Re-do Guest List after Invites have already been sent out?

LindsayB830

Hi!  Ok, I'd hate to do this, but after sending out the invites, my bonus at work was less than expected so I can't afford the food for everyone invited. 

When we started out with the wedding thing, we wanted like 20 people and it just to be a nice party with food, drinks and music.  Just a chill night and extrememly informal.  Our family is huge and when you invite one you have to invite them all because everyone is so close.

So, now that I cannot afford the current wedding we are having, how do I tell everyone that already got invites, that we are going to go to the beach with our parents and get married with no one else there.

Is that rude or will people understand?  It sucks and I want to see everyone, all 100 of them, but I can't afford it now and I am 51 days away from the wedding!

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_re-guest-list-after-invites-already-sent-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:411e06c3-c6fa-40ec-aa9d-7160aaf7587bPost:e59a28d4-0f1b-4b85-ac16-30bad330c482">Re-do Guest List after Invites have already been sent out?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi!  Ok, I'd hate to do this, but after sending out the invites, my bonus at work was less than expected so I can't afford the food for everyone invited.  When we started out with the wedding thing, we wanted like 20 people and it just to be a nice party with food, drinks and music.  Just a chill night and extrememly informal.  Our family is huge and when you invite one you have to invite them all because everyone is so close. So, now that I cannot afford the current wedding we are having, how do I tell everyone that already got invites, that we are going to go to the beach with our parents and get married with no one else there. Is that rude or will people understand?  It sucks and I want to see everyone, all 100 of them, but I can't afford it now and I am 51 days away from the wedding!
Posted by LindsayB830[/QUOTE]


First, please say you learned your lesson about spending money you don't have. Until the money is IN YOUR POCKET, you don't have it. Promises are empty and circumstances change all the time.

Also, don't send out invitations too early. 60 days is fairly standard. You couldn't wait 9 days to find out for sure what your bonus was?

It is rude.  But people might understand anyway.  Please thank them for their good wishes and return any gifts they sent you.

How many people are we talking about here? How much less was your bonus vs. your expectations?

I hope no one was coming from OOT and will have nonrefundable plane tickets to deal with.

Sounds like you are stuck in a sht sandwich, for realz. Sucks to be you.

hboo2011

That's very... I don't even know the words I'm looking for. But I do hope lesson learned.  

Instead of calling people to tell them you're basically eloping, couldn't you just scale back the wedding? Still have 100 people, but just to a limited bar option (beer n wine only), or buffet style food, ipod music instead of DJ, sheet cake from Sam's Club instead of formal cake from bakery, etc.  If you review the budget boards, there are definately ways to scale back so you could afford all the people.

kmmssg

Scale down the food and drinks to something gracious but cost effective.  If the invitations have gone out you really can't uninvite them.

perkins81

Go to the bank and get a small loan. Problem solved -