Wedding Woes

STRESSED! PLEASE HELP ME

Can we take a look at my month so far?

March 1st, day off from work, so I go see my mom because she is having a tough time that I moved out..over a year ago lol with my fiancé and we bought a house. When I'm there she tells me that my dad's coming home...his job is done in Nevada and he’s driving home as we speak.  He’s not going to another job because he has doctor appointments lined up for his heart - How Fantastic. I don't think my parents will be able to help us at all with the wedding.  My mom and I go to the bridal shop to try on some dresses and new ones that came in...I still can't make a choice..nor the money. and just the sound of my phone and text thinking that its my mother gives me actual anxiety..like heart racing and pure panic because she treats me like a 5yr old doesn't like my fiancé because he treats me like an adult..and thats just a whole other story.
March 2nd...i lost my job. While my fiancé was coming home that night from being away for a few days on business...o ya and by the way March 6..HAPPY 3 years babe! lets have a nice romantic hotel stay for our anniversary and i just lost my job. Ohh!! thank you for my real Chanel sunglasses that you got for me while you were away..I'm sorry you need to return these so you can pay for groceries! and i have no health insurance.
March 9th, got a phone interview..o thank you lord! The past week I was on the phone with my one friend day in and day out updating my resume and online 24/7 looking at 7 different job sites...no joke..just refreshing the page every 20 seconds. Finally told my parents that night because they give me anxiety and feel like a failure in their eyes.
Have I mentioned that the house is a diaster..you would think that with no job you would do all these things that you never have time to do...like the laundry and cleaning and cooking from scratch..no, you just sit in the corner of the couch on the computer obsessing over emails and job sites and "linked in.com" has become the new facebook. In the mean time I had my fiance write an email to our venue and say "I'm sorry, we're having a personal issue so we can't give you a deposit...please hold our date!" I have nothing going for the wedding yet...
March 11th, I got the job! I don't start till March 16th... o we have like 3000 of bills due for March...good thing i save money.
March 14th my fiancé has a mini breakdown...stress from work..me not working...and his been going to the gym every day and a trainer and no results because he is so stressed and feels that he is failing at everything...even me because he started putting numbers together for the wedding and doesn't know the first thing to do and he wants me to have everything that i want for the wedding.  He thought a honeymoon to Europe was going to cost 5000...ya for plane tickets and one night stay at a 3 star hotel.
March 17th, had my first day yesterday...can we say crazy town?

DId I tell you that I'm a little stressed and just don't know what to do first? How do all of you get things together? how do your houses look? lol I would just like to know any special tips that help you keep everything together?


Re: STRESSED! PLEASE HELP ME

  • edited December 2011
    Dude, take a deep breath. No one is dying, are they? What to do first? Some laundry and concentrate on doing well at your job.
    image
  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_stressed-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:3efea167-fdff-468a-8c66-12ebb03b91ffPost:cd2540f5-7714-4aca-b900-2a58ab4c26a9">STRESSED! PLEASE HELP ME</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can we take a look at my month so far? March 1st, day off from work, so I go see my mom because she is having a tough time that I moved out..over a year ago lol with my fiancé and we bought a house. When I'm there she tells me that my dad's coming home...his job is done in Nevada and he’s driving home as we speak.  He’s not going to another job because he has doctor appointments lined up for his heart - How Fantastic. I don't think my parents will be able to help us at all with the wedding.  My mom and I go to the bridal shop to try on some dresses and new ones that came in...I still can't make a choice..nor the money. and just the sound of my phone and text thinking that its my mother gives me actual anxiety..like heart racing and pure panic because she treats me like a 5yr old doesn't like my fiancé because he treats me like an adult..and thats just a whole other story. March 2nd...i lost my job. While my fiancé was coming home that night from being away for a few days on business...o ya and by the way March 6..HAPPY 3 years babe! lets have a nice romantic hotel stay for our anniversary and i just lost my job. Ohh!! thank you for my real Chanel sunglasses that you got for me while you were away..I'm sorry you need to return these so you can pay for groceries! and i have no health insurance. March 9th, got a phone interview..o thank you lord! The past week I was on the phone with my one friend day in and day out updating my resume and online 24/7 looking at 7 different job sites...no joke..just refreshing the page every 20 seconds. Finally told my parents that night because they give me anxiety and feel like a failure in their eyes. Have I mentioned that the house is a diaster..you would think that with no job you would do all these things that you never have time to do...like the laundry and cleaning and cooking from scratch..no, you just sit in the corner of the couch on the computer obsessing over emails and job sites and "linked in.com" has become the new facebook. In the mean time I had my fiance write an email to our venue and say "I'm sorry, we're having a personal issue so we can't give you a deposit...please hold our date!" I have nothing going for the wedding yet... March 11th, I got the job! I don't start till March 16th... o we have like 3000 of bills due for March...good thing i save money. March 14th my fiancé has a mini breakdown...stress from work..me not working...and his been going to the gym every day and a trainer and no results because he is so stressed and feels that he is failing at everything...even me because he started putting numbers together for the wedding and doesn't know the first thing to do and he wants me to have everything that i want for the wedding.  He thought a honeymoon to Europe was going to cost 5000...ya for plane tickets and one night stay at a 3 star hotel. March 17th, had my first day yesterday...can we say crazy town? DId I tell you that I'm a little stressed and just don't know what to do first? How do all of you get things together? how do your houses look? lol I would just like to know any special tips that help you keep everything together?
    Posted by smt861[/QUOTE]


    My house generally looks like crap, and I tend to hate myself for it, but I do manage to keep that in perspective. 
    <em>
    "Japanese nuclear worker on the news: "I am prepared to die to avoid meltdown." Say it with me--I will not complain about my job today."</em>
    <u><a href="http://twitter.com/#" rel="nofollow">http://twitter.com/#</a>!/kevinkindred/status/48336775889948672</u>


    uh-huh.

    image
  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I once saw on Oprah that this wedding party was hit by a drunk driver on the way from a wedding and the brides niece was decapitated and her head landed in her mothers lap. She picked it up and cradled it along the highway. That is pretty horrific.
    image
  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Maybe your mother treats you like a child because you expect her to support you. 

    Pay for your own wedding, establish boundaries with your mother, and calm the fck down. Life isn't this hard. 
    image
  • MarieP06MarieP06 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Have you thought of having a less expensive honeymoon and planning on a European Vacation for an Anniversary trip in the future? There are much less expensive options to cut down on costs that can be very romantic/adventurous. Also, check out the Budget Community for help on cutting costs but not quality. Congrats on your new job. It always takes time to adjust. I understand how your Mom can make you anxious. Mine did too, she passed about a year ago and even though it was not the easiest relation ship I'd love to have a chance to try again to improve my end of it. I was born in Upstate N.Y. and know they have lot's of beautiful honeymoon options in the state and in nearby states. The best/most important part of the honeymoon is for you two to have time alone together to relish in your love and new beginning. You can do that anywhere. Two books that I have found helpful are:Bridal Bargains by Denise&Alan Fields and Budget Weddings for Dummies. (you don't have to be dumb to get something out of it..ha ha) You can read excerpts on Amazon. I hope this helps. I know feeling overwhelmed is not fun. Try to breath and enjoy the adventure of planning.

  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_stressed-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:3efea167-fdff-468a-8c66-12ebb03b91ffPost:51f5fa34-65ab-4b0d-91cd-0ef36548fed7">Re: STRESSED! PLEASE HELP ME</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dude, take a deep breath. <strong>No one is dying, are they</strong>? What to do first? Some laundry and concentrate on doing well at your job.
    Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]

    Well her Dad might be...
    OP, I hope you didn't mean it this way, but you sounded incredibly callous and selfish when you say that your dad is having serious heart trouble, but that the cause of stress is that that means his out of work / ill health will keep your parents from contributing to your wedding. I'm hoping that you meant your Father's ill health is stressful to you emotionally, and that it does unfortuantely add on some financial stress as well since you lost your job and are wondering how to get things together for the wedding.

    However, it also sounds like you moved very quickly on the job front and got another one lined up, you have savings to pay the bills with, and on the whole things are looking up. So relax, realize that you have things well in hand, and stop freaking out because at this point your'e freaking out over nothing. if you still didn't have a job i'd understand, but according to your timeline you started your new job yesterday... finances are going to get back in order, life is going to go on. You're good.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
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  • DG1DG1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Also, if two weeks of unemployment has you stressed about actual bills AND gives yoru fiance a mini-breakdown, then learn to put down the "real Chanel sunglasses." 

    4 realz.

    image
  • smt861smt861 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    umm LoveMuffins..and Marie THANK YOU    as for the others...ummm WTF!?  I'm 24yrs old...and I AM paying for the wedding...and my parents have financial issues in the first place that I don't agree with and they say they can help with the wedding but in the end I can't count on them.  and yes my dad...he came home instead of going to another job because of feeling like something was going wrong with his heart...he already has a stent in his one artery and he has other health issue..hes 62 yrs old.  I would like him to be there to walk me down the isle!  I thought on here everyone helps out and gives tips but wow...I just wanted to see if anyone has any tips who has planned a wedding and had other things going on and what they did...instead the first 4 comments werent very nice...thanks alot
  • edited December 2011
    Do you mean aisle?

    My mom is 61 and has a stent in her chest and I want her to live as long as possible, too. I don't think anyone is taking objection to that. But rather, that your primary concern is them not paying for your wedding, not your father's health.
    image
  • salsamcgsalsamcg member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    12 whole days of unemployment and your fiance's workouts aren't going like he'd hoped?

    I hope your father is fine. He is the only person I feel bad for in this whole long post.

    Clean your house. Learn to do well at your new job. That's my advice.

    So far as the wedding goes, if you absolutely must have every little thing you've ever dreamed of then save up and/or postpone.  Europe will probably have to wait but I'm fairly certain there are much worse things in life than having to say "Honey maybe we will have to go to France next year instead of this one."  

    The point here is: get some perspective.
    TTC since December '11 -- stopped BC
    No cycle for 3 months
    Diagnosed PCOS/anovulatory in March '12 and started Clomid 100 mg
    2 cycles of Clomid 100 mg - nothing
    1 cycle of Clomid 150 mg - nothing but thinned lining
    1 cycle of Femara - nothing
    Started Gonal-F + Ovidrel + TI 6/28/12 -- BFN
    Started Follistim + Ovidrel + TI 8/1/12 -- Fingers crossed
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