my rude sister (kinda long sorry)

black_fire_pixies

My FI and I got engaged over two years ago (in college so long engagement) and set our date for August of this year. My sister and I are not very close because we didn't meet till I was 18 (I was adopted). Even though we didn't grow up together I really wanted a good relationship with her. When I got engaged I did the excited thing and told everyone, within two months my sister who didn't even have a BF at the time dragged the first guy she met down to the courthouse and married him. At the time I wondered if it had anything to do with me being her little sister but I assumed it was coincidence and let it go. My sister has since divorced (the guy was a pysco) and is now planning to marry someone else. Her FI is catholic and they spent a lot of time dealing with the church because of my sis's divorce (and b/c his parents will disown him if the ceremony isn't catholic). The church has still not come to a discussion but now my sis is saying to hell with it, which is her choice. What bothers me is the other day she text me and let me know that the church thing was out and that she was getting married in THREE MONTHS. Not to sound whiney and do the "My Day" thing but she hasn't chosen when in August and I'm worried she wouldn't consider my day. I wouldn't even mind the same day (except I obviously couldn't be there) but if it is our mom will have to chose which daughters wedding to go to. Here's were I risk sounding whiney.

My sister lived with our mom her whole life, I'm lucky to see mom twice a year for the past 4 years.

This is my sister's second (rushed) wedding, It's my first wedding and I spent years planning.

Because my sis is showing no concern for my day, my suspicions about her need to one up me and be married before her BABY sis is getting much stronger. She has always been needy and a bit inconsiderate, but I never realized just how much attention she demands until now.

Am I in the wrong? Should I be offended? And what do I do if she does pick my day? I'm tired of not speaking up for myself but I want to be sure I'm justified if I raise a fuss.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_rude-sister-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:51e58905-18ed-4278-ba7a-c494581b4f91Post:5d7f12f1-f1a1-4aa0-a795-f8df30416968">my rude sister (kinda long sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I got engaged over two years ago (in college so long engagement) and set our date for August of this year. My sister and I are not very close because we didn't meet till I was 18 (I was adopted). Even though we didn't grow up together I really wanted a good relationship with her. When I got engaged I did the excited thing and told everyone, within two months my sister who didn't even have a BF at the time dragged the first guy she met down to the courthouse and married him. At the time I wondered if it had anything to do with me being her little sister but I assumed it was coincidence and let it go. My sister has since divorced (the guy was a pysco) and is now planning to marry someone else. Her FI is catholic and they spent a lot of time dealing with the church because of my sis's divorce (and b/c his parents will disown him if the ceremony isn't catholic). The church has still not come to a discussion but now my sis is saying to hell with it, which is her choice. What bothers me is the other day she text me and let me know that the church thing was out and that she was getting married in THREE MONTHS . Not to sound whiney and do the "My Day" thing but she hasn't chosen when in August and I'm worried she wouldn't consider my day. I wouldn't even mind the same day (except I obviously couldn't be there) but if it is our mom will have to chose which daughters wedding to go to. Here's were I risk sounding whiney. My sister lived with our mom her whole life, I'm lucky to see mom twice a year for the past 4 years. This is my sister's second (rushed) wedding, It's my first wedding and I spent years planning. Because my sis is showing no concern for my day, my suspicions about her need to one up me and be married before her BABY sis is getting much stronger. She has always been needy and a bit inconsiderate, but I never realized just how much attention she demands until now. Am I in the wrong? Should I be offended? And what do I do if she does pick my day? I'm tired of not speaking up for myself but I want to be sure I'm justified if I raise a fuss.
Posted by black_fire_pixies@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

klm03013

I would wait to hear which date she picks before you freak out. Hopefully she is thinking another day in August.

mrshellem2012

I see where the suspision comes from here, like how ironic that she just randomly picked august. If she is willing to marry so quickly why not july, or september? i think she is trying to do something here and maybe you should talk to her about it before the furr really flys!!?? good luck to you,Either way i wish you the best luck on your wedding day and that you and you fiance have a wonderful life together.  also, i am very happy that you were able to find your biological mother.

dragonwagon

If she happens to pick the same date as you after you have planned for years, I would just forget her. She will be the one to put your mother in a bad situation, and she will have to deal with the shame. I would hope she would feel ashamed for doing that.

And you don't have any right to judge her marriages or her motives. She is grown. If she gets married for the wrong reasons, it will only be a matter of time before the marriage crumbles anyway.

Plan your wedding and focus on your marriage. The people who want to be there will be there, and those should be the ones who matter.

black_fire_pixies

Apparently mom put her foot down and let sis know that she needed to be considerate of my day. She picked July 31st (still suspicious of the fact that she can't seem to get married after me but whatever). So hopefully no more drama but knowing my sis I'm not holding my breath.