Random #1

NOLABridesmaid

Ok. Y'all I'm dealing with some special  parents this year.

Would you make your kid repeat 7th grade even if they passed?

Would you hold them back because they started school early and you feel that they aren't mature enough/too small in size for 8th grade?

The kid is bugging out, and the parents are holding strong.

Do tell?

VarunaTT

Um, no.  I can almost see their point, but it's like they're letting the bullies win at that point.

Which reminds me of something I meant to share with y'all.

mrsconn23

I'm so sorry for that kid.  His parents are whackadoodles.

Heffalump

I recently read an article on this--apparently it's a recent trend, but research has shown that the kids who are held back aren't any better off than those who aren't.

So no, I would never hold a kid back for that reason--especially against their will. 

jojobrn

He passed and they want to hold him back? That's...odd. I know of people who held their young kiddos out of kindergarten for an extra year, but 7th grade? A little late.

MinM

NO! Kid is going to resent them forever if they do this.

NOLABridesmaid

Jo, KG is the time to do it. I just don't see how this is going to help the kid, and not back fire in the long run.

Kid is small, but he is getting picked on. I think they are so hypersensitive.

Oh! They want him to eat on 8th grade lunch with his friends.  Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

NOLABridesmaid

is=isn't

MinM

OK - that makes NO sense at all. He passed the cirriculum, but you're going to make him repeat it. And then, you want him to keep socializing with the people who got to move on? What kind of sense does that make? Wouldn't they be keeping him back so he would be socializing with people his own size/in his own grade?

Mrs.Thistletwat

parents need to STFU. If they wanted to hold their kid back because of his size/implied maturity then they should have done it in the k-3 years, NOT Jr. High.

pegasuskat

As a parent of 3 shorter than average children, I say no.  We actually went thru this with a teacher my middle child had in the 3rd grade. She did fine, passed all year, but the teacher tried to talk us into this.  She said that DD was just sooo little, yeah shes 23 and only 4-10 so I guess she should have just dropped out all together.  My H was barely restrained and when our youngest was at this school the teacher was then the principal and he refused to deal with her at all.

baconsmom

What the what. Don't they know that bored kids drop out? Seriously - no. 

MinM

I started early and was small for my grade until I had my growth spurt between 7 & 8 grade. I one summer I went from being one of the smallest to one of the tallest kids. And you know what, kids aren't just teased because of their size - they also get made fun of for repeating a grade.

6fsn

I've heard this with kindergarten and usually a little more with boys.  For a borderline birthdate (sept- oct) I would opt to wait a year. 

7th grade no way. 

NOLABridesmaid

Zilla, most are on grade level, but we have some old 8th graders too.

I think that parents should be an advocate for their children, but some parents really go to the extreme, and never allow them to learn any kind of coping skills.

Is it a parent's job to solve every issue the child has?

Sloane99

There was a group of about 8 of us that started kindergarten a year early, just due to birthdates, our parents got to make the decision to put us through to first grade or stay another year in KG after consulting with the teacher but it was made clear that this was a one shot deal and couldn't change later (assuming of course we all passed each subsequent year) because of the social consequences of holding us back at a later point.

DG1

Interesting.  I fully agree with all of the above. 7th grade is way too late, and he needs to be able to find a way to deal with the bullying and not be bored in school, etc.

But I will say that this is something that I think about often, as the parent of a kid with an Oct 4 birthday.  He's not even 2 and can already do half of the stuff that's listed on the kindergarten curriculum, so I can't imagine having to wait until he's a few weeks shy of SIX to send him to school.  Then again, I was the youngest in my class for that same reason, and it was kindof tough to be the youngest (or maybe it's what kept me away from the drugs and parties. Who knows?)

Emotionally ready vs. intellectually ready vs. all of the other crap about having older friends.  Hell, we're dealing with it now in daycare - all of his friends just moved up to the next room, and he's not eligible (by law) until his 2nd birthday. So now he's bored out of his brain in the toddler room.  We had the same issue when he was moving from the infant room to the toddler room.  Always wants to be with the older kids (and, so far, can hold his own physically and mentally with them). 

OK, that got long.  You're right, NOLA, that mom is a whackadoo.

GBCK

I think the age/maturity thing is more complicated than people realize.

As a may birthday (about to give birth to an aug/sept birthday)--it's hard.

But I will say that my dad ws a teacher/counselor for almost 40 years at a middle school level (we were discussing this recently)...and he says he can count on one hand the # of times double-skipping a kid (moving them up a grade) was a good thing and the # of times holding them back for maturity (maturity alone, not amaturity combined w/ kinda-crappy grades) was a good thing.
the other 99.9999% of the time, it was better to leave it be.

And bored kids drop out...but so do 'bullied' kids.  Of course, the line between 'picked on' and 'bullied' is NOT as clear-cut as people seem to think it is.  (easy for me to say now, while my kid isn't picking on any one/being bullied, but, still)

I'm inclined to think mom is a whackadoo and they need to work on confidence for their kid--OUTSIDE of school most likely.  Martial arts class anyone?