I want to cancel the wedding

lrowe70

just a vent here, hoping someone can relate.

I'm so stressed out I can't think straight!!!!!

The wedding is in a few weeks and I seriously want to cancel the whole thing. I know that's obviously out of the question and not realistic, but I can't take the stress and chaos.

Please note, I am 100% sure about the MARRIAGE, it's the WEDDING that is driving me batty.
 I'm so jealous of anyone who decided to elope.  We thought we'd just do a quick courthouse thing and then go on an amazing honeymoon....maybe have a fun little BBQ in our backyard for friends upon our return...  But then I came up with this stupid idea to have a big wedding bash. What was I thinking, this is turning into a full time job + overtime.

So many rules, etiquette standards, people to account for, people to please, $$$$, time, energy...involved. It seems everytime I cross 1 thing off the to-do list, 5 more items get added. I feel like my own health and well being is in jeopardy(my face is breaking out like crazy and I've gained weight).  People have suggested I hire a last minute wedding planner, but I don't have money for that sort of thing.

I have visions of the entire day being a disaster and being in tears.

Can anyone relate?  How do you cope?

angelicaSD

Take a deep breath, girl. I think this high level stress is pretty common amongst brides. The truth is we put so much heart and soul into planning, and sometimes we get ahead of ourselves (my 50 person list is now 150). Yes, it's completely stressful, not to mention expensive.. But when I work myself up, I just remember its my own high expectations that get me so anxious. I try to keep my expectations in check-- it's probably not going to be perfect, but just focus on the fact that its your wedding day, and no one can take that happiness away from you. I'm seriously just going to go in there with my plan, and pray things go the way their supposed to. But I'm also ready to have alot of fun and embrace the unpredictable parts

MsAlphaBee123

I am a bride in the same boat... theknot keeps popping up in my tool bar reminding me 79 days... 78 days.. 77 days and all I want to do is scream and run from the chaos.
Recently friends of ours went to the Bahamas and eloped, and returned and had a Memoral Day bbq with everyone... very low key, laid back and a total blast.
I was envious.
The bride was so relaxed and happy that she didn't stress over any of it.  While I am here answering phone calls from vendors, lazy bridesmaids, and my FMIL. UGGH. I feel your pain girl ... I'm  trying to take my MOH's advice and Just try and tackle one thing at a time, take a deep breath and ENJOY the experience...
I'll let you know if I make it. :-) Good luck!

[Deleted User]

I agree with everyone else...My wedding is in july and I have a huge list of stuff to do yet here I am playin around on the knot...What you need to do is tell yourself "today is a beautiful day and my wedding day will be even better". Just start thinking about how happy you will be. YES something always goes wrong on wedding days but in the end the wedding will still go on. Ive already mentally prepared myself for something to go wrong. Take one night out of the week to make time for yourself to de-stress. Rent a movie, take a bubble bath, go out on a date with your fiance. The most important thing is your health, so take a deep breath and tell yourself that you deserve this beautiful wedding and if your list is not complete by the big day, then it will still be ok. Theres always last minute things to do but in the end its all about you and your future husband.

[Deleted User]

It will all work out and come together. We are 2 weeks away and only have a few odds and ends to finish up. Not to mention we have been planning long distance.
I have had several breakdowns throughout, but you can't lose sight of what is important and that is the marriage itself. The rest is just pretty details. I am not saying it is not important bc it definitely is to me as well, but you have to keep things in perspective, don't lose sight of what really matters, and take time each day away from wedding stuff. Do something that is fun for you.

I am a highly organized person, so I just made sure I wrote a lot of notes and kept a lot of lists. It feels so good to check something off when you get it done. If you have family and friends that are willing to help you, don't be afraid to ask them, and delegate tasks to them. It will help a lot of the stres.

And don't forget to have a date night with FI and enjoy your engagement bc it goes by so fast, we are almost there and I don't know where the past 14 months have gone! You will get through this.

Lauriac

My mother makes me want to elope.

I originally wanted 30 people to watch FI and myself get married during an intermission at a college hockey game.

I was told "you can't get married in winter", "you can't get married at a hockey game" "you can't get married where you live, you need to be near us" "you can't have only 30 ppl everyone will be so upset."

Now I have 100+ ppl at a country club in September.

I tell everyone: don't have a wedding; elope; it's easier.

lrowe70

Thanks for the responses, I needed that.
I broke down and cried on my fiance's sholder last night. Believe it or not, it was actually quite helpful. He's totally calm and happy with every aspect of our wedding, while I'm turning into a basketcase. They say opposites attract! lol

I'm trying to remind myself to calm down and relax. Easier said than done, but I'm trying.

spinner84

I wanted to elope, too. In the end, the wedding was nice, but I would have preferred to elope. At this point, you have the majority of the work done, so just remember that you're over the "hump" and it will just get easier, and soon it will be done!

Theresa626

Listen, if you offend people with some sort of bad etiquette, it won't be the end of the world.  No one will remember your wedding as much as you will. So, don't worry about what everyone else thinks to the point of making yourself upset over it.  Try to relax and remember that all things shall pass and at the end of the day, you'll be married.  

quotequeen

Wedding planning is only as stressful as you let it be.  The only things you need are you, your FI and an officiant.  Everything else is just a big party.  If the details aren't perfectly aligned with the vision you had when you were 5, who is going to notice?  Nobody.