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F/U to CA BM (warning: long)

Most of you know my frustrations of dealing with my CA BM.  I didn't want to just boot her out of the wedding (although the thought was starting to sound more tempting), but the lack of communication was starting to add to my stress.  I asked MOH on Thurs if CA BM was coming up this next weekend for my bach party (she was planning on staying with my at my place) and MOH said neither she nor my other BM had heard from her despite numerous emails and CA BM having viewed the Evite. 

So, before I found out no one had heard from her, I sent CA BM a text on Thurs morning asking about hotel for the wedding (i.e. room block, if she needed one etc) and didn't hear anything.  Fri morn sent her another text asking if she'd gotten my text the day before.  Fri eve I called her and left a VM.  She texted me 10 mins later answering my hotel question but by that point I wanted to talk to her to find out if she really could pull off being a BM due to the lack of communication. 

I had told her a few weeks ago due to the added expense of her coming up for the bach party I didn't expect her to attend, but if she could and wanted to great, but otherwise with her mom having had surgery a few weeks ago, money, etc. if she couldn't to not feel obligated to.  I also told her that whichever way it goes to let MOH know ASAP so she could adjust plans accordingly.  So the fact that she didn't respond to ANYONE part of me was upset that she wasn't communicating and part of me was a little worried about her.

Back to her text to me Fri eve - I texted her back a few mins later asking what time she was off I needed to talk to her.  Didn't hear anything.  Sat eve I called her and left a VM.  Getting impatient at this point after a couple more hours I texted her asking her to call me, I needed to talk to her.  She finally called me last night at 10pm and we had a lengthy discussion.  I asked if being a BM was going to be too much for her to take on with her mom's current condition, her issues with her BF, her issues with her work, money, etc. and she assurred me that it wasn't and she plans on being at the wedding as a BM hell or high water.  I told her the lack of communication was adding to my stress she said since I just then told her that, that she will do better with communicating. 

We talked for a bit and it was actually a kind of nice conversation.  I hate to say this because it will probably sound horrible but she didn't bring up her issues with her BF or her mom until I asked her flat out how things were going with both of them.  She exercised restraint in going on with her stresses so as to not add to mine.  She also offered to reimburse me for the BM shoes, shipping her dress down to her, and to pre-pay for the MUA/hairstylist so I can put everyone's money together into one check for the lady.  She also offered that since she's flying in early the Thursday before to go with me to the venue to help set up.  It was a pleasant 180 of what I've been dealing with and was partly dreading for a while now.  So, hopefully things will be a bit smoother from here on with communication from her.  And as long as she shows up for the wedding in an altered dress, should be fine.
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Family fall photo session with Ashley Hoyle Photography
Married 7/10/10
Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
Anniversary

Re: F/U to CA BM (warning: long)

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    edited December 2011
    Oh wonderful!!! I'm so glad your talk ended up being productive!!!
    Daisypath Vacation tickers
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    ArchelArchel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, that's good news! Let's see how long this pleasant side of things will keep up...
    - Rachel

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    Married 11/6/10

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    edited December 2011
    That's so great that everything worked out calmy and positively! Good news :o)
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    yey, i agree that sometimes a good heart to heart talk can really clear things up.  It does sound like CA BM has a lot on her plate and understandable that she is flaky. I think she gets the picture now and will not cause u anymore stress. Im also glad u got this straightened out so u can look forward to you bachelorette party.
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    edited December 2011

    I'm so glad for you! That should take some stress off!

    Married 7/17/2010 Photobucket PersonalMilestone
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    edited December 2011
    wow, that is awesome!! i've had some bp issues of my own lately so i'm glad its working out for you!
    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
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