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Wedding planned during lent....and no one will shut up about it...

My finace and I were enaged for over a year.  Due to financial hardships (from my parents), him not speaking to his parents, me out of work grad student, he working to support the two of us, and 2 cousins getting married within that time span had not really planned our wedding.  We have a limited budget with a family who expects to have a large reception.  We ended up booking a really great deal on 3/22/13 in a really nice hall in central jersey.  Now my family wont stop reminding us that we booked during lent.  I know that there are people who are religious, I do not need to be reminded of the meaning behind lent; i just want people to understand that it was either the nice hall that we booked or in an AFW hall with us making everything. 
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Re: Wedding planned during lent....and no one will shut up about it...

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    flower_divaflower_diva member
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    edited December 2011
    don't let it bother you. It is not your problem if they are having a difficultt time with it.  If they can't come because of their beliefs .....oh well....tell them you will certainly miss them.   
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    RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
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    edited December 2011
    You and your FI do not have to incorporate religions traditions that do not reflect your faith.  They wouldn't ask you to honor Jewish food and Sabbath restrictions if you're not Jewish, would they?  Explain that you have booked a wedding compatible with your religious beliefs, and while you respect their religion, this is about yours.  Those who have to decline due to their faith will be missed.
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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    edited December 2011
    Catholics can't get married during Lent?
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    edited December 2011
    Agree! I say if they want a BIG reception after Fat Tuesday then they can all send you a check for $1,000 to help with the costs. Those that are close to the both of you should know that you have valid financial constraints and would understand that this is what you have to offer. It is my guess that it is more the extended family and "friends" that are not happy with your plans. Oh well... your problem? No. I say whomever arrives and celebrates with you are the ones you should celebrate with. However, I would suggest offering a fish entree if you are having a sit down meal. Or at least one item on hors devors that is lent friendly. That would keep many from having to "fast" on your big day. Just a thought.
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    RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Catholics are supposed to avoid Lent and Advent, although I don't think either is outright prohibited.
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    edited December 2011
    According to Catholic Wedding Help.com

    Dates to avoidYou may schedule your wedding for any day or time you like except for Good Friday and Holy Saturday during Triduum. You may also want to avoid scheduling your wedding during Advent (the time from four Sundays before Christmas through Christmas Eve) or Lent (the penitential period of about forty days between Ash Wednesday and Easter); weddings held during these times should take into account the fact that the whole Church is observing a special period of penance. Your pastor may advise you to "tone down" your wedding if you choose to hold it during this period. So basically, you are completely within your right to have a wedding on your date even if YOU are strictly Catholic and any other strict Catholics in your family that are fussing about it are just being difficult.  The "toning down" is in reference to the fact the catholic church considers a wedding to be a community event, something that the entire church community/parish may participate in but these days its pretty much a non-issue (this goes back to times when several generations of families lived in the same area and all attended the same church and the church family had a much closer bond than many modern parishes do).   I like the previously mentioned idea of trying to include some Lent friendly food options, after all that may be why people are complaining to begin with.  
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks all for letting me gripe.  We do have lent friendly meal options (fish, veggies, fruits, non-dairy options) and people know this.  The real issue was when my 2nd cousin complained that her daughter (8 yr old) and son (5 yr old) are learning about religion and my wedding will (not might) confuse them.  She went on to bash my reception choice and said "no wonder why you got that deal, no Catholic would ever select those dates".  When I reminded her that she could a) not come, b) talk to her preist and get a "pass" for the day or c) come but enjoy the lent friendly options; she became worse.
    O well....gotta love family.
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