I picked and chose kids at my wedding.

baconsmom

And I think anyone can do so. True enough, the only kid at my wedding was Bacon, but she's the only one I trusted to behave herself. 

I don't see why you can't have just the flower girl (and brother) and no one else there. Why not? They're wedding-party members, not random children. And I certainly would feel no obligation to invite brats. Ever. Even (oh, especially) if it meant that their parents wouldn't come. 

Butter Cookie

I invited the kids in my family, knowing full-well they'll probably be a little out of control. I can only hope their parents sit them down with the low-stern, "if you embarrass me so help me God..." speech. If not, I'm not the one who looks like a loser - their parents are.

hmonkey

i don't care about picking and choosing.  i let any and all kids in my wedding, and i didn't care about providing a babysitter; that's for mom and dad to do.  most of my friends loved a night off from the kids with adult meals, conversation and draaanks.

i also think it's okay to exclude any kid, irregurd of closeness.  if the kid is a brat, it's not going to get invited places. 

i guess this isn't a big deal for me, because if a kid is going to get out of line at a wedding, 200+ korean adults are going to be in that kid's face.

TheDuckis

My flower girls and ring bearers were no closer-related to me than the 65+ young cousins I didn't invite. There's a huge difference between having 3 or 4 kids at your wedding and having half of the guest list be children. I see no problem with picking and choosing.

DG1

But usually the argument is "little kids are brats and are loud and are messy" blah blah.  It's pretty rare that the one kid that happens to belong to an immediate family member is immune to those qualities and all of the distant family member kids are somehow the ones who are loud and bratty.

If you think kids are bratty, don't have them at your wedding.  Obviously, I think if the B&G have children (his, hers, or theirs), then they should certainly be there and actively included, but I also think that kind of wedding is usually one where you'd also invite other kids so your kids would have something to do/someone to play with.

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_picked-chose-kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:4b812221-2a4f-44f6-b7de-675d8afbb55dPost:292b2505-aea3-45b2-b11a-9d0db66dd101">Re: I picked and chose kids at my wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]But usually the argument is "little kids are brats and are loud and are messy" blah blah.  It's pretty rare that the one kid that happens to belong to an immediate family member is immune to those qualities and all of the distant family member kids are somehow the ones who are loud and bratty. If you think kids are bratty, don't have them at your wedding.  Obviously, I think if the B&G have children (his, hers, or theirs), then they should certainly be there and actively included, but I also think that kind of wedding is usually one where you'd also invite other kids so your kids would have something to do/someone to play with.
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]


I don't think that's the usual argument. I think the argument is, X kid is a brat, but Y kid is not." and because of that there's confusion about whether it's ok to invite Y but not X.

GBCK

meh, I think a lot of the 'problems' of kids are something ALL kids have.

I think blanket rules create less having to explain one's self to people than picking and choosing. 

baconsmom

That's true, GB, but you know I'm an expert at "Because it won't be possible, that's why. Bean dip?" 

Butter Cookie

Mmm... bean dip.

GBCK

true.

I just found it easier to invite none...and the only 2 who showed up had a sitter get sick the day of and they're 2 I would have invited possibly on a good day...I think their dad (my cousin) knew that :-P