I keep thinking the drama is over

6fsn

DH's department is getting sold.  They will no longer be state employees or get university benefits.

The mill called again.

TheMrsC23

Holy schit.  

MNNEBride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-keep-thinking-the-drama-is-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:4143d826-6857-4d31-abcb-1d6afd5a12f7Post:c9923afa-1c2a-40c9-a394-7fc4adb2db7a">I keep thinking the drama is over</a>:
[QUOTE]DH's department is getting sold.  They will no longer be state employees or get university benefits. The mill called again.
Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

Holy Crap!   Will they be contractors that work at the U?  T & P with you guys while this plays out.

tawillers

What?!  Good grief.

alikatt17

WTF!

6fsn

They would be sold to a private company.  So, it's likely his pay would increase, but his benefits would decrease.  If they even keep him  This could take years, but it's something a lot of universities are going to.  They just aren't in the utilities business and in 2013 it's becoming more obvious (ex- the safety stuff).

I'm just praying the mill doesn't offer anything except consulting stuff.

Oh, and a friends husband applied for the mill job.  He's currently working in KY while the family is still in BFE.  She keeps commenting that he hasn't heard a word and he's dying to hear.

DixieNormous330

While the transition is going on, would Mr. 6 still be an university employee or would be essentially be a transitional free agent?

PMeg819

Eek. Good luck to you guys.

AuntFlo

Oh man.  What a PITA.

6fsn

He'd be a U employee until fina sale.

VarunaTT

Blerg, 6.  I'm sorry you're going through this.  Good luck with everything.

dharmabunny

Yikes!

zsazsa-stl

Booooo!  If he sticks it out at the university but then hates it or they cut him, are there other opportunities for him in town?  Or is he so specialized that you would be looking for a mill somewhere (and thus a move)?

Wzz

this may take a while, so you guys have time to really let the worry set it.

NOLABridesmaid

6, don't claim worry or stress about this. I just let a ton of work stress go. The battle is not your's but The Lord's. I heard that message yesterday in church, and I have claimed it. Things are already moving in the right direction at work today.

Claim it, Girl.

*Barbie*

I know you guys don't have family down here, but there's a ton of work for engineers in Houston. we have Targets and malls and zoos. BFE isn't necessarily the answer for relocation. ;-)

good luck. i'm sure everything will work out. 

Wzz

BFE isn't necessarily the answer for relocation. ;-)

^^ This.

if you guys are willing to relocate to BFE, then why not try looking outside of the area in a different direction if he has to look for new jobs.

6fsn

We'd never move to texas.  Neither of us want to be that far.  I told DH there are more than 2 jobs in the world.  I also took what wz said last time and asked if he would want to go back if they weren't offering.  He turned them down last time 2 days before he found out about the sale. 

Nola- Thank you very much.  I give things to God constantly.  One problem is that DH is in a different place.

DG1

Oh good grief. I'm sorry. That really sucks. Hell, I might take the crappest job at a university just for the tuition benefits for the kids.

And as much as I'd love to get on the BIG relocation bandwagon, I can't imagine moving away from grandparents with 3 kids. Hell, that's a good chunk of the reason I never even bring it up with H myself.

Either way, like you say, the sale could take YEARS, and a lot can happen between now and then. And some mill consulting would rock. 

Vibes for you, girl.

hmonkey

COME ON, LOTTO!

Wzz

6 - despite getitng into your personal business, have you considered going back to work soon, so your H doesn't feel the burden of all the income on his shoulders? maybe that's why he's so torn about the mill, and why he's in a different place. i know that if H were th sole breadwinner, he'd happily work 20-hour days 7 days a week. it's a pride thing.

good luck. you know i can relate, BTW.

DG1

Honestly, after taxes, work wardrobe, commuting costs, and daycare for 3 kids, including an infant? I don't think anyone on this board has that kind of earning power. Even if the math worked out, the stress would make it SO not worth it.

I think anyone, regardless of whether they are the sole breadwinner, would look hard at a 50% raise. 

(6, is it awesome to see all of your thoughts spelled out in a message board? Because we sure are having fun.  

6fsn

wz- his different place is that he doesn't believe in God.  I have been applying for parttime stuff.  Fulltime would put us behind.

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-keep-thinking-the-drama-is-over?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:4143d826-6857-4d31-abcb-1d6afd5a12f7Post:277954e9-4024-4658-95dd-ccf4f57a29d5">Re: I keep thinking the drama is over</a>:
[QUOTE]wz- his different place is that he doesn't believe in God.  I have been applying for parttime stuff.  Fulltime would put us behind.
Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

<div>Whoah. I knew he didn't go to church with you, but I didn't realize he was a straight up atheist. I now have a zillion questions that are none of my business, so ignore at will - </div><div>
</div><div>How does that work? How far is he on the atheism scale? I know he was around at the baptisms, you got married in the church, etc. How does he feel about your taking the kids to church every weekend? Is 6let asking yet why dad doesn't go with you? Is this new(er), or was this all laid out before you got married?</div><div>
</div><div>H believes in god but hasn't gone to church since childhood. I've gone much farther toward atheism since we got married. We never actually discussed how we'd handle religion and children. (<-- bad engaged people!) So far, all 4 of us are just too tired to do anything but sleep in as much as possible on weekend mornings.</div><div>
</div><div>MIL is a big churchgoer and brought the kids. FIL never went, though IDK that he's an atheist. H said that's just the way it was and they didn't question it much.</div>

Wzz

i sort of knew what you meant about being in a different place (meaning, a different perspective on what is going on, theologically speaking). not all people use faith and God in their decision making anyway, even if they do believe.

DG, you sure did put a lot of thought into all of this. my word.

6fsn

DG- Short answer he falls in the "no harm.  no foul" camp. 

Long answers:
How does that work? It works by me going to church with whatever kid wants to go and him saying nothing.  We just don't talk about it honestly.  He knows that they learn about God in church and when I have mom's ministry.  The only rest we've not sent them to Sunday school is because of finances.  DH sees the Sunday school as wonderful stories that teach being a good person.  He also thinks it will help them make an informed decision.
 
How far is he on the atheism scale? I know he was around at the baptisms, you got married in the church, etc. I don't really know what the atheism scale is.  He just doesn't believe there is a God.  He doesn't go to any meetings or anything.  He also doesn't care that I believe that God has a hand in our lives and our family.  I guess he sees that it refreshes me and gives me comfort so the rest doesn't matter.

How does he feel about your taking the kids to church every weekend? Is 6let asking yet why dad doesn't go with you?  DH will go to church if 6let wants to go.  6let does ask to go and DH sees it as something he'll do for his kid.  M2 sees Church as a place to snack and shake hands and go if 6let goes.
 
Is this new(er), or was this all laid out before you got married? I knew that DH didn't like organized religion.  He said he didn't care that I wanted to raise the kids knowing my faith. I'd honestly be shocked if he ever voiced something otherwise. 

I guess it's one of those things that we agree to disagree on.  He's a good person and that's all that matters to me.

6fsn

Oh and it is kind of helpful to see the thoughts out there.

jojobrn

That is brutal 6. We haven't been there yet, but rumors are always flying about DH company being sold, if it happened we'd be in the same place of having a couple of years to sort things out and also not wanting to do a big relocation. Vibes for everything coming your way now.

notamrs

I'm sorry, 6.  It sucks having that kind of uncertainty hanging over you.  Vibes for the best possible outcome...