About 7 months ago my now fiancé’s mother decided to buy him (and I) a home. At this time, he and I both lived in separate apartments. They just kind of surprised me with the news. We were not engaged at the time and we had serious talks but I wasn’t raised to just up and move everything for the man in my life w/o commitment. Looong story short, he moved into the house in November and my lease was up in January so I planned on moving then w/ the promise “something is in the works, I can’t tell you anymore than that” I did. We were engaged January 1 2011. Ever since, his mother along with a decorator and her own key has come in and out whenever she pleases, adding everything(sofa, chairs, drapes, towels, beds, sheets, kitchen crap, guest bathroom, ARTIFICIAL PLANTS, VINES, EVERYTHING!), has asked me twice if I liked after the fact… Yes, a blessing at first, but then she kept coming over knocking and then entering regardless if I was home. She never waited for mr to get the door, has scared me numerous times. The boundaries kept being crossed, numerous talks with my fiancé, and counseling sessions every week. He doesn’t like the stuff but he won’t tell her no b/c she is insistent and her word is final and he has always stopped there. The final draw was when she came in and changed our sheets and thought she did nothing wrong b/c she got us new sheets. My fiancée was mad about that and they fought and didn’t talk for 2 days when they talked every morning and afternoon. Then all was fine somehow. She lost her husband 3 yrs ago and when we finally had to work up the courage to sit her down and say enough is enough and come together as a united front, she comes at me and says that she promised her now dead husband she would buy her son a house and decorate it top to bottom. I was told I was stubborn for not letting her come one more time blah blah, we stood our ground and at the end he didn’t support me whenever she came at me, I was in tears, we both said how unhappy we were (we were fighting all the time) and she didn’t hear any of it b/c she is still coming over and he moves my stuff(that she doesn’t like) everytime
I am a bit messy and I have added a few things(like a hamper) and he puts it all in my closet so she won’t bitch at him. I realized she is crazy and she won’t listen so I tried to get rid of all that negative energy and anger and turned to him and after many more fights he said that he didn’t want to lose me and he would do anything to make things better and support me. I simply told him, either he wants to be married to me or his mom. There is no 3 in a marriage. She also pays his credit card bills and is in his own name and he wont switch to the house, what is he scared of? Our wedding is in October this year and he is such the peacemaker that to this day, he refuses to fight with her and says he has done everything he can do!! HELP- I can’t live like this anymore, I have moved out in the past 12 hrs and I refuse to set myself up for a divorce and I keep trying to make it work and I do love him but $$$ is being thrown by the day. He last told me that I need to move my desk from one room to the other(nothing is in 2 BR so I claimed as my office b/c she didn’t want anything except future nursery stuff??? NO KIDS!! And I did to spite her. I don’t know what to do. Please help! HE asked me to marry him and never fights for me or our relationship.