posts on the board where women lose children during pregnancy, shortly after, and even months after. It's not right and not fair but i can't ever recall at time where they wanted a moment of silence. Yes, it's a message board. But really....it's a message board. I'm sure that woman is just waiting around to know that no one posted on The Bump for 10 minutes in memory of her dead kid, and those that do are now just horrible hateful people in her eyes.

Re: This sort of pisses me off

  • fishgirl77fishgirl77 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I find the need for gestures to be a bit much.  It's undoubtedly a tragedy, but all tragedies don't need a coordinated public gesture.

    It will also probably start a fight between the posters that take down their sigs and those at don't.

  • edited December 2011
    I actually agreed with you until I read the post by the mother.  Her son was over a year old, and was a healthy boy until he just got a fever and got sick, possibly from swine flu. It would have been one thing if he was a miscarriage or preemie newborn that they see on that board every day, but this they don't.  Here is the mother's post

    http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/26667505.aspx
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  • edited December 2011
    That's a little overboard IMO.
  • nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agreed, Pmoney.  Sure, it's tragic but a message board moment of silence is a load of bullshizz.  Who the hell cares about internet strangers?  And what is a moment of board silence or missing siggies going to do/mean for the mother?  Probably nothing. 

    And I read the mother's OP - it's hella sad, but my coldass heart wonders how genuine it is b/c I know I wouldn't be able to make a post about my dead child and end it as a message to warn other parents.  Bull.  I'd be a motherclucking wreck for ... well, IDK.  A really long time.  A GBCK would be in order b/c I'd be a psych ward patient.

    I am sorry for her loss, but children die every day and I don't see the world going around with special moments of silence for every dead child.  ::shrug:: 

    I'll be in my igloo if you need me.
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  • edited December 2011
    I've been on the bump a few times since then, and I'm assuming it wasn't really followed, for one a lot of people still have their siggys up, and no one really seems bothered by it.  I would guess that the people who "knew" her and talked to her a lot will follow it, those that never have heard of her probably won't, and there aren't any arguments that I've seen.  A few people just have little messages that say why they don't have a siggy, but thats about it. Apparently there was also a post picking apart hers and explaining all the reasons why they believed it was fake, but that was taken down before I got to see it.  The mother's post was also a follow-up to a post she made when the fever first appeared.
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  • jessjo04jessjo04 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was following this over the break. It does seem a bit much. I don't think there is much a message board can do to ease her pain. I think being there to talk to her is enough- I don't think a moment of silence or coordinated signature will lessen her sorrow.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Oh please.  The difference between this and our feelings over Wzz's situation?  Why are other boards not allowed to feel the same thing?  I do think it is coldhearted and I cannot figure out WTF it would matter to you anyway. If you do not want to do it, do not.  But her friends on these boards, which I tend to think of this board as my friends, might want to do something that makes her feel significant.

    As far as if it was MUD or not, that is totally different.
  • anskaggsanskaggs member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sometimes people react to tragedy by reaching out to EVERYONE.  I know that's what I do. I know people don't particularly want to hear about it, but I can't help but tell people my whole story when I've very stressed and very upset.  I'm sure this is all she was doing, I'm sure it wasn't just for attention.

    Maybe you think that the moment of silence or whatever is overboard, but that is how these people are showing their support for her, and I'm sure she appreciates it, even if it doesn't help her deal with her loss much. It isn't like they can give her a hug or make her a meal like someone could do in person. Don't participate if you don't want to, but don't get upset because other people are trying to show their condolences.
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