Wedding Woes

Planning a Wedding with Ill Family Members

Does anyone have experience with planning a wedding while family members are ill? Last month I got the kind of news that makes your world flip upside down. My dad was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. He's had surgery to remove it and is now undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. He's doing good right now, but it's been a lot for my family to deal with. On top of that my uncle (his brother) just passed away from cancer and my grandma (his mother) is not in good shape and seems to be nearing the end of her life. I've been feeling very conflicted. My wedding is just two months away and sometimes I feel guilty for feeling so excited when all these people around me are dealing with illnesses and loss. And, planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to watch your dad go through brain surgery. I know life happens whether you're planning a wedding or not, but it makes me sad sometimes that this time in my life that is supposed to be so happy and exciting is also filled with so much sadness. Has anyone else out there gone through something similar? Any words of wisdom to share?

Re: Planning a Wedding with Ill Family Members

  • I'm very sorry about your dad. I know it's incredibly stressful, but maybe your happiness and excitement is something that they need. I can't imagine that anyone who loves you would not be excited for you, especially in times of difficulty. They may not be able to help you with your planning, but I'm sure that they don't mind having something happy to look forward to. As long as you aren't shoving wedding talk down their throats (and I don't imagine that you would), you shouldn't feel guilty. Best of luck to both you and your family!
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  • As a 3 time MOB I can guarantee you this:  Your dad wants you to be excited and happy and deliriously joyful.  Think how he would feel if he thought he was taking any of that away from you!

    This isn't some everyday deal here.  It's your wedding.  Rejoice, be happy, and know that he wants to take none of this from you. 

    I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this right now, but you have to take the cards you've been dealt and make it work.  If you have a night where it's too much, tell FI it's cuddle on the couch night so you can cry.  If it's a day you are excited about and have made some plans, be thrilled!  It's that making lemonade out of lemons thing.

    I wish your father a quick and successful recovery, and I wish you a wonderful wedding.
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