Wedding Woes

At what age are kids appropriate to have at weddings?

My fiancé's side has more kids than mine, both family and friends. I've always wanted his nieces and nephew at the wedding but thats it. Now he's feeling otherwise. I don't really want kids with the average of 8 years old running around. It's creating issues now. I don't know what to do. What do you think?

Re: At what age are kids appropriate to have at weddings?

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    Kids of any age may or may not be appropriate at weddings.  I have seen newborn babies and toddlers do just fine, and I've seen 13 year olds completely melt down over something dumb.  It entirely depends on the kid, the parents, and a bunch of other day-specific factors you cannot control.  

    You and your FI need to reach a compromise on what's going to make both of you happy.
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    Agree with PP.  The nieces and nephews at our wedding (which was our kid cut off) ranged from 3 months to 16 years.  None of them had a melt down, stole focus or cut up.  All of the parents were involved in monitoring behavior and DH and I, with the parents blessing, had a kids' room at our venue staffed by two babysitters approved by the parents. 

    You and your FI need to sit down and look at all your options, keeping in mind your wedding budget and the guest list size you want.  If you do limit kids, I would just make sure that whatever agreement you reach doesn't split up kids in a family (no arbitrary age cut offs) and doesn't pick and choose some kids within a circle over others (as in Cousin Mary's kids are okay but Cousin Bob's are out). We were in agreement that immediate family kids would be our cut off. 

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    I've been wondering the same thing. One of my aunt's adopted 10 children (ages 2 months to 12 years) and I'm freaking out that she's going to want to bring them to my wedding. That will make a total of 20 kids!
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    DG1DG1 member
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    edited December 2012

    FWIW, I think it's wise to invite all applicable kids or no kids. Drawing lines hurts feelings, and it's pointless, because any kid of any age can be well- or poorly-behaved on a given day, and it's usually difficult to predict which it will be.

    We had kids at our wedding. It was cute when the 2yo's were twirling around on the dance floor and when my 8yo cousin caught the bouquet with so much excitement. No one was confused about who the bride and groom were. 

    Niece was 15 months old at the time, and FIL had to take her out of the ceremony when she started crying. (I am still pissed about that. Her father should have done that so he could watch his son get married, FFS.) But yes, crying children can and should be removed.

    That said, there's nothing wrong with *not* having any kids, either. But it's tough to draw anything but a firm yes/no line here without causing all kinds of drama. (And if you do say no kids, be ready for some people to be unable to attend for a variety of reasons.) 

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    I have to agree with the PP--it all depends on whether you and your FI agree on kids or no kids at the wedding.  My family usually invites them to everything and has not had problems, but it's really you and your FI's call. 

    I also agree with DG--you can't really cherry pick them.  My best suggestion is to pick a logical cutoff:  no one under 18, 13, whatever.  It's awkward if some families get to bring their kids and others don't.
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