Here is our main dilemma (one of the two)... I am from Canada, my fiance from the US. He is deployed at the moment and we are waiting for my Visa so we can get married and I can move there. He is from MI, me from ON, but he is posted in NY, which is just over 2hrs from where my family and friends live, but 8hrs from where his family is.
We originally decided to have the wedding in NY because we can get the best deal, location etc... plus it's close to the majority of people. Now that his mom has told him no one will come that far for our wedding (budget and distance) he won't get married there, because he will be embarrassed having '3' family members there. I offered to pay for the hotel rooms but it's still 'no'. He just wants to axe the whole 'wedding' and just get married south with only our parents and one sibling. I have a very close and decent sized family, both of my parents are with new partners and so with the minimum people included, I will have at least 35 guests no matter where we go, they will come and I will want them there. My family can afford to make the trip. He doesn't actually care if his extended family is at the wedding or not (in fact he doesn't keep in touch with them much), he is more concerned about being embarrassed that no one would make the trip for him. I said we'll just have the wedding near his family then but he doesn't like that because he know it will upset my family, seeing as they will be paying for a larger portion. It's not going to be formal, we want a laid back but nice outdoor wedding. I really don't care where it is as long as it's not in a basement/banquet setting...
What should I do? I want to make him happy and not stress him out, this wedding is for US, not about us making people happy which is some concerns he has. On the same hand, I want and need my family there. We have always been close and I will be moving away, which will be very hard on them (not to mention I am the only girl among all the grandkids and the oldest). He has already moved away from his family. The main reason why this is an issue is because we got engaged before his tour but have not made an official announcement yet, so most of the people don't actually know. We can't talk to them about it for another month, but with our Visa coming up we need to pre-plan things.
Thanks guys - sorry for the long message!T