Future father in law died

Kenyadventure

Now, I'm planning the wedding alone.  My fiance is in overseas, where his family lives and where our wedding will be.  He left early to be with the family.

I'm stuck planning a wedding (over the phone) in a third world country with people who do not call me back.  

The last straw is that our website has turned into a condolence page for the dad.  Instead of posting good wishes about us, they are going to my wedding website to greive.  I hate this....

If anyone has had a similar experience, I would love to hear about it.

Kenyadventure

Okay, I reallze that I sound like a complete meanie.  But, really I'm just exhausted, staying up late everynight, calling Kenya, responding to questions/concerns from our guests, supporting my fiance when he calls and still the wedding planning is a mess...

I feel empty and so lonely.  I hate that I feel this way bc I know that my fiance feels worse, his dad just died.  He's devastated.

And, there is this huge burden and I am left to bear it alone.  We have over 60 people traveling from the US to Kenya and all of them are asking me questions.  I'm supposed to be the expert.  I have to organize all their housing, transportation, everything.  At the same time, the wedding is in three weeks, we don't have a florist, we don't have a cake, we don't have decorations.  All this stuff that my fiance said we could do "later" is still undone.  And, now I am left to do it alone.  I really wanted to start early, I was pressuring him to finalize our plans.  Now, I am taking care of everything in a country that is not my own with customs that I am unfamiliar with.  I am a stranger in a strange land.

tesskerr

I am sorry. I have just come back from the hospital where my FI Pop is dying, and it is really sad for the family. Maybe the best thing for you is to decide what is super important, which is getting married and family, and unfortunatly flowers etc may just have to come off the list of things that are important.

Good luck.

ElleB87

Definitely decide what are "must haves" and what you could live without.  Is there another relative, who perhaps isn't as shaken as FI,  that could help out with the last minute details?

Kenyadventure

Dear Tesskerr and ElleB87, thank you for your kind words and good advice.  I will try to find a family friend that has some time.

Also, tesskerr, I'm sorry to hear that you're FI Pop is dying.  My prayers are with you and the rest of your new family.

chellabella82

So sorry to hear about your future FIL's passing

Like the other ladies suggested, figure out your must haves and start there.  Sit down and make yourself a list of what you have to get done and carry it around with you at all times and also a planner.  That way you can keep track of appointments for cake tastings and fittings and whatnot.  Anytime you have some down time try to tackle something on the list like making phone calls.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from any friends of family, most people love helping out with wedding stuff. 

I can sympathize with your feelings about the wedding website turning into a grieving place for everyone.  Hopefully that passes soon.  No doubt your wedding day will be emotional for him and his side of the family.  Maybe you could light a candle in his memory during the ceremony or say a few words in his memory in the program. 

I don't think you sound like a meanie at all.  You are stressed out and I would be too in your situation!