Another Arguement.... wedding in 2 months.

Integurl05

Hi, everytime I feel good about my wedding in a couple of months. Something comes up between me and my fiance.  This past weekend it was over the Bridal Shower gifts and money.  He told me what we needed and that I don't need all the stuff on my bridal registery because he has it all already at his place.  When he argues with me he likes to make me look bad and then it escalates.  Then it makes me wonder to go through with it or not??  He throws up things to me to hurt my feelings... then tries to smooth it out to keep me....  Any thoughts??

E Squared

Maybe consider putting these wedding plans on hold until y'all can communicate, compromise, and actually have a relationship worth a wedding ceremony, no?

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_another-arguement-wedding-in-2-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:51fa0403-aa83-431d-9135-a1c56b604f48Post:99066774-f52d-4e27-98ba-e0358b3e090b">Another Arguement.... wedding in 2 months.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, everytime I feel good about my wedding in a couple of months. Something comes up between me and my fiance.  This past weekend it was over the Bridal Shower gifts and money.  He told me what we needed and that I don't need all the stuff on my bridal registery because he has it all already at his place.  When he argues with me he likes to make me look bad and then it escalates.  Then it makes me wonder to go through with it or not??  He throws up things to me to hurt my feelings... then tries to smooth it out to keep me....  Any thoughts??
Posted by Integurl05[/QUOTE]

<div>why ask for household items if he already has them?</div><div>
</div><div>why do you want to marry this guy? he sounds like an ass. </div>

seesawgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_another-arguement-wedding-in-2-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:51fa0403-aa83-431d-9135-a1c56b604f48Post:99066774-f52d-4e27-98ba-e0358b3e090b">Another Arguement.... wedding in 2 months.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, everytime I feel good about my wedding in a couple of months. Something comes up between me and my fiance.  This past weekend it was over the Bridal Shower gifts and money.  He told me what we needed and that I don't need all the stuff on my bridal registery because he has it all already at his place.  When he argues with me he likes to make me look bad and then it escalates.  Then it makes me wonder to go through with it or not??  He throws up things to me to hurt my feelings... then tries to smooth it out to keep me....  Any thoughts??
Posted by Integurl05[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Men sometimes do not understand registries. I know my fiance does not. There was a bit of tension until I explained to him that people WILL bring gifts, and if we do not register and give people guidelines, we are likely to wind up with things we will never use, or that we find hideous. So try explaining it to him like that. Remind him that even though he might have towels/iron/blender now, they don't last forever, and you could stand to have an extra on hand. </div><div>
</div><div>Are you going through premarital counseling? It is very, very helpful with talking through difficult issues, learning to fight fairly, etc. I'm not going to jump the gun and say you need to hold off on the wedding, but seriously, do the counseling. Dont say you can't afford it, if you can afford to spend whatever you are spending on a wedding (one single day), you can afford to invest in your MARRIAGE. Scale back on the wedding if you have to, but seriously, find a good counselor.  </div><div>
</div><div>Weddings are stressful, especially if your FI feels like you are focusing on the wedding, and not him. You will never find a perfect person that acts exactly how you want them to act when they are hurt and angry. If he feels neglected for all of the party planning, you may want to take some time to re-connect. Spend a few days with him, and make a point not to talk about the wedding. Remind him of how much you love him, not just by saying it, but by showing it. </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck!</div>

hmonkey

sometimes i like seesaw; sometimes i think it's like lharri/jessjo/jeowy all over again.

seesawgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_another-arguement-wedding-in-2-months?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:51fa0403-aa83-431d-9135-a1c56b604f48Post:ddc8dc26-f207-459a-9de1-04e312755135">Re: Another Arguement.... wedding in 2 months.</a>:
[QUOTE]sometimes i like seesaw; sometimes i think it's like lharri/jessjo/jeowy all over again.
Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Sometimes I like me too, other times...not so much. Join the party. ;) </div>

kaceymarie

sounds like you guys didn't go registry shopping together? that could of avoided it.. idk. you guys need to communicate better i know that.